The setting of standards and expectations is a traditional means of making quality decisions. Standards are defined as a level or quality of attainment while expectations are described as a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. We all have standards and expectations in life. Whether they are living in a certain neighborhood or the amount of money we want to make. There are many different types of standards that we may have set for our lives, relationships and careers. When it comes to dating, expectations can hinder ones chances of finding that “special someone”. Standards on the other can help you discover what you really want or need in a relationship. Most of the time standards don’t just pop into our heads like an idea. It is made and formed out of our values we learned as a kid and our lifestyle choices. Simply put, we develop these standards over time.
Standards should always precede expectations as they are the foundation markers for every relationship. Having standards for oneself is very important in finding a potential partner. When you’re setting standards you know yourself, you can set standards based on qualities or accomplishments that you’ve attained. I know many people who have stated that they won’t date anyone who doesn’t have a college degree. In this case, having a college degree is a minimum standard. However standards could limit or hurt your chances while dating if we get consumed with your “standards”. It is sometimes hard to differentiate between expectations and reality. One of the biggest misconception a lot of people have is that they want their partner must reciprocate all our feelings and agree with our opinions all the time. The fact is men and women are wired differently the way each of us approaches life situations and challenges is different, and to accept these differences and allow room for understanding the other is key to lasting happiness.
The key difference between expectations and standards is expectations are placed on others, while standards are things we place on ourselves. Men and women both value standards, they make you more exclusive, and exclusivity is attractive. Expectations are ugly because they make you seem picky, especially if you react adversely to failed or met expectations. We all have our relationship pet-peeves and “deal-breakers”. The key is to not allow our list to become so extensive that we rule out viable potential partners. If the thought of trimming your list makes you cringe, and you feel like you are “settling” then you shouldn’t change your list. Although if you have unrealistic expectations for love or an relationship, and are unwilling to compromise on even your most superficial criteria — make sure you are prepared to accept the consequences. Love doesn’t always arrive in the package we expected but if the gift itself is good, consider hanging on to it.
Which do you think is more important standards or expectations and what are some of the standards and expectations that you expect for your relationship? Comment Below and if you like this post, like and please share!
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