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Love is Blind?

Life, Love, Relationships

“Love is blind… we all have been played once”

This quote was written by a great philosopher that stated that love is blinding, because it’s hard to see clearly when you’re in love. Many times love is seen as a powerful pleasure or deep pain depending on what side we fall on can change our perception of love.  Love can give us the feeling that even money cannot buy or cause us pain that can seem never ending.  No matter our age or experience love is always a topic that we all are still trying understand and figure out.

‘Love is Blind’

Majority of the time when someone says love is blind they usually mean when we are in midst of deep love and think everything our partner does is right. Many times we tend to be blinded to the behavior or negative traits that differ from our idealized image of the person we are involved with. We often love the idealized object rather than the real one. Are we then blind when we fall in love and when we maintain it?

Clear Eyes

In a large number of cases we tend to fall in love with our ideal version of our partner. Instead of what they really are because often we tend to be in love with idea of being in love. This can cause us not to have clear eyes when it comes to the validity of our relationship. Therefore these illusions are in fact a major part in our view of love.

 

The complex nature of love and the fact that lovers are often unwilling to face reality, self-deception and mistakes are likely to occur. Have you ever been blinded by love unrelenting light? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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Cut Out The Empty Noise: Focus On Yourself

Goals, Life, Motivation

Often times in life we go through unforeseen paths, crossroads and adjustment periods where we can get bogged down and confused on where our life is headed. This can be caused by countless number of things i.e. friends, family, career decisions or maybe even crossroads that come in our life. Focusing on ourselves can be difficult at times when we are going through life obstacles.

First Things First: Time Management

Lets, think about how many hours we spend online every day. There’s a host of ways that we can spend our time online i.e. Social media, YouTube, online magazines/articles, shopping and numerous other things that can distract us. Then we have to take some time to think about does any of these sites add any value to our lives. If not we should limit some of our time spent on these fun but sometimes distracting activities. This can benefit us in the long run by using our time more wisely on these that can improve or enhance our lives.

Plan Your ‘Perfect Day’

When you have a day that you don’t have anything planned ahead of time. Design your perfect day from what you will do when you wake up in the morning. You can choose anything you want there’s no limit you can exercise, relax all day, start working on that business idea you’ve always had or even educate yourself by reading a book you seem to never have the time to crack open. Many times we cannot take a whole day to just do whatever we want. So often times we have to find time to do the things we really want to do. One of the easiest things to cut back on is the time we spend watching TV, YouTube videos or on social media.

Final Thoughts

Once we cut out the empty noise in our lives we make time to make our goals, dreams or passions a reality. Stick to your guns and don’t fall victim to the “empty noise” in life. Do you have trouble finding free time to do things you enjoy most? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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Finding Yourself V.S Creating Yourself

Debate, Life

For many years the concept of finding yourself versus creating yourself has been a topic of discussion.  This concept comes from a famous quote by author George Bernard Shaw “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating you”.

Finding Yourself

Many times when the topic of finding yourself is usually referenced to a “young person” just beginning their life’s journey to find their purpose, or when an older person puns about what their plans are once they “grow up.” Finding yourself suggests you are lost, confused or in a chaotic state. Often times we let the world or other influences dictate our path. This can become problematic when most of the narrative about finding yourself turns negative once we reach a certain age. This happens when society looks at us as a failure or as if we have underachieved in our lives.

Creating Yourself

Instead, many may argue that we should never “find ourselves” but we should always be creating ourselves. Most aficionados of this topic suggest that we can never create ourselves until we start to experiment uncharted territory, take risk and step out of our comfort-zone. Once we stop our “guided tours”, and start dictating where are life is headed. Which may truly help us “create” ourselves versus finding ourselves. Often times we ignore our inner thoughts to do something unlike the norm and go in a way that our heart leads us to follow our dreams and desires rather than take the safe route or easier road. These moments usually happen when we are at a crossroad or tough decisions that occur in our lives. Whatever choice we make can have a huge impact on our life.

Finding Yourself V.S Creating Yourself

When we were kids we instinctively leaned in the direction of creation. We made mud pies, finger painting and creating a whole plot-line story to play while we explored outside. We were chronicling our own course, creating something new, and finding out more about ourselves without even realizing it. This is often not the case once we reach adulthood because we have factors such as bills, life choices, families, fear of failure and different factors that don’t allow us the options to “go in the world and explore”.

Final Thoughts

It’s not easy and it’s not comfortable to create or find ourselves. Either one has it challenges and downsides but in the end it is our life and our decision. Many times we let what other people’s think change or alter what we really want to do in our life. We have decided what our path we will be and what journey we will take to achieve this. So do you spend your time trying to create yourself or find yourself? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

 

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Surround YourSelf With Greatness

Greatness, Life, Motivation

Majority of successful people and life aficionados often say one of the keys to their success was they aligned themselves with other people who are like-minded, intelligent and striving for greatness. With surrounding ourselves with other great people it gives us a better chance to achieve greatness within ourselves.

Surrounding Yourself With Greatness

This may seem somewhat “better said than done”, because often times we might not know any “great” people or anyone striving to be great. But surrounding ourselves doesn’t always mean having a personal relationship with someone who is deemed to be great. If you see  someone who is doing whatever you want to do whether on TV, social media or through networking. You can follow their path to help you in your process to learn and gain inspiration. For example I look up to several different writers, but one that has always stand out to me is  Demetria Lucas her passion and drive has always been a great inspiration to me.

Looking For ‘Mentors’ is Not The Only Option

Sometimes we look for mentors and people to help us succeed in life, but if that is not an available option looking to someone for advice or inspiration can be done without every meeting them. A friend of mind  gave me some great advice once “You can’t focus on who won’t help you…you can only focus yourself and people will gravitate to you once you’re on  the path to success”. This can be a difficult concept to grasp, because many times we look for others to gives us that validity or help to take the next step toward our success.

Final Thoughts

Surrounding ourselves around greatness is awesome if we could find that person or group of people. Often times this is not the case it can be difficult to find. I would like to encourage anyone reading this that may have reach out someone and didn’t get a response or is still waiting. Keep pushing forward and continue to be positive because there are many success people out there who will would to help you  in your path to greatness. Do you surround yourself with greatness was it difficult to do so? Comment below and if you like this post please share!

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

 

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Respect Earned or Given?

Debate, Life

A few weeks ago I was having a meeting with a business partner of mine. When my skills were challenged and downright nullified to point where I felt somewhat disrespected. This has been an issue that has come up in the past, because in the career path I want to go into majority of my counterparts have vast more experience than myself. Often times, this can become problematic when it comes to respecting ones ideas or the validity of their opinions. This prompted me to ask the question is respect earned or given?.

What is Respect?

In my experience the meaning of respect is to show admiration to someone no matter of disagreements, age, race or gender. This was taught to me at an early age to “to gain respect you must respect yourself and others”. The word respect can be misconstrued at times meaning that any disagreement or differ in opinion is disrespect. In many cases we can have disagreements and follow the old saying “agree to disagree”. Having respect for other people’s opinion can sometimes be difficult to find in today’s society. Where you can find disrespect commentary on the news, social media and in daily forms of social interaction. For example, the presidential candidates for this upcoming election have proven this narrative to be true. They have established this without shadow of a doubt by going back and forth using rude and occasionally crude depictions, words and Television ads to thoroughly disrespect one another.

For What is Not Earned is Not Respected

Many may argue that respect is not given and you have to “work for my respect”. This idea is based on the show me mentality. Often times in today’s society we tend to tune out anyone who differs in opinions, views or morals from ourselves. This narrative has shown to be true in certain situation i.e. the workplace, social debates or disagreements. A news topic that has seen a great deal of news coverage over past week or so is Colin Kaepernick stand for injustice in America. He’s stand or rather sit has been a topic of debate ranging from news outlets, social media and water coolers across the United States. This conservation has some feeling disrespected for sharing their own opinions. This has caused an heavy wave of disrespectful and sometimes misplaced hate to one another.

Final Thought’s

Having respect for someone is not a law, but rather as my mother would say “the right thing to do”. In a time as we are in today where there is more hate and negativity than positivity in the world. Having respect for one another is vital to help change the narrative and spread positivity. We must examine ourselves and ask do we truly want our opinion, views and ideas to be respected even if disagreed upon. Do you believe respect is earned or given? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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What’s Your ‘Bigger Picture’?

Life, Motivation, Success

During the daily grind of life paying bills, working a job or pursing your passion. We can lose sight of our “bigger picture”, because of other factors in life i.e. self-doubt, bills and just life obstacles. This is one of the main reasons why keeping our focus is crucial to long term success. For this process to be smooth we have to know exactly what are bigger picture is.

‘Bigger Picture’

The bigger picture just simply means what is your ultimate or end game to whatever you are doing now. For example, I write every day to improve to my writing skills to one day to become a published author. Having a bigger picture is key to long term success without one we can lose focus and lack direction on the path our life is heading.

 

Finding Your ‘Bigger Picture’

Finding out our bigger picture can be challenging and sometimes overwhelming. Sometimes it seems impossible to see the bigger picture because we are too focused on our current situation. But if we take a step back and take some time to actually think and reflect. Take this time to find clarity and ease in your bigger picture. Once you’ve found out that there’s a purpose for what we are currently going through it will make it easier to keep pushing for your bigger picture.

 

So what is your bigger picture? Can you really see it or are to concerned with your current situation? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

 

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

 

 

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Be Who You Are: Live Your Dreams

Dreams, Life, Motivation

Are you living your dreams? This may be a difficult question to answer, because actually following our dreams is usually better said than done.  One of the first steps to follow our dreams is to be ourselves. Many times we live our life for what other people expect us to be. Once we are true to ourselves we can take that next step to go after what we really want in life.

Taking a ‘Risk’

Now some may say that following our dreams is a “risk” and they are right. Nonetheless if we never take any risk and choose to live our life in the “status quo”. Then we have to ask ourselves will we ever be truly happy. In my own experience I used to settle in life my mindset was “just go with the flow” not really having a plan or goals for my life. Until I realize I had been lying to myself for years about my true passion and what I really wanted in life. So once I stopped living my life for what my friends, family and college advisers thought I should do. Then I started to live my life for me and truly follow my heart and be the only thing I could be myself. So today I will share five ways to be yourself and live your dreams.

  1. Be Honest :

It can be difficult to admit who we really, what we really want and what we truly want from life. This may sound simple but being honest with ourselves can quite terrifying .  One of the first steps we should do when starting to be honest is say it out loud at the top of your lungs. This can help relieve some unnecessary stress you may have about your dreams.

 

  1. Understand We Have Choices:

Life is full of choices that we are constantly forced to make and live with. Once we understand that we do have control over our own path in life and can choose what direction our life is headed.

 

  1. Stop Listening to The ‘Naysayers’:

Anytime we have an idea, dream or passion that is not the “norm” or something some people would expect from us. There will always be doubters or what I like to call “dream killers”. They will try to warn us the cons of following our dreams and that we probably won’t achieve them. This is when we have to stop listening and in many cases distance ourselves from these individuals.

 

  1. Don’t Limit Yourself:

Often times we limit ourselves, because we think we aren’t  equipped with the necessary requirements to attain what we want in life. But a wise man once “everything you need to be successful is already inside of you…it’s just your choice to go deep inside yourself to get it out”. Anything is possible if we stop limiting ourselves .

 

  1. Put Your Plan into Action:

Once you write a plan down start today and take the next step to make your dreams a reality. This step is essential to making our dreams happen, because without a plan we just have what I like to call “wishful dreams”.

 

Sometimes we can get bogged down with other people’s expectation of our own life we forget that this our life and we only have one chance to live it. So why not be ourselves and live our dreams and passions. Instead of doing what everyone  expects us to do or thinks we can do. I want to encourage every reading this to take a step back and think about their own life and ask yourselves “am I  truly being who I really am deep inside of my heart or am I letting other factors dictate my path in life”? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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Compromise vs Collapse

Life, Love, Relationships

Compromising is something we all have to do in many aspects of our lives. Compromises with life, career, family, goals, friends, relationships, life choices and countless number of other things are sometimes required in our daily lives. However often times we can get to the point of collapse where we loose ourselves and sometimes over compromise.  This can be problematic when it comes to relationships. A few months ago I was invited to a panel discussion on today’s relationship climate and some of the challenges with dating. One of the topics that was touched on was compromising and how it can impact a relationship. This prompted me to ask the question when does compromise turn into collapse?

What is Compromise?

For many people in relationships compromise is an easy thing to do i.e.what restaurants you all  like to attend, what movies to go see or maybe even to turn the TV down while the other person is on the phone. These compromises do not threaten our core requirements, wants, and deepest desires and the reasons why we got into a relationship in the beginning.  In every relationship we all have differences but sometimes it can cause disagreements, arguments and sometimes causing the end of the relationship. Compromise is great in small doses, often necessary to smooth over a few rough edges of an otherwise smoothly functioning relationship. The problem occurs when we start compromising  essential elements of who we are is when the cracks and leaks in the foundation of relationship start to expose itself.

What is Collapse?

Collapse only comes when we are in relationships that requires us to change who we are, what  we do, the very thing that describes us as a person. This is when it can become tricky and many times can ruin a relationship. The goal for anyone looking for companionship is to find that “special someone” who makes them happy and are compatible with their personalities, character and morals.  This is not to say that we will find some absolutely perfect, but we can have someone who is “right for us”.

Final Thoughts

In a healthy relationship we should sustain who each partner is and allow each person to grow and work together to meet his or her needs. This may seem obvious, but it is hard to keep this in mind while entranced by the unmatched bliss of a new love, when you’re willing to give up anything and everything to be with the other person and you don’t appreciate the costs of what you’re giving up. Have you every compromise before what were some of the things you compromised was it worth it? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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Stay Focused: Working Towards Your Goals

Goals, Life, Motivation

Do you remember your new year’s resolutions you set at the beginning of this year?

We all know staying focus on our goals can be difficult after the initial excitement is gone. When we first write down our goals and dreams we are filled with joy and optimism. But when we are overwhelmed with obstacles, boredom or just lack of focus continuing going after said goal can be challenging.  Here are seven ways to stay focused on your goals.

 

  1. Simplify Your Goals:

Sometimes we have very in-depth goals it can become difficult to stay focus on our goals. When we have massive goals the road can be long and may be quite some time till we will see a reward for our efforts. When we take on a goal the first step we need to do is give ourselves a “pep talk”. Reassuring ourselves that we will feel rewarded at the end of our pursuit is like driving with no fuel.

 

  1. Value Success:

Sometimes when we are so focused on a specific goal, and don’t take the time to be thankful for all the smaller success we have on the road to our ultimate goal.

 

  1. Learn to Say No:

One of the major issues that many of us face while trying to make our dreams a reality is the ability to say “no” to disturbances. For example, have you ever put off working toward your goal for something else that came out of nowhere? Many times it may just be a simply text message, call, social media notification or our favorite TV show does the job of delaying us from our goals.

 

  1. Write Down Your Goals:

To help us focus on our goals writing them down or create a vision board will assist in training our mind to think more about our goals and actually achieving them. Also our brain thinks in terms of images so, if you choose the right pictures, it will serve as both an enjoyable and effective method to stay focused on your goals.

 

  1. Support System:

This is one of the most overlooked steps to focusing on our goals. When we have a support of people or one person who checks on our progress and helps us keep on track. Without a support system it can be easy to get off track and stop pursing our goal. In the case we do not have a support system we can reach out to people who are like-minded and are also on the road to greatness.

  1. Have A Positive Mindset:

Once we change our mindset from “I can’t, I won’t”. To “I can, I will” this simple change can make all the difference when pursing our goals.

 

  1. Enjoy The Process:

If you don’t enjoy the process, then it will get overwhelming and the likelihood is that you will quit. On the other hand, if you love the process it makes the road to achieving your goals easier.

 

We all have it within us to find the willpower for continued goal or dream pursuit. Think of how you learned how to drive as a teenager or young adult. Whether you experience failure or disappointment you stayed present in the moment and in your singular focus on the task at hand. You just focused on your goal in the distance, an infectious desire that garnered support and the relentless urge to get there, one step at a time.  What are your goals and what ways do stay focus on the road to success? Comment Below & if you liked the post please share!

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

 

 

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More Money, More Problems?

Business, Life, Success

The concept “more money more problems” has been publicized in the media for years. Many people believe money can solve all their problems. In today’s money hungry materialistic society money has become looked at in such high regard, because you need it for pretty much everything. So this brings up the question does having more money equivalent more or less problems?

More Money Less Problems

If you’re like me and do not have tons of money and sometimes struggle to pay your bills each month. It may be unreasonable for us to have any compassion for the problems that some wealthier people face. In most of our eyes having large sums of income coming in every week be life changing. In generally most people would assume that having money would solve majority of their problems. How many people would love to have the money to pay their mortgage payment, car payment or credit card statements? The idea that having money would somehow cause us more problems may seem far-fetched.

The Reality of Money

We all know that in order to live a healthy and prosperous life that you need some type of constant income. The question is how much do you really need or want to live the lifestyle you want. This can become problematic because having money is great until we realize that having “more money” can bring up issues that we may not have preconceived we would have to face. Such as envy, hate, jealousy, more expenses i.e. bills and the responsibility that having a lot of money comes with. These problems might seem small and insufficient to someone who doesn’t have very much money.  The rich have problems just different kind that might not be upon the minds of people with a couple less zeros behind their paycheck.

Final Thoughts

Money cannot solve all our problems or remove every worry, but it does have the power to reduce stress in tough times while providing opportunity in good times. In the end money is necessary and with more of it we can have some of our stress alleviated. What do you think if you have more money would you have less problems? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.