Can You Truly Love Someone & Cheat on Them?

Cheating and infidelity usually are the downfall of a healthy monogamous relationship, but does cheating end a relationship?

The age-old question can you truly love someone if you cheat on them? There are so may viewpoints towards this question. Therefore, I did some research and found out a few of interesting facts.

  • According to research studies only about 25% of men and 14% of women cheat in a lifetime.
  • It is estimated that roughly 30% to 60% of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage. However, the number one cause of divorce in the U.S is basic incompatibility.
  • In the past, the contention was that men were more likely to cheat than women, but in the past twenty years’ women have become more independent. Which has led to more woman who are willing to step out of their relationship.


After reading these statistics it made me want to do some more digging on this subject. Therefore, I did two separate surveys via social media and face to face interaction. I received over 400 + answers to the question “Can you truly love someone and cheat on them”? About 60% of people said no you cannot cheat on someone if you truly love them.  25% said you could cheat on someone and truly love them and 15% said you can truly love someone and cheat on them if they cheated first.

What are your thoughts? Do you think if you truly love someone you could cheat on them? Let me know in the comments & if you liked this post please share!

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About Jay Colby

Some would categorize me as an entrepreneur, life coach, son, friend and all of the above. I’m just another person trying to find my way in this world. Until recently, I was unsure what my path in this life would consist of. Like many others I was between I know what I want to do but not sure if that’s what I’m supposed to do. I am currently finishing my degree in something that has nothing to do with becoming a writer or entrepreneur so automatically it qualifies me to become one right! Follow me as I go through this journey called life to impact and encourage one person at a time.
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94 Responses to Can You Truly Love Someone & Cheat on Them?

  1. Carissa (The Green Eyed Lady) says:

    I believe you can, however, on the other hand I say No, because if you really love someone you would never want to hurt them. Especially not intentionally and no matter how you cheat you are aware of what you are doing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. True love isn’t selfish. It keeps giving. So I would say no.


  3. Becc Smith says:

    Hi Jay. No I do not think you can love someone and cheat on them. Because by cheating you are not considering their feelings and you arent communicating your own.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. LaQuisha Hall says:

    Would be very difficult for me to stay in a relationship with someone if they cheated on me. However, I am completely and totally in love with my husband so I would not really know what I would do unless this actually happened.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. MUAKimPorter says:

    I do not think you can truly love someone and cheat on them. I do not get cheating. I think it’s selfish.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. staciesayzso says:

    Wow, those stats are really interesting! I think it’s possible to love someone and still cheat because love doesn’t stop a person from being selfish. Plus there are usually underlying issues as someone said above. I do not condone cheating though and believe that the marriage bed is sacred!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. cleverlychanging says:

    I honestly don’t know if people who love it other will cheat. I actually think that cheating doesn’t have much to do with love; instead I think it’s more about adventures, thrills, and seeing if you can actually get away with it.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I believe anyone has the potential to cheat, but ultimately it’s a choice. You can choose to stay faithful or choose to be unfaithful. I think the bigger question is “can you respect someone and cheat on them?”

    Liked by 1 person

  9. KenyaRae says:

    While I think it sucks I think it is possible to love someone and cheat. Mistakes happen as we are all human and sometimes do thing our of anger, spite, selfishness or whatever. With that said I don’t know how I would handle all that but it would definitely be hard.


  10. It is possible….I had an emotional affair for over a year…I loved my husband but we were not connecting in so many areas. Thankfully, we worked through it and will be celebrating 18 years next month.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Cheating doesn’t mean you don’t love the other person but it does mean you have made a choice to be selfish and inconsiderate of your partner. My last long term relationship ended because of this and once the trust was broken the amount of love really didn’t matter.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. hmmkiki says:

    Interesting social media response. I’ve seen and heard of parents gen loving someone for real and still cheating. So somehow it can happen.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I dont think people really think about the consequences of cheating until it’s too late, and they often don’t see it as related to their love for someone unless they did it out of spite or because love is truly gone. But, I think a lot of cheating is done to fill a void.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. If we love our spouse with the love God intended, it is not possible to cheat. Cheating is extreme selfishness.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. stephsgrn says:

    This is a great question! A few years ago, I would’ve said absolutely no way! But, I’ve experienced some fairly serious issues within my own marriage and I’ve realized that yes, it can happen. A person can cheat on someone they truly love. There are many reasons why this can occur, and honestly I believe that usually there is some part played by both parties, the cheater and the cheated. Don’t get me wrong, NOT in ALL cases, but it is very possible to become so disconnected with your spouse that the decision to cheat actually doesn’t seem so terrible. In these cases, I believe that the disconnection can come from both sides, as in my own relationship. I don’t think it’s ok, by any means, to cheat.. but I also don’t think it has to be a death sentence to a marriage. I believe if we all took more time to put into our relationships and not ignore them for all of the responsibilities we tend to have, then we could drastically reduce the amount of infidelity.
    Let’s also recognize that cheating means many different things to different people. While the actual “physical” act of cheating was not what happened in my marriage, it was still a huge betrayal and still cheating in my book. Many people feel the same and, honestly, many feel like if they don’t actually have sex with someone else, then it doesn’t count. This difference can cause a huge rift in relationships as well.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. cmwriter says:

    Cheating would be a deal breaker for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. angelspartaness says:

    Super interesting read. Me personally, I agree with the 15%

    Liked by 1 person

  18. pratseek says:

    Cheating can mean different things to different people..
    Most put cheating in realms of having sex with some one else..But really is it that narrow? Women
    specifically are biologically evolved in a different way compare to men..
    Every month women go through ovulation which changes their brain chemistry for two three days and do get hornier. If a woman is in that phase of the month and she happens to be out of town and have sex with some random man who she will not see again i would not define that cheating..
    It in no way means the woman doesn’t love me ..

    Liked by 1 person

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