Compromise vs Collapse

Life, Love, Relationships

Compromising is something we all have to do in many aspects of our lives. Compromises with life, career, family, goals, friends, relationships, life choices and countless number of other things are sometimes required in our daily lives. However often times we can get to the point of collapse where we loose ourselves and sometimes over compromise.  This can be problematic when it comes to relationships. A few months ago I was invited to a panel discussion on today’s relationship climate and some of the challenges with dating. One of the topics that was touched on was compromising and how it can impact a relationship. This prompted me to ask the question when does compromise turn into collapse?

What is Compromise?

For many people in relationships compromise is an easy thing to do i.e.what restaurants you all  like to attend, what movies to go see or maybe even to turn the TV down while the other person is on the phone. These compromises do not threaten our core requirements, wants, and deepest desires and the reasons why we got into a relationship in the beginning.  In every relationship we all have differences but sometimes it can cause disagreements, arguments and sometimes causing the end of the relationship. Compromise is great in small doses, often necessary to smooth over a few rough edges of an otherwise smoothly functioning relationship. The problem occurs when we start compromising  essential elements of who we are is when the cracks and leaks in the foundation of relationship start to expose itself.

What is Collapse?

Collapse only comes when we are in relationships that requires us to change who we are, what  we do, the very thing that describes us as a person. This is when it can become tricky and many times can ruin a relationship. The goal for anyone looking for companionship is to find that “special someone” who makes them happy and are compatible with their personalities, character and morals.  This is not to say that we will find some absolutely perfect, but we can have someone who is “right for us”.

Final Thoughts

In a healthy relationship we should sustain who each partner is and allow each person to grow and work together to meet his or her needs. This may seem obvious, but it is hard to keep this in mind while entranced by the unmatched bliss of a new love, when you’re willing to give up anything and everything to be with the other person and you don’t appreciate the costs of what you’re giving up. Have you every compromise before what were some of the things you compromised was it worth it? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!


Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.


Stay Focused: Working Towards Your Goals

Goals, Life, Motivation

Do you remember your new year’s resolutions you set at the beginning of this year?

We all know staying focus on our goals can be difficult after the initial excitement is gone. When we first write down our goals and dreams we are filled with joy and optimism. But when we are overwhelmed with obstacles, boredom or just lack of focus continuing going after said goal can be challenging.  Here are seven ways to stay focused on your goals.


  1. Simplify Your Goals:

Sometimes we have very in-depth goals it can become difficult to stay focus on our goals. When we have massive goals the road can be long and may be quite some time till we will see a reward for our efforts. When we take on a goal the first step we need to do is give ourselves a “pep talk”. Reassuring ourselves that we will feel rewarded at the end of our pursuit is like driving with no fuel.


  1. Value Success:

Sometimes when we are so focused on a specific goal, and don’t take the time to be thankful for all the smaller success we have on the road to our ultimate goal.


  1. Learn to Say No:

One of the major issues that many of us face while trying to make our dreams a reality is the ability to say “no” to disturbances. For example, have you ever put off working toward your goal for something else that came out of nowhere? Many times it may just be a simply text message, call, social media notification or our favorite TV show does the job of delaying us from our goals.


  1. Write Down Your Goals:

To help us focus on our goals writing them down or create a vision board will assist in training our mind to think more about our goals and actually achieving them. Also our brain thinks in terms of images so, if you choose the right pictures, it will serve as both an enjoyable and effective method to stay focused on your goals.


  1. Support System:

This is one of the most overlooked steps to focusing on our goals. When we have a support of people or one person who checks on our progress and helps us keep on track. Without a support system it can be easy to get off track and stop pursing our goal. In the case we do not have a support system we can reach out to people who are like-minded and are also on the road to greatness.

  1. Have A Positive Mindset:

Once we change our mindset from “I can’t, I won’t”. To “I can, I will” this simple change can make all the difference when pursing our goals.


  1. Enjoy The Process:

If you don’t enjoy the process, then it will get overwhelming and the likelihood is that you will quit. On the other hand, if you love the process it makes the road to achieving your goals easier.


We all have it within us to find the willpower for continued goal or dream pursuit. Think of how you learned how to drive as a teenager or young adult. Whether you experience failure or disappointment you stayed present in the moment and in your singular focus on the task at hand. You just focused on your goal in the distance, an infectious desire that garnered support and the relentless urge to get there, one step at a time.  What are your goals and what ways do stay focus on the road to success? Comment Below & if you liked the post please share!


Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.




More Money, More Problems?

Business, Life, Success

The concept “more money more problems” has been publicized in the media for years. Many people believe money can solve all their problems. In today’s money hungry materialistic society money has become looked at in such high regard, because you need it for pretty much everything. So this brings up the question does having more money equivalent more or less problems?

More Money Less Problems

If you’re like me and do not have tons of money and sometimes struggle to pay your bills each month. It may be unreasonable for us to have any compassion for the problems that some wealthier people face. In most of our eyes having large sums of income coming in every week be life changing. In generally most people would assume that having money would solve majority of their problems. How many people would love to have the money to pay their mortgage payment, car payment or credit card statements? The idea that having money would somehow cause us more problems may seem far-fetched.

The Reality of Money

We all know that in order to live a healthy and prosperous life that you need some type of constant income. The question is how much do you really need or want to live the lifestyle you want. This can become problematic because having money is great until we realize that having “more money” can bring up issues that we may not have preconceived we would have to face. Such as envy, hate, jealousy, more expenses i.e. bills and the responsibility that having a lot of money comes with. These problems might seem small and insufficient to someone who doesn’t have very much money.  The rich have problems just different kind that might not be upon the minds of people with a couple less zeros behind their paycheck.

Final Thoughts

Money cannot solve all our problems or remove every worry, but it does have the power to reduce stress in tough times while providing opportunity in good times. In the end money is necessary and with more of it we can have some of our stress alleviated. What do you think if you have more money would you have less problems? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!


Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.


10 Rules For Success

Life, Motivation, Success

I have always been infatuated with successful people. I constantly read about their processes, habits, philosophies, behaviors, and what influenced their success. Not only do I find it motivating, but by understanding how and why successful people do what they do it helps me to strive for success. As I have researched over the past few months I came to realization that success has many different definitions depending on who you ask so I combined a list of ten rules that successful people live and breathe by.


  1. Love The Process:

Everyone loves the end result of success i.e. money, notary or fame that comes with success. But often times to get to this level we have to love what we do. If you truly love what you are doing then it will be easy to put in all the hard work and sacrifice required to be successful.


  1. Don’t Limit Yourself:

Generally without even realizing we limit ourselves by our thoughts, outlook on life and the vision we have set for our lives.  Sometimes it is often a misconception that we are limited in what we can achieve in life. This is not the case once we realize that we are capable of doing any and everything we put our minds to.


  1. Be Passionate:

This might sound cliché, but majority of successful people and aficionados have confirmed that having passion is vital to have any kind of success. Without having passion you will never reach your dreams and goals, because when it becomes difficult you will give up if you truly don’t love what you do.


  1. Don’t Care What Other People Think Of You:

On the road to success there will always be naysayers, dream killers or doubters standing in your way trying to discourage, stop and derail your predestined success. When you are on the path to greatness often times there will be people who have negative comments or simply just don’t believe in whatever you are doing. This is when your mindset and self-belief plays a major role in your success.


  1. Appreciate Where You Are Now:

In many cases we get caught up in where we want to be in our career, life or success wise. That we tend to forget to be thankful for where we are at that present moment.  This does not mean don’t want and strive for better but simply to not get down on yourself for not reaching your goal at that present time.


  1. Read, Read & Read Some More:

This in my opinion is one of the most looked over and underpublicized rules to success. The more we read the more information and knowledge we attain. Reading is truly fundamental that is why it is one of the first things we learn as a child, but as we grow older we tend to only utilize it when necessary. In the end the most successful people read almost every day to expand their minds and constantly learning new things.

  1. Model Success & Networking:

Generally most successful people had a mentor or somebody they looked up to and gained valuable information by just watching how they became successful. Meeting and learning from successful people is an imperative step to success.  A wise man once said “Networking is vital to success but if you don’t learn anything you have nothing”.


  1. Have Confidence Believe in Yourself:

Without confidence and belief in yourself it can become very detrimental to obtain success. If you don’t truly believe in yourself, you can’t get through life properly or smoothly. Self-confidence is one of the most important qualities to have in every aspect of our lives. Whether this is on a personal or professional level belief in oneself goes a long way in determining success or failure.


  1. Surround Yourself With Greatness:

This is an easy concept to grasp, but many of us have a difficult time actually adopting this step. Finding great and successful people who are willing to help and mentor us can be challenging. So surrounding ourselves with people who are like you who have the determination and drive to be success is the next best thing. Greatness embodies greatness not the other way around so if you want to be great you cannot associate with people who are perfectly fine with mediocrity.


  1. Never Give Up:

No matter what level of success we want to achieve we have to adopt the “never give up mindset”. In any endeavor that we decide to into we will have failures, disappointments and naysayers. The key is we never give up and stay true to our passion, dream or goal.


In the end even with all these rules above if we don’t truly love what we do and have decided to dedicate ourselves to do so. Gaining success may seem fair fetched but we all have a choice today to change our lives by simply going after our passion and never looking back. What are your rules for success? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!



Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.



Does It Really Take 10,000 hours?

Inspiration, Life, Motivation

The 10,000 hour rule is a theory that states that it takes 10,000 hours to master a skill. According to aficionados of this rule the common factor of the amount of time we practice in a particular skill within any area of study which is about 90 minutes per day for 20 years of practice. Anyone can become an expert or mastery in that particular skill. This topic has been highly publicized and criticized in the media.  Many people have passionate views on the matter. However this question deserves a bit more than a simple yes or no answer. It deserves an open mind and a balanced analysis of the potential flaws, downsides and positives of this theory.

Practice is Critical

Although many media outlets view the 10,000 hour rule as a myth. Having more experience does help contribute to expertise. For example, if you practice a particular skill for a two day period most likely you will not master it, but if you practice that same skill over and over again with time you can become skilled. While practice is critical how you spend your practice matters even more no one can achieve greatness by repeating the same thing over and over again. We all need to be confronted by different and new challenges and learn how to solve them. The mind is great at pattern-matching then if you come across a problem similar to one you had in the past chances are it will be easier to solve.

Is 10,000 Hours Necessary

Opponents of this rule tend to disagree with the idea that it really takes 10,000 hours to become an ‘expert’.  Many experts argue that this theory is not a magic number that greatness atomically happens when you make it to 10,000 hours. Although throughout my research I have found that many experts have been quoted to say that “majority of the reliable variance unexplained expertise is more than likely explainable by other factors than the 10,000 theory”. Simply said, practice is needed but practice alone won’t make you an expert. Also other factors that can come into play are the age you started, intelligence or lack of resources. I found this to be interesting because this does bring to light that the theory might have some truth but also has some flagrant flaws.

Final Thoughts

There plenty of other circumstances factor into success but it’s worth taking a closer look at what this could potentially mean for our ultimate success. If you’re working towards a goal or dream that requires you to be an expert or be highly skilled like writing or being a professional in any occupation. It can be difficult to apply 10,000 hour rule. If you find another way that works for you, though, you should see huge improvements based on putting your time and effort into the right kind of practice. Let me know in the comment section what has worked for you and do you think it takes 10,000 to become or an expert in a particular skill? Comment Below & if you liked this post please share!



Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.


Who Are You Spending Time With?

Life, People, Relationships, Success

A couple of weeks ago I had a discussion with a friend of mine about what it takes to achieve our goals in life. The main conclusion of this conversation is that a large amount of how successful we are in life comes down to the people we spend our time with. Strange as it may sound no matter how independent or self-efficient we are greatly influenced by those closest to us.

Impact People Have on Us

Many of us have all type of relationships some platonic, significant other, co-workers, or family members. However sometimes we don’t realize the power they can have on our lives. If you want to know where your life is heading look at your friends. If your friends are going places, have a spirit of excellence, kind, generous, courteous, and pursuit of success then those qualities are going to rub off on you.

The Significance ‘The Wrong People’ Can Have

Associating with the wrong people can affect our lives in a major way. The wrong people can negatively influence, discourage and mislead us just because they might not have our best interest at heart. The great thing is there are a bunch of amazing, positive, goal oriented people just waiting to help improve and shape our life in a positive direction. But here’s the key: If you’re spending time with the wrong people, you’ll never meet the right ones. A quote that always resonates with me is “You can’t hang out with chickens and expect to soar with eagles”. This simply means that if you want to reach your already predestined greatness hanging with people that aren’t going any place will only drag you down.

Who Are You Spending Time With?

Unsuccessful people find other unsuccessful people in other words birds of a feather flock together. Making sure the people closest to you are heading towards success is crucial. My challenge is simple no matter how smart, talented, how many skills you have acquired, where you are from or your family background. All that matters is where you want to be in life and the people you surround yourself with.  An additional thought, you shouldn’t spend a lot of time with people that are always negative, people that are constantly discouraged, you have to keep them cheered up, keep helping them fix their problems Now, I am huge component of helping other people I have dedicated my whole life to do so. But if you are constantly giving to a relationship or friendship, and aren’t receiving anything in return you might have to reconsider if that person is someone you should be spending your time with.

Final Thoughts

If we are on the road to success we must surround ourselves with the ‘right people’. The key that most all successful people point to is “when I changed my friends and the people I surround myself with my whole life completely changed”. Sometimes we tend to pick up on habits of our friends without even noticing it. We all have friendships that started off great then became toxic and it can be difficult to end a relationship or friendships after you have invested a lot of time, effort and energy. Have you ever had friends or family who weren’t right for you at that moment in your life? Also have you found those great people in your life who influence and help improve your life? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!



Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.


Failure: The First Step Towards Success

Life, Motivation, Success

“Failure is the first step towards success” is one of the most used, quoted and publicized  quotes and often told to many of us in many different stages of life ,but is somwtimes difficult to follow its mantra.  Sometimes we want all the “success” but don’t want to experience the hard work, pain and in many cases failure that’s comes before success.  Almost everything in life requires to learn or try something that you have never done before. That’s why mistakes, mishaps and failure often times happens when we decide to go after our goals and dreams. This relates to anything in life whether you are trying to better yourself by reading more, starting a new workout routine or even starting a business. Needless to say to have success in anything we have to keep in mind that we may (will) fail sometimes.

What is Failure? 

Trial and error are usually the best way to find out what works and what doesn’t work. It is the means of solving life’s problems in a sense. Yet many people are afraid to undertake the trial because they’re too fearful of experiencing the mistake. They make the mishap of believing that all errors are wrong and harmful, when most of the time they are both helpful and necessary. Error provides the feedback that points the way to success. Only error pushes people to put together a new and better trial, leading through yet more errors and trials until they can ultimately find a viable and creative solution. To meet with an error is not to fail, but to take one more step on the path to final success. No errors means no successes either.

What Can We Learn From Failure 

The only way we can learn from failure is when we have been through it. When we know what we did wrong in the first place, when we have tried every known way that’s exactly when it will dawn on us the right way to get up. Success depends on us if we have fallen time after time, it’s time to build a different strategy for getting up then try again. Most people can’t  and won’t succeed because they don’t want to get up after they have failed. May people have a serious misconception when it comes to “failure” because they put negative labels on failure. It’s important to understand that any time you fail at something, whether it’s minor or major you have to believe you are one step closer to success.

Final Thoughts 

Forget about the consequences of failure. Failure is only a temporary change in direction to set you straight for your next success. So just go ahead and don’t let these meaningful falls get on your nerves! Adopt the “Never Give Up” mentality even through this may seem cliché it really can change your outlook towards failure. Have you ever experienced failure in your life? How did you overcome it? Comment Below & if you liked this post please comment!


Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.


Anything Is Possible If You Have Courage To Pursue It

Life, Motivation, Success

In generally most people have aspirations for a better life maybe a goal or dream that you always wanted to pursue. This may correspond with self-improvement or maybe a passion that you always have had an interest in. Having a goal or passion is the easy part but finding the courage to pursue it and overcoming internal doubt that can discourage and leave you fearful by your own thoughts.

Having courage in any aspect of life can be difficult but especially if you want to achieve something that may be strenuous such as going back to school, becoming an entrepreneur or starting a new a diet. For the most part you have to go through many years of hard work, dedication and endure personal self-doubt, but also deal with the uncertainty of actually achieving what you originally set out that you want to do. This can be problematic because sometimes finding the inner strength to actually follow through on our goals and passions can be overwhelming.

Once you find the inner strength to continue despite obstacles that you might face and keep going even when you want to quit. If you imagine yourself not trying and just giving up just think how would that make you feel? Think of success as the engine and courage as its fuel you will not reach your divined destination without fuel i.e. you cannot reach success without courage.  Here are a few ways you can find the courage to pursue your goals, passions and dreams.


  1. Acknowledge It:

The first step to finding courage is to “Acknowledge it”. No matter what your goal is don’t dismiss it and say it’s not that important. If there is something in your heart telling you that this is what you want you owe it to yourself to at least acknowledge it and think about how it might come to fruition.  The more you believe in anything the better chance there is for it to actually happened a becoming a reality.

  1. Delete The Doubt:

This step is imperative to confront that always hindering self-doubt that goes on in your mind. When this doubt shows its ugly head just remind yourself to think positively and delete those negative thoughts. Try reading positive articles, blog post or books and surround yourself with positive people with great energy.

  1. Don’t Let The Fear of Failure Stop You:

Most people who don’t have the courage to follow their dreams because of the fear of failure The role of failure and success are often misconstrue. In most cases, you can’t have one without the other.  This coincides with the idea that you can’t succeed in the pursuit of your dreams right away it takes patience. If you view failure as a learning opportunity instead of in a negative connotation the feedback you receive from that experience is invaluable.


Always remember only courageous people accomplish their dreams. This applies to anything you want to accomplish in life. The same mindset that is required to become a musician, entrepreneur, getting a promotion at your job or just being successful in any aspect of life. The difference is in the courage you have to finally go after it and put in the time, energy and desire to accomplish even beyond your wildest dreams.



Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

The Debate: Should College Be Free?

College, Debate, Education, World

For the past few years the debate of whether college is to expensive has been highly publicized and scrutinize. There have been many different viewpoints, ideas and suggestions to fix the “education problem” our society has. Many politicians have spoken out that “college should be free for everyone”. Many people have passionate views on the matter. Maybe you’re one of them. But this question deserves a bit more than a simple yes or no answer. It deserves an open mind and a balanced examination of the potential benefits, drawbacks, and alternatives.


Why College Should Be Free for Everyone

 Advocates of free college believe that it would benefit the entire nation, not just the individual students who take advantage of it. They see it as both a private and public benefit. Subsequently, by making college more accessible and with more of today’s jobs are knowledge-based or require advanced technical skills. A better-educated workforce would help fill many of the skills gaps that prevent today’s economy from growing faster. Also since more people who would be able to attain employer-desired credentials, more people would be able to take the good-paying jobs that often go unfilled. This could result in billions of additional dollars circulating throughout the economy since people tend to spend more money when they have higher incomes and little or no debt. It could also mean that the government would take in a lot of extra tax revenues, which could go a long way toward paying for free public colleges. Nonetheless the topic of why college should be free isn’t just an economic one. It’s also a moral and philosophical one as well. Do we want every American, regardless of social standing, to have an equal opportunity to reach his or her potential? That’s what this country is supposed to be about some would suggest, yet social mobility has been eroding for the poor and middle class. And without easy and affordable access to quality higher education for everyone, the collective intelligence and goodwill of the nation could also erode. America might become even more socially divided.


Why College Shouldn’t Be Free For Everybody

 Opponents of free college tend to believe that such an idea would simply be too costly for the federal and state governments to maintain long-term. As a result, Americans may have to start paying much higher taxes. And that, they say, “could hurt the economy since people might have less to spend or invest”. Many of these opponents are especially against the idea of making community colleges tuition-free. They point to national statistics indicating that public community colleges are often dead ends for students. For example, according to U.S. Department of Education only about 20 percent of first-time, full-time students at public two-year colleges earn associate’s degrees, diplomas, or certificates within three years of starting. Then they state that only 15 percent of them go on to earn bachelor’s degrees within six years. In comparison, 54 percent of students at private, non-profit two-year schools—and 63 percent of students at private, for-profit two-years schools—Graduate within three years. Here are three more reasons why college shouldn’t be free.

  1. Colleges and universities might become less worried about wasteful spending since they won’t have to compete with other schools on cost. And that could strain public budgets even further.
  2. Students would still have to borrow money for their living costs as well as for books and supplies. So they wouldn’t get to leave school completely debt-free.
  3. If a lot more people are able to earn college degrees, then the value of those degrees could decrease. And that could lead to a rising number of workers who are underemployed based on their education.

Final Thoughts

College affordability is among the top concerns for parents, former and current college students. When the cost of attending college, university, or trade school is too high, a lot of students simply choose not to pursue a higher education. Therefore consequently leaves many of them ill-equipped to find good employment, let alone attain the “American dream”. But high costs also leave some college graduates with levels of debt that hamper their abilities to attain at least a middle-class lifestyle. Some may argue why go to college just learn everything you need to know by reading books and the internet. So this brings up the bigger picture question should college be free and is attaining a college degree even worth it in today’s society? Comment below & if you liked this post don’t forget to please share!



Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.



Law Of Attraction: Real Or Myth?

Life, Relationships

The law of attraction is a belief based on the “like attracts like” theory. It states that if someone concentrations on negative and positive thoughts, both negative and positive results can be attained. There has been a lot of media attention to this theory of Law of Attraction. I have recently done some research on this topic so I can truly understand it. I am a believer in “our thoughts become things” so I found this theory interesting and thought-provoking. According to a lot of teachers of the Law of Attraction it’s nearly that easy. I tend to agree with this philosophy because once we change our thoughts we truly can attract positive energy in our life. I have also found a lot information about the myths about the law and how it can be misleading. So today I will share some realities and myths of the Law of Attraction.



1. The Law of Attraction is the law by which the universe responds to the thoughts and feelings that we put out into it is exactly the same for everyone. The Law of Attraction doesn’t just literally drop stuff in your lap. It brings you meetings with just the right people at the right time, brilliant ideas and coincidences. It’s your job to pay attention to those ideas, follow your hunches and recognize the coincidences.

2. Visualization is an important tool used to train yourself to create what you want. It isn’t the visualization that creates, though. You create through the vibration that you offer. The vibration you offer is determined by the thoughts you habitually think (beliefs). Visualization can help you to retrain your thoughts.

3. There is nothing you have to do, or in fact can do to make the Law of Attraction work. Just as there is nothing you have to do or can do to make the stars come out at night actually come out It just does. That’s why it’s called a law you generate your own reality. All of it. All the time. You can’t help it. You have the control to change everything you see around you, every person in your life, everything in your reality.



1. The Law Of Attraction Is ‘Magical’
With everybody’s eyes slowly being opened to the vast and limitless potential that lies in front of them, it is no wonder that for some, the law of attraction and the possibilities that it offers seem like some form of “magic”. The law of attraction isn’t a case of simply wanting something and it falling into your lap as a result of just positive thinking. Instead, it is about keeping your mind open to positivity and having faith in the universe to provide you with what you want most in life. The law of attraction is no wishing-well or form of witch craft, but alternatively, a way of opening your eyes to the very best aspects in life.

2. Teaches To Care Yourself & Nobody Else
Basically, when people begin to learn more about the law of attraction they are often left open-mouthed, jumbled or confused when they come to the realization that they are being taught to be a bit more selfish. However, if learning how to prevent the moods of others from affecting your well-being is selfish, then everybody ought to try it a little more often especially for the sake of their bodies.

3. The Law Of Attraction Is New
It is a generally held misbelief that the law of attraction is some new self-help effort to have only recently been bought to our attention. However, this couldn’t be any further from the truth it’s been around since the beginning of time. It can be argued that it’s one of the oldest law in the Universe.


The Law of Attraction plays a very important role in manifesting desires, but it is only one part of the thought manifestation process. If you understand that everything existing in the material or external world is made of only energy, you may realize that focusing your energy or thought toward something you desire can help manifest it into reality. Comment below & if you like this post please share!



Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.