For many of us finding a suitable work-life balance is already difficult having a 9 to 5, but if we’re pursuing a dream or passion on the side it can seem impossible. Which can sometimes require us to spend our nights, weekends and any free time working towards our ultimate goal. This bring up the age-old question are relationships distractions from achieving our dreams?
Often times people say “you make time for what you really want” which is a true statement in ever since of the word. However, what if your main goal in life is to be successful in whatever you do and a relationship is not on that list. According to social norms if you’re not in a relationship by certain age you may be looked at as a social outcast. Then many people ask themselves “Why should I sacrifice my time or maybe even my career for someone who more than likely will be temporary… like a summer job while you’re in college?”
Love V.S Goals
For many of us love is on the forefront of our mind, we may have goals to be married, have children and build a life with someone. However, some would suggest its more advantageous to build a life for ourselves first in today’s society where relationships come and go. We’ve all met people who were only in our life for a season and were not meant to be around for the long haul. Which may have affected our opinion of love and when it should be pursued. Therefore, finding love can be somewhat daunting in 2017 where many people are afraid of being hurt and left high and dry.
The other day I was having a conversation with one of my colleague when the topic of balancing a relationship and our career aspirations was brought up. One thing he said really stood out to me “I’m too busy going after my goals in life to be in a relationship.” To him, his goals outweighed the possibility of finding someone that could slow his progress down. He contended that a relationship would certainly put him at a disadvantage and could potentially distract him from his ultimate goals.
Now some people view this train of thought as pessimistic and a coping mechanism to protect one’s heart from rejection and potential heartbreak. Which for some of us we’ve went through a few times in our lives. Which affects are willingness to open our hearts to someone new who could potentially cause us the same pain we felt in the past. For this reason, many people are deciding to wait until they’ve reached a certain level of success, before pursuing an intimate relationship.
The Right Relationship
Often times we forget about how much the right person can be an asset to us while pursing our dreams. This person will understand our grind and will not only support our vision, but truly believe in it as if it was their own. Although this person may be difficult to find the energy they bring to our lives is truly irreplaceable. Spending time with the right people will help us thrive in our goals and may even assist in getting to our preferred destination quicker.
There’s no secret that if we’re perfecting our craft we need lots of space to be creative and put time into our dream. This is one the main issues that entrepreneurs, artist and anyone pursing their dreams encounter in their relationships. Thus, being with someone requires lots of attention and time can become problematic. Which causes the end to many relationships, but someone who is truly understanding of our time will understand and provide us with the necessary space we need to create.
However, the wrong relationship can also be damaging and tremendously slow down our pursuit of achieving our goals. From my experience, I’ve been in a relationship where my partner supported me but never truly believed in me. Thus, causing the end of our relationship, but it taught me an important lesson no matter how much someone says they love you. If they can’t truly believe in your vision they’re not the one for you.
Chasing a dream can be an exciting, overwhelming and a time-consuming point in our lives. Therefore, adding another person to this equation can seem somewhat of a waste of time and energy. Having time for careless time wasting activities, time to go out and go with the flow without having any time constraints can seem pointless. However, we have to consider that prioritization can afford us with more free time and give us the opportunity to become more productive.
What are your thoughts?
If given an ultimatum in your 20’s between pursuing your dream, which you might not achieve, or staying in a (so far) good relationship, which might not last, what would you choose and why?
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