In today’s society, there are many societal expectations placed on us such as how much money we should make, where we should live, what we should eat and who we should date/marry. Whenever we choose to go outside this narrative and try something completely against social norms. We can sometimes be seen as a social outlier, because we chose a different path.
For example, let’s say growing up you always wanted to go to college and become a nurse. Then in your first semester of college and you’re taking an anatomy class and you realize that it’s not for you. You may want to leave school get a job and forgo getting your education to find your passion in life. However, the social norm is to pick a different major and continue in school, but sometimes we may want to go off of the path others have chosen for us.
Societal Norms
Many times, our friends, family specifically our parents have a vision for our lives that they’ve always imagined for us since we were kids. Maybe they wanted us to go to college be in a certain career, live in a certain neighborhood and get married by a certain age. Although there is nothing wrong with these wants from our parents and society. They might not be our wants and desires, because the beauty about human beings we’re all different. We have different mindsets, motivation, goals and perceptions of life.
Therefore, when we decide to take a different route to get to the ultimate goal of totally happiness which most of us want. Sometimes our family might become unsupportive of our own vision for our lives. Often times this is not intentional on their part, they just want the best for us and don’t want us to experience failures, disappointments and closed doors that we might face if we followed our dreams. On the contrary even if we don’t follow our “dreams” we will still face failures and disappointments because those things are just a part of life.
Reality of a Support System
According to research studies about 80% of people we come in contact with won’t believe in us. Basically, out of 10 people we meet or know 8 won’t believe in us and that’s okay, because we have to always remember it’s not their belief that will take us to where we want to go. Having a support system is great, but spending time worrying about who doesn’t support us is a waste of time. Here are three things to always remember when your family and friends don’t believe in your dreams.
1. Life is short – This may seem a little frightening, but it is the harsh reality we all face. Therefore, if we choose to spend our time worrying about what our friends, family or society feels about OUR lives. We might not ever have the chance to explore our true selves and reach the predestined greatness we all can achieve. Just ask yourself “do you really want to spend your time feeling down over others’ words when in the end, you only have one life to live?”
2. Don’t let the fear of others create your own fear – Friends and family usually have the best intentions in their worry, criticism and dismissive attitude towards our dreams. However, what they might not realize that their placing their fear onto us. This happens for several reasons one being they’re placing their own limiting beliefs that our goals are unattainable, because they know they cannot achieve them. As a wise woman once told me “Never let someone else’s fear become your fear.”
3. You can do this without family support – Yes in everything we do in life we need some type of support. However, this doesn’t necessarily have to come from family a lot of times our biggest supports are people we don’t even know. Therefore, if you’re not getting that support always remember the power in yourself that you can make it without their support. Often times once we show some promise and success they will usually come a long eventually.
What are your thoughts have your friends & family always been supportive to your goals & dreams? Comment below & if you liked this article please share!
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I’m fortunate enough to have a supportive hub and close family who is always there to give me encouragement. I was truly blessed. But I do understand the other opposite points you mentioned.
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Words to live by! Thank you for posting such great words. So many of us think that what others tell us or what they believe in, should be our passion as well. As a society, we tend to “follow the lead” instead of taking our own path. It takes a lot of courage and strength to break this habit! We all want that support but all too often we are headed on the path alone. And yes, you are right. We can do it without anyone having our backs if we believe in ourselves.
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This is really important. As long as you believe in yourself it doesn’t matter what others think. You can only depend on yourself!
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Great post! I have not always had the support of my family…and still don’t. This is good advice.
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I love this article, Jay! When I was in college I struggled with following the path my parents told me was best for me. My dream job was to work in public relations, but they did not agree with it because they didn’t understand it. Unfortunately, I followed the path they said was best. Well, I at least tried to and it just didn’t work out for me. So I ended up following my own path and I am very happy I did! It is so hard to follow your dreams/goals when you do not have family support, but I agree with you – it can be done!
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I really pull away from people who don’t support me, because it can crush my spirit and stop me from growing!! Loved your post!
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Oh yeah – this I totally get. My spouse and kids are totally supportive. Beyond that – not so much. But I have a dream, vision and plan and I don’t let them get in my way.
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This is a great read, especially for people who are in need of support emotionally. I always keep in mind that life is really short, and I am blessed to have a loving husband, family and friends, so I’m just enjoying every single moment.
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Number three has been on my mind lately. Not everyone will believe that you’ll be able to reach your goals in life, and that’s okay. Your number one supporter is yourself. 🙂
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Sometimes this really happens to someone. I am glad I have a very supportive family and a bunch of friends who also supports me. But as long as you have the courage don’t let other people bring you down.
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I have a great support system, and I’m totally blessed to be that lucky to have them. I couldn’t imagine doing half of what I did without it.
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This is such an inspiring post. There is a need to receive encouragement from others but ultimately you have to decide what is best for yourself.
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Yes, to all of this! My ex-husband’s and his family were super unsupportive of my goals and dreams, and it took me several years to get over their comments. I am so happy I was able to ultimately move past their opinions and do what was best for me.
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Well written and so applicable. It is difficult to live your life for others and be happy. Self sacrifice serves it’s purpose and is at times very necessary. If we are in our own safe space we will be able to perceive when and how to do that.
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I agree 100% thanks for reading!
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The mistakes I made were all my own – I wish I had listened to my parents!
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Reblogged this on Jay Colby and commented:
What are your thoughts have your friends & family always been supportive to your goals & dreams?
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This is definitely true. In life, you go after what you want. Some people might think it is impossible or you might not have the support of many people out there but as long as you have belief in yourself and support your own dreams, it is still possible to achieve this?
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Excellent post. The bulk of frustration for many is often created when trying to meet the expectations of others.
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I’m dealing with this a lot right now. When I first got out of high school, the way I was raised, I didn’t realize I had any option but to do what my parents wanted. I forced my way through college for their benefit, even though it didn’t resonate with me. I racked up a ton of loans, and still didn’t end up with a degree (until 6 years later when I decided to return to school for something I was interested in). Now I’m dealing with the aftermath of all that debt, and I’m finding it hard to follow my own passions as I am now inclined to do. The path is harder, but I’m still chugging away. Any little bit of progress helps. I wish I could go back and tell the younger me that it’s ok to stand up for yourself. I’d be in a much better place now if I had. My mom even agrees now that it’s ok not to go to college, but at the time she thought she was doing the right thing for me. Hindsight sure is 20/20. Regardless though, it’s never too late to do what you need to do. My family still doesn’t support some of the things I’m working on and that’s ok. I’m much happier following my own way than clinging to someone else’s vision.
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