Online dating, once a fringe and stigmatized activity, now billions of people have given online dating a try. The first online dating site was Match.com, which launched in 1995. E Harmony started in 2000, OkCupid in 2004, and more recently, a wave of mobile people-swiping such as the popular app Tinder. But is this a positive new development or something to be concerned about? Is online dating making the world better and dating more effective, or is something that a person is missing without being able to tell the cliché story how they met on a college campus or at a grocery store? I will share some positive and negatives of online dating if you agree or disagree with me comment below your reason why.
Positives:
1. It’s the lowest of low pressure dating environments: Unlike meeting someone at a bar, for instance, time is on your side here. You can consult your friends on the perfect opening line. You have time to respond, or choose not to respond at all without risking any awkwardness. You can even throw in an emoji when words are just too much.
2. Weed out the crazy people: You can spot them pretty easily—aggressive, impatient messages, lists of rules about the types of people allowed contacting them, interests that include killing dogs on the weekend. Think about all of the time you can save and all of the locks you won’t have to change.
3. Realizing you’re not alone: Sometimes being single can make you feel like the loneliest person in the world and the thought alone of dating seems like an exhausting chore. But then spend five minutes swiping through singles in your area on Tinder and you realize that not only are you not alone
Negatives:
1. Relationships or Sex?: This is by far the biggest pitfall of online dating. This has become problematic because it has made asking for just “sex” easier online than in person.
2. Catfish: If you are not familiar with this term and want to online date I suggest you Google it. This term was coined after a popular TV show that was on MTV. It basically means someone who pretends to be someone they’re not by creating false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.
Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.
Jay Colby 
I’ve had friends that have been successful with the online dating, but I think it takes quite a bit longer to find people who are truly interested in romance instead of just sex. I’ve found my latest lover by going to a Meetup group. It’s technically online, but it’s not technically for dating. It just connects you to people who like the same activities and things. It’s nice to know you already have something in common with the person you’re dating. It’s why I liked the idea of the site HowAboutWe.com but it turned out to be less than useful. Great idea, not a lot of success. Good luck on your dating journey! I can’t wait to see what your final verdict will be about online dating!
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Just wish people would be straight up honest about what they want. I have used and have always been very clear about what i look for and want…however got too many times women that said something and wantrf just sex. Even married women not being honest about it and leading me on… i dont mind as long as i know what i am getting… sex is fine just tell me straight up so i dont develope feelings…gave up on it till i found one that is not only honest but actually works hard to keep… my opinion…good thing..just be honest. Dont pretend
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I did it for a bit and I was just saying that to a friend what I learned was that the white men were honest and the black ones were liars. I really don’t want to generalize here but that’s been my experience. The black men who spoke with me often were married or had a woman and just wanted fsome fun on the side but would not admit it. The white men will come straight and tell you they’re in an open relationship or not interested in marriage. Other than that my experiences afr about what you mentioned. And to tell you the truth, I just have up entirely and have not been online or dating in four years. I don’t want an open relationship nor am not dating for sex alone. So the wisest course is sto stop and did. It gets lonely sometimes but better than a heartbreak.
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Thanks for checking out my blog, Jay! This is a good overview post about online dating. Since I met my husband online, as did my best friend (within a couple of months of each other), I’m one of the happy ending stories. But there are a lot of scams and creepy people so you have to be wise and weed through them, as you’ve said. I wish you well in your endeavors…writing seems to be going well for you!
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Hopefully I will find my hubby online too! For now it is one disaster after the next! X
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It does take some time and patience, but well worth it for the right person! I hope you will find your perfect match!
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I agree 100%! Check out my blog..I am beginning to tell my online dating stories
..Hilarious but scary, too! Like a scary mole, except, I’m starring in the movie.
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Pingback: Online Dating: Good or Bad? – DatingDisabled.org
I love the post! I’m writing about my own experiences with online dating so this really intrigued me 🙂
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Thank you & I know I’ve read a few pretty interesting & entertaining!
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I’ve also been inspired to write about mine too as my friends enjoyed my stories about my dodgy dates!
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One of our family friends went through many sites before he found someone to meet date and later marry. They are still happily married
However I believe that is the exception. Many people use online dating to misrepresent who they are. Body language is absent until you meet which I find very important in gauging not only whether they are truthful but ofttimes what both of you really mean when you are speaking.
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It’s also really good fun to go out and meet lots of people you wouldnt come across otherwise? Especially if you work in a big city. Online apps can connect you with other like minded people even if it doesnt end in a relationship 🙂
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An interesting stance on online dating. Check out my latest blog, I talk about something similar.
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I’ve known some people who’ve had luck using online dating sites. I tried it briefly and quit after two dates. Both men seemed normal and then when the dates came around, I found out one was still married and the other had been fibbing about where he worked and that he lived with his mom. I think it can be easy to weed out people who are crazy and can’t control themselves, but you still have to watch out for the liars. Some people are crazy good at lying, they’ve been practicing their craft for years.
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Glad you pointed those out. Also, i think Online dating sites promote cheating. Some guys on Tinder are just trying to escape their girlfriends 😅
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Very true some people do use it for that reason.
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After a breakup I recently decided to try downloading one of the dating apps. It is really interesting the people and messages you meet. I’m not sure yet if I will stick with it but it is certainly seems to be helping me deal with the breakup
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so many choice make you mad
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After dating someone I met online only to receive the worst heartbreak of the year NO to online hookups.
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Hahah. I am having the worst time with online dating but you are correct in that it is easy to weed out people.
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I understand it can be tough. What are the main troubles you are having?
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Harrassment for one which i just covered in my blog post today and just general male idiocy ie focusing more on sexual propositions than actual interest.
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If you decide to try some on or offline dating come to my site & get some tips 😘
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Great post…. Ive come across some complete nutcases in my pursuit of a relationship online…. More crazies than normal people sadly 😕
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Just jumped into the world of online dating and am finding so much of this to be true. My biggest concern however is Safety! It’s very difficult to get a vibe on someone when you haven’t met in person!
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Online dating can be a lot of negative things but it sure makes meeting the right one way easier. I mean, not everyone can just bump into their soulmate in the grocery store, sometimes, you’ve got to give fate a hand.
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I agree you make some great points. Have you tried online dating and how was your experience?
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Yes i have tried it in the past and you do get to meet all sorts of characters online. However, I am not against it. Great people are out there looking to meet other great people too. Just gotta look out for yourself.
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Online dating is amazing, but the fact is: it never truly works out. There’s no expression of feeling with touch. All that’s there, is only words. It sucks.
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Online dating is hard after being married for 24 years! Ugh!!
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You’ve been married and searching for online dates? If that’s true, then it’s amazing.
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Haha…maybe that was a bit confusing. Divorced since dating!
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Oh, impressive!
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I think online dating is really taking out the personal aspect. Anyone can check a few boxes and match up, or think you have a cute picture, or even spew a few pickup lines and get in the door. I don’t feel like online dating gives you the chance for that chemistry. Its through the awkwardness and body language that you figure out if you have true chemistry with a person. When you are face to face with them, you feel things. Maybe it’s warmth, or butterflies in your stomach, or maybe it’s something bad like you just feel creeped out or disgusted. These things help you figure out if you really like the person or not. I’ve fallen emotionally for many people because of things they have typed on a screen. I’ve been smitten by some “hot” guy in a picture. I don’t think any of those things are solid foundations for a lasting relationship. When you were in high school did you ever take one of those surveys that told you what kind of job you should have? Or have you ever taken any kind of “compatibility” personality test and just been flabbergasted by the results because there is no way that’s you? I feel like online dating is the same. Oh I like rock music, the color green, and eggs for breakfast, so I’m compatible with this guy. Nope. Sorry. Don’t think so. Online might be a great place to find a hookup (don’t forget to wear protection!) or someone to just hang out with, but as for finding a lasting relationship, I think people need to go deeper than that.
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I think you’ve raised some good points, Jay. Online dating can be great depending on what you are looking for and how disciplined you are in interacting with people on the site. If you want a relationship and have criteria you are looking for, it’s going to be hard to find that on a site like Tinder and Bumble when there is little to go from other than a persons looks.
I’ve had both great and terrible experiences in online dating, and much has had to do with how I approached it.
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Great read. Online dating, not for
Me.
I prefer taking in the presence , ambience , and actually sitting and meeting a person in the flesh. I’m huge on connections with people and I feel like online dating can actually rob you of that. You never know who you’re actually dealing with.
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how are u pretty am interested in u for friendship/dating
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Online dating has most definitely come a long way, however I wonder how many people would feel ashamed to say they met their partner on ‘tinder’ for example? Another issue is how many people actually turn out to look like their photos? Surely you display what you think of as your best angles but is this then a huge disappointment when your turn up to your date to find someone who doesn’t actually have perfect complexion from the Sierra filter on Instagram.
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After a while, you get the hang of what to look out for. When their skin looks a little TOO perfect or when their angles are all too angular – you know you’ve got a red flag.
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Online dating has definitely come a long way; however I wonder how many people would feel embarrassed to say that they met their partner on ‘tinder’ for example. Another issue is how many people actually look like their photos in real life? It would seem obvious to display your best angles on your profile however how disappointing when you meet your date to find that they don’t have perfect complexion from the Sierra filter that they have used on Instagram.
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Hi! I’ve been using online dating for 7 years and for whatever reason have found it very unsuccessful. That is not to say I disagree with it either. I have just started a blog about my own pitfalls of online dating
I am very new to this way of writing, but I wanted to be able to share my stories good and bad with women and men. I also wanted to hear other peoples takes on their own experiences .
My one tip I can give after the long journey I have been on is – BE OPEN MINDED.. nothing prepared me for any of it. I am still amazed everyday by what happens out there!
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YES! That is so true. Being open-minded is crucial to online dating – and actually, dating in general. Go into everything without expectations. Laugh when things go wrong , at least you’ve got a story.
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Hi. I’ve just set up a blog on this! I’ve been online dating for 7 long years ha. I think online dating is absolutely fine and a personal choice. I do however find it’s a place for people to be someone else, almost like creating a different version of themselves. But this is only my experience and I always love to hear people’s success stories. X
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Online dating need to be a thing of honesty, sincerity, love from the beginning , both parties has to agree on one thing Love , is also a way of socializing with notable men/women world wide , perfecting universal human-relationship , i see nothing wrong about online dating , if not the fraudsters that hide on online defrauding so many women by pretense of marriage , but among the good there is the bad there, so all u need is to be careful with who u dating online try to meet one on one either on tourism,
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Everything has two sides, even a sugar daddy site has positive side too. Some people from the initial relationship between the development of money to mutual love, and ultimately repair the fruition. So, I think a good dating site like wealthymatch.org will be more positive in online dating.
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Good writing and very useful to me. I’m writing a dating blog too. I believe I can learn more from you, look forward to your return visit. My site wealthymatch.org
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Iv been writing a blog about my own online dating experiences.. it’s a bit tongue in cheek.. 😁
Have a look and let me know what u think! 😁
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I think both a positive and a negative that you’re missing here is the sheer number of possibilities that online dating opens you up to. You allude to it in “you’re not alone,” and “relationships or sex?” but, assuming you’re in a large enough city, the online dating pool can be enormous. There’s the idea of ‘why do I have to settle?’ and never having to be ‘bored’ per se – (i.e. if someone taking too long to respond, just start swiping again).
On the one hand, this can be good, why should you have to settle just for the sake of being in a relationship? On the other hand, if you’re waiting for perfection, you’ll be waiting a very, very long time.
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My experiences have plain sucked. I’ve been catfished, I’ve been stalked, I’ve had a man tell his wife he was cheating on her with me (I’d never met him!) and she went batshit crazy all over my social media. I’ve had a man who has a fetish with the size of my hands, one who wants to buy my old shoes as long as they are smelly, a man who wants to do something filthy on my spectacles, and two who wear nappies for fun.
I despair, I really do.
Ally
http://www.longtallally.com
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You have to be so careful when choosing an online dating site. There are so many fake profiles and scams. My mom uses online dating sites regularly and I am a matchmaker with The Executive Heart Market so I see first hand what happens on these sites. I hear so many complaints now about people going on dates from Tinder and sleeping together the first night and wondering why they don’t get a call- back. Wake up! These sites are for hook ups! If you want a serious relationship, do the work! Put in the effort and at the very least find a reputable site that vets their members. http://www.justaskmisty.com
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I think I must be branded the crazy person because I tried online dating on and off for 3 years and in the end (because of messages and the types of guys I seemed to meet) I decided to add a long list of what I was looking for. I thought this would of been helpful, to me if your genuine then why would you want to keep risking meeting people out for one thing. So I remember the boxes we could tick e.g) if a user as message someone looking for an intimate encounter you can block, TICK…if a user ticks does drugs TICK…you get my point. The list was getting longer and I found through a hard experience that I will never go back online to date again.
I believe we are becoming more and more flippant in a throw away society and for the old fashioned (yes am proud of that) types who genuinely are looking for love it just seemed like a sweet shop.
I have now been single for 4 years, I don’t go out drinking and a social life when you have children is (for me anyway) near impossible. So its a shame sites was abused by the player types. Its great for those who just wish to have a bit of fun, but for those who wanted a more meaningful relationship i think its harder.
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I’ve been on online dating sites before marriage. Another good thing about it is that you get to socialize if you are an introvert person.
Even though there is low pressure, people still are pressured of putting their best because of the competition. You have to put your best picture or else you will get a very low response rate.
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