There have been numerous articles, books and debates about whether all romantic relationships should lead to marriage. Each induvial looks at marriage and relationships differently depending on socioeconomic background, religion or instilled importance of marriage from their family. While in some cases especially since the turn of the 21st Century some prefer commitment in a non-traditional way. Willing to forgo marriage and stick to a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship dynamic. Although the mainstream media, societal norms and popular opinion still portrays marriage as the “next big step” in becoming an adult. Some people are challenging this ideology of the ultimate goal of a relationship. Consequently, this has prompted me to ask the question should marriage be a goal?
Is the Practice of Unwed Cohabitation Hurting the Institution of Marriage?
With the rise, of unmarried couples living together some would suggest that this is one the main attacks of marriage. According to the 2012 U.S Census there are 112 million unmarried people over age 18 living with their significant other. Thus, representing nearly 47% of all adult relationships in 2012 and reportedly has risen to over 53%. Most experts point out that most couples live with each other, because they like to and because they want to. They point out that the importance of having the approval from parental figures or society has lessen over time. Citing that most adults especially young adults don’t see the need that they need their parent’s approval on life decisions. Which had played a major factor from stopping young adults from moving in with each other before marriage. For some people the stigma of having sexual relations without a title is an intolerable act. Thus, playing into the rush to have or be in a committed relationship.
Does Marriage Always Have to Be the End Goal?
In today’s society, we often see images of marriage in the media on a daily basis. Which can influence us to believe that marriage is the right of passage for every relationship. Even as child growing up in America there are social cues that gives children the impression that as an adult you should be married. These cues are often subtle and indirect for the average person to recognize or acknowledge. Thus, implementing the social construct that marriage is a natural occurrence for adults over the age of 27-28 for men and 25 and older for women. This impression is often reinforced by religion and spiritual beliefs that permits sex before marriage. There is an overwhelming norm in America that marriage is secondary while falling in love with the “right person” is primary. Rushing into the first phase can often lead to heartbreak, because of societal pressures to be married. Working on your relationship and building a stronger form of commitment should come first before marriage.
Final Thoughts
In the end, there’s nothing wrong with daydreaming about marriage and looking forward to the big day. The social construct of marriage being a goal is a subjective point-of-view that will differ from person to person. Making our own definition of love and what that means to us is key. What do you think should marriage be a goal? Comment below & if you enjoyed this post please don’t hesitate to share, like or comment!
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Leaving religion out of it, this can be tricky. On the one hand, over the years as people have drifted from marriage into just living together, we’ve also seen more ‘break ups’. Living together doesn’t require the same commitment, so it is easier to walk away. True, in some cases, in ‘the old days’, people stayed in bad marriages due to the social stigma of divorce, but there were also cases where having to stay meant they worked through the problems and overcame them, and then their marriage prospered again. Living together doesn’t provide the incentive to do that, and unfortunately, while people could choose to do it without the incentive, far too many don’t. ‘This is hard’ and they walk away. But marriage doesn’t guarantee anything either. The divorce courts are full and divorce lawyers are raking in the dough.
So maybe the goal needs to be commitment, and determination to work at the relationship, through thick and thin. With or without a marriage certificate, if you don’t have commitment and determination, you’re probably just wasting time and money.
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Great insight you’ve really shared some great insight. I agree in today’s society having the want to actually on our relationship is important to making it work. Thanks for reading!
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I do not. I think a relationship should be the goal, and if you choose to get married, then so be it. By the way, you always have very interesting relationship topics that I’m happy to read.
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Great insight and thank you I try to be creative with my topics!
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Marriage should be something to think about and encourage with a particular partner, especially those in which you see yourself pursuing a long term relationship…with children, homes, assets. A lot of people state you can get these things and not be married, true…but as someone who is married and often wondered what the differences would be….there’s something almost sacred and magicsl about it. Even if you dont anything huge like we did with 4 people and a judge, the act of seeing your names pressed together like buttcheeks in tight pants is thrilling. The face my hubby made when I got my name changed was memorable. It’s like physically becoming as together as you possibly could without morphing into one being. Yeah, they could leave, take your things and it would be a larger headache…but it’s certainly something to look forward to. Not obsess about, but consider and pursue if the appropriate suiter pops up.
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Great insight from someone who is married. This conservation for many people because they’re scared of it not working out. Thank you for sharing!
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I think marriage is very overrated. People should get married because they want to and not because they have to
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personally, marriage is never a goal but being with someone you love and nurturing it is the goal….will u love a person less or more because of marriage, i will always love my partner with or without it…www.crayonized.com
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To each their own. I like the legal security of marriage, but marriage is not for everyone — nor does it need to be. A legal document does not a happy family make.
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I think it depends on the way you are. For example, if you’re a spiritual kind of person and religious, I think it might very important to marry, and you see this as a true goal. If you’re not that religious, or even atheist, the goal is to have a “paper” that makes you more insecure (for example, if you’re planning to have kids and such). It will always depend on your values, insecurities and such. Maybe you just want to live with your SO and you’re more than happy about it without any kind of marriage fuss 🙂
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Interesting topic! I don’t think marriage is purely a social construct it’s more spiritual for me. Mine is an arranged marriage and love happened slowly and magically with the commitment and caring that ensued into the relationship. I don’t think the bond would be the same without the sacred commitment and the acceptance of parents on both sides. But this is my individual opinion and from someone who is very emotional and sensitive to my near and dear.
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I love being married to my hubby but if we didn’t want to go there we would have just lived together. We are cool that way 😉
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I don’t think. I think the happy body of the item is the item. It works at all the job in life. Thanks!
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