Being our true self can be overwhelming at times in a society that is often overly judgmental. For many of us we’re taught that certain behaviors and ways are the best way of doing things, and expected for us to do. Therefore, when we don’t live up to these expectations, we might be judged, ashamed or criticized for our actions. This causes us to learn to behave and act as we’re “supposed to” and we hide our true self and wear an invisible mask to be expected. Essentially, we learn what it takes to protect ourselves from the hurt and pain that can be caused by being an authentic and true to ourselves. This is such a common occurrence that many times we don’t even realize that we have been suppressing our identity.
Take off the Mask
Hiding behind societal norms can follow us as we transition into adulthood and navigate through life. However, for some of us it comes to a point where we are fed up of being unhappy and trying live up to the expectation that society or our family has for us. We decide at this moment to start being our true-self and take off the mask. This sudden change can be caused by what I like to call a “game changer”. Simply put, a game changer is when a significant event happens in our life that changes our life’s trajectory. When this happens it usually caused us to put our life in perspective and realize that it’s okay to be ourselves and live our life the way we see fit.
Here are three methods to help anyone identify your true self and help make the transition to live life as your true-self.
- Give Yourself the Freedom to be You:
Giving yourself the freedom to be you by letting go of comparisons, labels, status, criticisms, cynicism, etc., will empower who you are within and give you the courage to actualize. It will also allow you to accept your uniqueness and individuality, regardless of whether or not you have any kind of support when becoming who you know you really are.
- Make Changes:
Trusting yourself is a necessity in becoming your true-self. There will be moments when we’re standing out in a crowd or going against the norm, because we might be following our dreams. In those moments, trusting ourselves will give us the willpower and the courage, along with anything else you might need, to continue pursuing what is in our heart.
- Set Yourself Up for Success:
Setting yourself up for success and approaching this transition, and everything else you might come across in life, with a successful outlook will set you up for exactly that. It will help us adapt an optimistic attitude and help you become a person who always finds a solution instead of a person who makes excuses. Expecting success also allows you to follow your happiness, which is fully aligned with your true self. And when you are aligned with your true self, you naturally do what you need to, to live as your true self.
Final Thoughts
With new year now upon us we often take a longer look at our life and begin to question who we really are and what we want to do with our lives going forward. I want to encourage everyone who is reading this to take a step back from everything i.e. family, friends, job, relationships and ask yourself “who am I”?
Have you ever felt that you don’t know who you are?
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Pingback: Express Your TRUE Self — Jay Colby
I think we all evolve Jay and are works in progress. I know for me I have a basis of what I want and need but you have to be able to adapt and learn too.
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Very true. Thanks for reading!
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Great post!
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Thank you!
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So true Jay. In my growing, I have learned to be myself and not try to be what others want me to be.
I now grow each day in a way that is for me and not what others want me to be. Others may think my goals are odd, unreachable, or just plain dumb, but I choose to focus on what I enjoy and have a passion for, despite what others think.
This undoubtingly is what many people need to see and hear. When was your moment of realization? The moment you understood to focus pain on something else and being your true self?
-Parker
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Completely agree.Thanks for sharing!
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This is exactly true. Whatever we do, people around us will always have something to say ( good or bad ) about us. Thanks for this post Jay!
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Thanks for reading!
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Another great post Jay. So important to be respectful, honest, loving and open, not pretending to be what we are not. who we are and not.
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Thanks for reading!
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I wish that it was easy to find the courage to take off the mask. Thanks for pointing out how to do it.
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Thanks for reading!
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You are welcome!
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I struggle a lot with having the hold of my own life, I feel like I may try to make things happen according to my personality but people around me end up manipulating my life in their favour, and so I get pushed aside in my own life. Every time I read something like your post I feel like I have strength to change that, but then I realize that for that I need to push away those people (and the problem is those people are my family!)
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Couple years ago husband and I were living life and thought we were enjoying everything. Cancer struck. Talk about a game changer. New we truly know what life is all about and more true to ourselves and out there really enjoying every moment.
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I lost myself when I had to concentrate on the last part of my Bachelor’s and my Master’s. Only within the last year or so, have I started to be ME again. I’ve taken to writing on my notebooks “Remember who you wanted to be” as encouragement to by me.
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I have a feeling that 2017 will be a year of great change for those who wish to go there and dig deep.
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Absolutely I’m looking forward to all the great things in 2017!
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Reblogged this on Sunshine For Eve and commented:
This is something I have had to deal with all my life and still am trying to have the courage to really be who I am because the environment always favours something else than what I really feel I am. I think this problem costed me a relationship I really thought was the one I had been searching for. So this is serious stuff.
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Freedom to be me is something I discovered far too late in life. Now that I have it I am determined to never give it up or minimize it for the sake of others. I am who I am and those who are meant to love me – will.
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So true! We have to be true to ourselves.
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I’ve always been a rather open book, but when I was younger I hit some things I should have been very vocal about. Once I was able to come to terms with myself and then others it took the weight off of my shoulders. These days I’m much older and wiser and I have no problem being my authentic self. I wish my younger self understood that much earlier.
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I love when you discuss making changes. I think that we typically aren’t a fan of changes but it’s important not to look at them negatively. Instead we have to embrace analyzing ourselves and letting go of things in our character that don’t better or advance us.
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I Love this post
You said a number of things I need to hear right now
We tend to judge ourselves even before society judges us because we are scared of going against the norm
But its ok to do so if it will help you find your true self.
Thanks for such a lovely post Jay😊
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I think that I am just now figuring this part out – figuring it out and then working on it to make it the reality is the challenge at times!
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I’ve always lived by this. I am never afraid to be who I am and express who I am. Definitely works for more honest relationships across the board.
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I think its very important to be yourself. People may think they know who they are at age 30 and above. Its important to realize that you are always involving into yourself and that is ok. You don’t have to have everything figured out.
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