Compromising is something we all have to do in many aspects of our lives. Compromises with life, career, family, goals, friends, relationships, life choices and countless number of other things are sometimes required in our daily lives. However often times we can get to the point of collapse where we loose ourselves and sometimes over compromise. This can be problematic when it comes to relationships. A few months ago I was invited to a panel discussion on today’s relationship climate and some of the challenges with dating. One of the topics that was touched on was compromising and how it can impact a relationship. This prompted me to ask the question when does compromise turn into collapse?
What is Compromise?
For many people in relationships compromise is an easy thing to do i.e.what restaurants you all like to attend, what movies to go see or maybe even to turn the TV down while the other person is on the phone. These compromises do not threaten our core requirements, wants, and deepest desires and the reasons why we got into a relationship in the beginning. In every relationship we all have differences but sometimes it can cause disagreements, arguments and sometimes causing the end of the relationship. Compromise is great in small doses, often necessary to smooth over a few rough edges of an otherwise smoothly functioning relationship. The problem occurs when we start compromising essential elements of who we are is when the cracks and leaks in the foundation of relationship start to expose itself.
What is Collapse?
Collapse only comes when we are in relationships that requires us to change who we are, what we do, the very thing that describes us as a person. This is when it can become tricky and many times can ruin a relationship. The goal for anyone looking for companionship is to find that “special someone” who makes them happy and are compatible with their personalities, character and morals. This is not to say that we will find some absolutely perfect, but we can have someone who is “right for us”.
In a healthy relationship we should sustain who each partner is and allow each person to grow and work together to meet his or her needs. This may seem obvious, but it is hard to keep this in mind while entranced by the unmatched bliss of a new love, when you’re willing to give up anything and everything to be with the other person and you don’t appreciate the costs of what you’re giving up. Have you every compromise before what were some of the things you compromised was it worth it? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!
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