As we grew up many of our parents had hopes and dreams for our lives. Many of them hoped we’d go to college, start a successful career and one day find that special someone. They often offered their advice on how to date, what standards/expectations to have and where to meet someone.
9 times out 10 when we were growing up our parents had great intentions when they gave us dating advice. However, since our parents view us as their “baby, princess, prince” they often times didn’t tell us the butt ugly truth about relationships. They might have fail to mention the breakups, heartbreak, compromise and pain that relationships can bring. Here are 5 things your parents might have forgot to tell you about relationships.
- Your relationship might (probably won’t) turn out like your parents’ relationship – Often times our parents may have been married for 30 + years and gives us the false sense of security that our relationships will end up the same. According to research that studied young adult romantic relationships and the role of parents’ marital problems on their children’s relationships. They found that if the parents experienced marital conflict problems, then they could predict that their children would have conflict problems in their own relationships as young adults. The important advice that some parents fail to tell their kids is to look at whether or not your parents were able to communicate effectively and resolve problems without fighting. Seeing our parents argue and a lot dysfunction in their relationship can cause kids to repeat these same problems in their adult relationship.
- You don’t have to settle for just anybody to avoid being lonely – Many times, as we were growing our parents might have told us “don’t worry about getting in a serious relationship now… just focus on school… you’ll have plenty of time for that once you’re an adult.” This advice quickly changes once we reach the age of 25 + or in some cases 22 and up. When some parents start to worry will we ever settle down with someone and give them grandchildren. The piece of advice they may not give is that you don’t have to live up to the expectations they have set for your life. You have to true to the person you’re not the person they want you to be.
- A successful relationship doesn’t have to lead to marriage – Often time once we reach a certain age and are in a relationship we’re encouraged to get married. Which if often pressured by our parents, friends and other family members who’re following the societal norm of being married by a certain age having kids and living the American dream. However, marriage might not be your ideal relationship that makes you truly happy or maybe you’re simply not ready for such a huge commitment.
- Having kids doesn’t have to be a goal either – Not everyone is suited for parenting, and not everyone wants to be a parent anyway. There is no reason that you should let your parents’ expectation dictate whether you add to the next generation or not. Of course, they will tell you that they’d love to spoil their grandchildren, and that raising you was easy and a constant source of joy, but where will they be at 3 am when you’re exhausted and need to sleep before you get up in three hours for work and their darling grandchild just threw up? That’s another piece of advice that your parents won’t give you; when it comes to raising their grandchildren, you’re on your own.
What is something you’ve learned about relationships that no one ever told you about? Comment below & if you enjoyed this article please share!
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