Who Are You Spending Time With?

A couple of weeks ago I had a discussion with a friend of mine about what it takes to achieve our goals in life. The main conclusion of this conversation is that a large amount of how successful we are in life comes down to the people we spend our time with. Strange as it may sound no matter how independent or self-efficient we are greatly influenced by those closest to us.

Impact People Have on Us

Many of us have all type of relationships some platonic, significant other, co-workers, or family members. However sometimes we don’t realize the power they can have on our lives. If you want to know where your life is heading look at your friends. If your friends are going places, have a spirit of excellence, kind, generous, courteous, and pursuit of success then those qualities are going to rub off on you.

The Significance ‘The Wrong People’ Can Have

Associating with the wrong people can affect our lives in a major way. The wrong people can negatively influence, discourage and mislead us just because they might not have our best interest at heart. The great thing is there are a bunch of amazing, positive, goal oriented people just waiting to help improve and shape our life in a positive direction. But here’s the key: If you’re spending time with the wrong people, you’ll never meet the right ones. A quote that always resonates with me is “You can’t hang out with chickens and expect to soar with eagles”. This simply means that if you want to reach your already predestined greatness hanging with people that aren’t going any place will only drag you down.

Who Are You Spending Time With?

Unsuccessful people find other unsuccessful people in other words birds of a feather flock together. Making sure the people closest to you are heading towards success is crucial. My challenge is simple no matter how smart, talented, how many skills you have acquired, where you are from or your family background. All that matters is where you want to be in life and the people you surround yourself with.  An additional thought, you shouldn’t spend a lot of time with people that are always negative, people that are constantly discouraged, you have to keep them cheered up, keep helping them fix their problems Now, I am huge component of helping other people I have dedicated my whole life to do so. But if you are constantly giving to a relationship or friendship, and aren’t receiving anything in return you might have to reconsider if that person is someone you should be spending your time with.

Final Thoughts

If we are on the road to success we must surround ourselves with the ‘right people’. The key that most all successful people point to is “when I changed my friends and the people I surround myself with my whole life completely changed”. Sometimes we tend to pick up on habits of our friends without even noticing it. We all have friendships that started off great then became toxic and it can be difficult to end a relationship or friendships after you have invested a lot of time, effort and energy. Have you ever had friends or family who weren’t right for you at that moment in your life? Also have you found those great people in your life who influence and help improve your life? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.


About Jay Colby

Some would categorize me as an entrepreneur, life coach, son, friend and all of the above. I’m just another person trying to find my way in this world. Until recently, I was unsure what my path in this life would consist of. Like many others I was between I know what I want to do but not sure if that’s what I’m supposed to do. I am currently finishing my degree in something that has nothing to do with becoming a writer or entrepreneur so automatically it qualifies me to become one right! Follow me as I go through this journey called life to impact and encourage one person at a time.
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168 Responses to Who Are You Spending Time With?

  1. The Adaptive Scientist says:

    I read this and thought hmmm Jay Colby – you must be living in my head.

    After a re-awakening that almost brought me to my knees, I decided to overhaul my life as practically possible. I have cut off a number of people after a careful assessment; and for some people who encourage or inspire me to be a positively thinking and acting human being, I have consciously drawn closer to them.

    So much joy comes from this self awareness.

    Negativity should be kept away as much as possible and if we do not aspire to have much qualities that our friends possess, then we shouldn’t be friends with them. They may be right for someone else but certainly not us. This is what I believe.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Jay Colby says:

      I agree with your points. Negativity can only us down and should limited as much as possible. The “right people” are all around us especially when we let go of the wrong people. Thanks for reading & sharing!


  2. Jay loved your post so inspiring.

    Liked by 2 people

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  5. This is all so true! You become like the people you surround yourself with. I like to surround myself with positive people who are working towards their goals, and have a great mindset 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Uttley says:

    I have certainly felt the drag of negative people in my life. Good, strong advice you give here.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. PH Yoga says:

    The timeliness of this post in my life is incredible. Thank you so much for sharing!!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Jessica says:

    Great article, I agree 100%.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. All those that I talk to daily are still on there way to success. We motivate one another. Great post

    Liked by 2 people

  10. luvnfinite says:

    I have been thinking about how this is true for some time, I notice that when I hang around positive people not only does my inspiration and drive increase, my mood also increases!

    Liked by 3 people

  11. shereenabadu says:

    I heard some time back that if you hang around with 9 broke friends eventually you will become the 10th. Another great article. So true

    Liked by 2 people

  12. CattleCapers says:

    I don’t think we should avoid negative people, as they need our help, but maximizing our time with healthier relationships is good advice so that we continue to be an inspiration to those who need better role models.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. prinxy says:

    I love this one Jay…


  14. I love this – asprinkleofjoyyy xx

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Heyyallweb says:

    I love this post, and it is all true. ” You can’t hang out with chickens and expect to soar with eagles” best sentence I heard in a few days 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Barb says:

    Jay, I hesitate to comment on this because I do believe it is true. We are who we hang out with and yet this isn’t always so black and white. We are all so different that I think when someone goes ahead to do something a little risky, others around them can become afraid they will be left behind. Their interactions then can have so much negative impact, and it is often subconscious on their part. Likewise that negative impact is repeated in those that would drain our energy and yet hesitate to give even a small portion back because it might hold them back. The irony is hilarious.
    I love the post because it is matter-of-fact and to the point but I hope you don’t mind it makes me a little sad we often can’t take the people we care about with us on our journey. I am only just now managing to juggle this and move forward.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. Kim Gorman says:

    Excellent post and great advice.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Eri Hunt says:

    This is so wonderful I love it ! I totally agree having the right people around you is everything. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. You REALLY want to re-evaluate your ideas of what constitutes success!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. imipresents says:

    This is super stuff! ☺️


  21. I moved from Minnesota to California in 9th grade and found some incredible people. My new friends came from other parts of the world, or had multiple jobs and alternative mindsets, something completely new to me. It felt like a whole new world had opened up. After graduation several of these friends went on the travel the world, something growing up that I thought was never in the cards for me. But these friends were not rich, or down on their luck- they made things happen. Once I realized how much is possible by seeing my friends do it made me realize there are endless OPPORTUNITIES 🙂 best people that could’ve happened to me.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Pingback: Awesome read! | Yankee Gals Cafe

  23. Emily says:

    Yes!!!!! This is so important and it is something you MUST be aware of and make conscious choices around.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. kemkem says:

    I always say “misery loves company”. There are so many people who want to keep you down. You have got to learn to separate the real from fluff and dump the fluff. Well said :-).

    Liked by 1 person

  25. That New Girl says:

    Life has just naturally ‘purged’ out the people in my life that were leading me absolutely nowhere good or productive. Now it’s just to find my ‘tribe’ of the RIGHT people now that the wrong ones are out!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. KenyaRae says:

    I tell my daughter this allllll the time 😂

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Hubby and I had a convo about this today. I can;t wait to share this with him.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Jo says:

    Very good read. I loved “If you want to know where your life is heading look at your friends”. Much of my 20s was hanging out with people going nowhere. I honestly felt bad when we drifted, but now I realize it was a good choice because I know I wouldn’t have made the connections or have certain opportunities I have today.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Miss Jamila says:

    I enjoyed this article. It’s very important to surround yourself with like minded people. The older you get, the more you realize how imperative it is to let go of negative individuals.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. MUAKimPorter says:

    This is a great post. It is funny because I have a co-worker I was speaking with about this. I’m going to share it with her to see what she thinks.


  31. Carissa (The Green Eyed Lady) says:

    Good Stuff and VERY true! I remember back to my college days, after we all moved home and started on our “real world” journeys I lost a lot of friends but I found more that were more for me and pushing each other in the right direction!

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Good read. Surrounding yourself with like minds and the right company is something instilled in my long ago and what you said certainly rings true.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Shaunna says:

    I am so inspired by you! I have been following your posts and you have blog entries on EVERYTHING!! Thanks for sharing and keep up the GREAT work!

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Anonymous says:

    There were so many quotes I wanted to paste down here but the best was “An additional thought, you shouldn’t spend a lot of time with people that are always negative, people that are constantly discouraged, you have to keep them cheered up, keep helping them fix their problems.” OMG!!!! This is totally draining.

    Liked by 1 person

  35. sheenatatum says:

    I agree with this post. I also think it’s good to have some people in the middle. Sometimes you can want to be with the eagles but you’re struggling to get there, so it helps to have people who are in the same situation to relate to while you repair your wings.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. I must agree, which reminds i need to find some business owners to hang out with. I want to have multiple streams of income


  37. Nai Elle says:

    Your article is very inspiring. I do agree with all the points you made.

    Liked by 2 people

  38. Wow!!! I’ve seen God move people out of my life. One person especially was not a great influence. Now I see why they had to go!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  39. Very true. We need to surround ourselves with positive, supportive, and motivated people! People who inspire you by working hard, putting themselves out there, trying new things. The ones who encourage you to take a leap. I’ve been around people who try to encourage me to take the easier, more travelled route. I’m starting to realize that maybe the route with no guarantee will be more fulfilling.

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Blue Settia says:

    Another great post. You are truly inspiring and very intelligent.
    One time I watched a documentary about the friendships we have and how they are a representation of ourselves and where we are headed in life.
    Gosh- I forget the motivational speakers name. But it was on Netflix. He believes FRIEND stands for:

    We basically rely on our friends to empower us, and we often find ourselves mirroring their actions/goals.


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