Online dating, once a fringe and stigmatized activity, now billions of people have given online dating a try. The first online dating site was Match.com, which launched in 1995. E Harmony started in 2000, OkCupid in 2004, and more recently, a wave of mobile people-swiping such as the popular app Tinder. But is this a positive new development or something to be concerned about? Is online dating making the world better and dating more effective, or is something that a person is missing without being able to tell the cliché story how they met on a college campus or at a grocery store? I will share some positive and negatives of online dating if you agree or disagree with me comment below your reason why.
Positives:
1. It’s the lowest of low pressure dating environments: Unlike meeting someone at a bar, for instance, time is on your side here. You can consult your friends on the perfect opening line. You have time to respond, or choose not to respond at all without risking any awkwardness. You can even throw in an emoji when words are just too much.
2. Weed out the crazy people: You can spot them pretty easily—aggressive, impatient messages, lists of rules about the types of people allowed contacting them, interests that include killing dogs on the weekend. Think about all of the time you can save and all of the locks you won’t have to change.
3. Realizing you’re not alone: Sometimes being single can make you feel like the loneliest person in the world and the thought alone of dating seems like an exhausting chore. But then spend five minutes swiping through singles in your area on Tinder and you realize that not only are you not alone
Negatives:
1. Relationships or Sex?: This is by far the biggest pitfall of online dating. This has become problematic because it has made asking for just “sex” easier online than in person.
2. Catfish: If you are not familiar with this term and want to online date I suggest you Google it. This term was coined after a popular TV show that was on MTV. It basically means someone who pretends to be someone they’re not by creating false identities, particularly to pursue deceptive online romances.
Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.
Jay Colby 
Great post! I think another negative about online dating is that you are bombarded with people. I think it’s harder to settle down with someone when you know that there’s an app with tons of single people on it who probably want to talk to you. I guess in a way it’s positive because you’re more likely to meet someone you like, but there are wayyyy too many options available to you.
-Rosie
http://www.hookupcultures.com
LikeLiked by 13 people
Great post !! But there is also another downfall to online dating , some of those people that don’t look so crazy turn out to be the lunatics.
LikeLiked by 9 people
Reblogged this on Lifestyle Writing and commented:
This is a really good read when it comes to online dating so please give it a read. This is originally found on jaycolby.com, if you have time check out his website
LikeLiked by 8 people
Great post well done. Well balanced objective viewpoint
LikeLiked by 5 people
I am not opposed to the concept of online dating, but I don’t see myself trying it personally, I like meeting people “organically” it is more comfortable to me.I think the reason I don’t care to try online dating is that it seems like too much pressure. For met there is just something about meeting someone out and about and getting to know them that I find appealing and even romantic.
LikeLiked by 12 people
Hi Jay,
I know Rosie and Chris. I met you on his site. I am glad you liked my guest author’s article on WordPress hacking. You said if I have a moment to check out your online dating article, so here I am.
In response to your post, I am in favor of online dating. It sure is better and probably safer then the alternative, a bar, if people meet in a public place. Years ago 1 out of 5 met online. It’s more now.
Thanks again for your support of my blog and my guest author’s article.
Janice
LikeLiked by 8 people
My biggest pitfall in online dating has been the people who judge you soley based on your photo. I even put disclaimers in an old profile of mine, and still got the people who weren’t actually interested in getting to know me. I finally gave up. I have met some great people online, but they are truly few and far between. I think I’ll just stay single if it means I can only find a date through online dating.
for more of my thoughts on being single check out http://singleandperfectblog.wordpress.com
LikeLiked by 9 people
Hey,
I met my husband online, although not on one of the dating websites you mentioned in your post. We met in an “alternative” online environment if you want :), more precisely in an MMORPG, a game we are both playing and are passionate about and from there and then on our relationship evolved and we built it until we got married.
I have always been an extremely shy person, an introvert, who likes reading books and only feels comfortable among close friends, family and small groups. I have always hated clubs, drinking, crowds, the akwardness of meeting new people, especially new and wrong people whom I seemed to have nothing in common with.
I finished college, moved back home in a small town, started work and on top of all this if I added my likes and dislikes, I basically never got out of the house, I had no place to meet people, or meet people I had anything in common with.
Therefore, online dating worked for me. Of course, some people might say it’s dangerous, it’s risky, it’s crazy….that you don’t really know how people you meet online are..or the “catfish” term you mentioned. But, with every decision we make in life, we take a risk! Sometimes it pays off, other times it doesn’t. In my case it did :).
You can read more about my story on my blogor leave a comment. I would be happy to hear of other different or similar experiences, opinions or exchange some comments!
http://aglimpseinsidemyworld.com/
LikeLiked by 10 people
Hi Jay!
Interesting article 😉
I’ve been on online dating sites myself, and I have to be honest….I didn’t had quite really good experiences from it.
Sometimes people say they want the same as you, but in the end they are only after….temporary fun times.
I know a few people who did had very good experiences with online dating and one of my friends is actually getting married next year with a Man she met online.
I think there is a part of being lucky to meet up with the nice, genuine person.
I have the feeling that online dating is also an easier way to tell others what every you want and sometimes it’s hard to believe what they say, especially after a few bad experiences.
People who are married and pretend they are not, they often just like the attention and flirting, but when it comes up to meeting up, they pull back or even don’t show up.
So yes….my experience at the moment is that I find it very hard to meet a nice genuine guy online 😉
Angelique ღ
LikeLiked by 7 people
Thank you for sharing your experience. I’ve noticed a lot of people share the same experience because sometimes it can be difficult to find someone genuine online.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe you’d meet one on WordPress 😉
LikeLike
Online dating is risky!! Catfish! God there are so many fake identities. So, it’s a no.
Great post and it’s always a good thing to know about people’s views!!
LikeLiked by 8 people
Very true & thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Great post! As a single woman, the thought of online dating right now is horrifying. Partly because you have no idea what you’re going to get. If they are telling the truth or lying. You’re bombarded and they all expect a reply. How do you know if you’ll pick the right one. It’s stressful man. Right now just trying to meet people in general doing meetups and things like that, where it’s not expected you’ll end up on a date.
LikeLiked by 8 people
I understand I’ve heard of many stories from women with the same experenice. Thanks for reading & sharing!
LikeLike
Online dating is a great supplement to “dating IRL”. While I was single I did both, and honestly preferred meeting men on line so I could filter out who I wasn’t interested in before putting forth too much effort.
LikeLiked by 7 people
That’s interesting I’ve the researched and have met many people with this same sentiment. Thanks for stopping by & reading!
LikeLike
I don’t have hours to spend running background checks either. Lol
LikeLiked by 7 people
I was one of the beta testers for Match and have tried all the others, one thing that is prevalent on all the dating sites whether you pay or not are the fraudsters. They are so many stories and so tiring to deal with, I turn them in to all the male scammer sites I find. It’s unfortunate, however, that many actually are taken in by these people, are not only catfished, but are scammed on a much higher level.
LikeLiked by 7 people
That is very I have heard those kind of stories as well. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
Great post I love the weed out the crazy people advice
LikeLiked by 5 people
Thank you
LikeLiked by 2 people
I find online dating interesting and easier for me. I hardly have the time to socialise and meet people in public so online dating is my option at the moment. Online dating is for very patient people, you will always know the real and fake ones if you take your time, be careful too. I wrote an article about online dating and true that you meet lots of people with fake identities which also happen in person, it’s actually easier for me to let go off people I don’t agree with online than in real life and then move on. I have friends that have met their loved ones online but patience is the keyword, everything reveals itself during that period.
LikeLiked by 4 people
I met my better half online a year ago…best thing that could’ve happened to us. It started off as friendship first which is so much better…. I’d do it again I think if i ever have to lol
LikeLiked by 3 people
That is great I’ve many similar stories about online dating. Thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Online dating I think don’t have that thrill. The man is suppose to enchant his lady toward him, that is the rule of nature. He has to win her, among so many years others he has to make her choose him.
Online dating has made all this stuff east. Just post one of your good pic and write all good stuff about yourself, it hardly matters even if it is true or not.
It is fake and too much virtual too.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Great insight thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
true said
LikeLiked by 1 person
I had my share of crazies while trying the online thing. So blessed to have found someone who was really who he said he was, and was dating with a purpose. We met on Match, married 6 months later and just had our 1 year anniversary in September. It’s definitely a roller coaster ride at times but we’re both glad to be along for the ride. Great post.
LikeLiked by 5 people
Hi Jay
Good post for sure. Yip this biddy tried the online dating service when i got separated a good 6 years ago. What a plus and a minus….. Positive side is that I met a few men (2 to be exact) who have become just friends. The negative is wow…. all the freaks and sex starved males out there that prey on the ‘lonely’ ladies is an eye opener…. they all start of being so nice and then Wham the weird comes in after about 3 chat sessions. The wanting of naked pics from you,etc. Some were even after a ‘ green card’ type of relationship until they realised that I was not from America but South Africa then all of a sudden they go dead online….
Needless to say I went off line and out of the internet dating chat rooms. Much to freaky for me. But I did meet my live in boyfriend on a site but on the good ole Facebook site that was for the single 40s and upwards site in South Africa. I made a nice few friends on it and then got to chatting with my man. Well, a year later I moved up to were he was and we have been together for 3 years now. So, there is a good side after you weed out all the ‘funky monkeys’ and ‘ toads’.
LikeLiked by 5 people
The immediacy of online dating – finding someone you like the look of and sending a message – while great in some respects – also means that if you’re put off by something they say, don’t like their opening message, can’t be bothered talking , it’s all to easy to delete and move on.
Billie x
datingwithbillie.co.uk
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’d been bad for me. I’m tired of the intrusive questions, the fuckboys and being asked for sex. I use both Tinder and OK Cupid. Weirdly I’ve met better people on Tinder. For me it’s just a distraction and a chance to feel less alone. I’m too scared to meet anyone though
LikeLiked by 3 people
Online dating is hard. You need a thick skin. I think sometimes that the amount of choice prevents people from actually trying to get to know each other, just in case they miss ‘the one’. I actually met a really lovely man who was ‘perfect’ for me on paper. Turns out he wasn’t perfect for me. Enjoy the dating with your eyes wide open, that is my advice.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Interesting perspective thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
I’ve dated men from online or apps. I met some weird and mean ones. I eventually met my boyfriend of almost 4 years on OK Cupid. We’ve had our ups and downs but we work through it. Plenty of Fish and Craigslist are definitely no no’s. That’s where I met the worst ones. 😂
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thanks for sharing your experience!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Personally, I’ve never done online dating because I’ve been with my husband for 26 years and it didn’t exist back then! I’ve heard mixed reviews from others. I know women who were duped for sex, and both men and women who found the love of their lives through online dating. If I were suddenly single again, which I hope doesn’t happen, I don’t think I’d try it.
LikeLiked by 4 people
I think ten years ago, it was valid. I met lots of great people on match.com and okcupid (met my husband there) I met the most twisted freaks on eharmony. I’m not sure why.
I hate the “slide and like” concept of Tindr. Don’t bother to read a profile. Just scroll through and shop for a date as if it was eBay. Bleah.
Someone convinced me one of those sites had an active social platonic circle. They lied. I put up a pic that said I was married, asexual, agnostic and wanted friends only. I got tons of single Christian guys obviously wanting to hook up.
LikeLiked by 2 people
That is amazing thank you for reading and sharing your experience!
LikeLike
You hit it on the head! Dog killing on the weekend made me giggle! Online dating definitely makes asking for sex easier.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I agree have you ever tried online dating?
LikeLiked by 2 people
I thought I responded to this. But yea I’ve done online dating. I had one decent experience from Match. Had a year long relationship, but we’re still cordial. We just didn’t Match up all that great. But I’ve met some creeps too. Especially on sites like POF 😩🙄
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is very interesting. I have been doing some research on online dating the past few months. To get a better understanding of how it truly works. I’ve heard and read several negative stories about POF. Many stated that there are some strange people on there who only want sex with no real commitment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Indeed, I’ve also have acquaintances that have come across some strange people.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on GrowthSpurt and commented:
What do you guys think?
LikeLiked by 3 people
I’m married so it doesnt affect me but I would say no it’s scary out there you can’t trust ppl anymore like u could 10 yrs ago
LikeLiked by 4 people
Very true thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Online dating is for the needy. I believe in meeting someone naturally. If you look for love, chances are another one is well. Often out of loneliness of fear of loneliness one pursues the path of seeking it online. I believe it’s important to love yourself first. After that you will attract the right one eventually. And don’t forget: people will always put their best foot forward thus showing a profile with only their best characteristics.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Very true like the old saying “when you go looking for something you’ll find it”. Great insight thanks for sharing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I met my amazing boyfriend on Tinder. Neither one of us were expecting a relationship to bloom, but I honestly have found my person and I wasn’t even expecting it. I have experienced the negative side to online dating before though. I have had my fair share of crazies haha.
Xo
http://www.thekristinreview.com
LikeLiked by 4 people
Thank you for sharing your experience!
LikeLiked by 1 person
( ･ω･)☞I think that’s it is neither good or bad by itself, but the way you use it defines the outcome.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Very true. Thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I met my husband through online dating in 1997 and we were married in 1998. We will be celebrating our 19th anniversary this year. It worked for us.
LikeLiked by 5 people
That’s amazing congrats!!!
LikeLike
Great post! I agree that one of the most frustrating things about online dating is people’s intentions.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I know so many people that online dating has worked for I know many couples that have met their spouses online but for me… online dating DOES NOT WORK lol I’ve tried and I get weirdos and perverts. Not sure what about me says please pervs and weirdos come to me!
LikeLiked by 3 people
I understand I think it depends on your luck because everybody got different stories from online dating. Thanks for sharing your experience!
LikeLike
I think this is so perfect! We live in a world full of technology and it makes sense that our dating could start online as well. As long as people are safe and take some precautions, I think it’s a great way for people to get out of their comfort zone and meet someone new, even if its not romantic.
LikeLiked by 4 people
I agree anyone should be able to find long lasting love no matter where they find it. Thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Totally agree!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Another negative is getting no matches. Tinder only shows matches, so you’ve no idea of who has selected you which you haven’t. So you’ve no idea how popular you really are, but it is a bit demoralising when you get a match once a month. POF at least shows you who is interested you (without a match), but you soon find out they are people you wouldn’t touch with Donald Trump’s tiny fingers.
However, my last couple of girlfriends were met via dating sites, so when you do finally get a match things can work well.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Interesting perspective. Thanks for reading & sharing!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think that online dating creates the perspective that there is always something, someone better. There is always an opportunity to trade up. It creates the impression that the opportunity cost of being in a relationship is high because you would be missing out on potentially someone better.
LikeLiked by 5 people
Great insight thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
I liked your pro and con list — it was a fun read!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you for reading!
LikeLike
Its an option…in my opinion…there is no significant difference…if both parties are honest- great relationship
If both parties are shady-poor relationship. Great topic😊
LikeLiked by 4 people
Thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My husband and I “met online”. We started chatting in July 2009 and we personally met in September 2009. We became friends and started officially being an item although not “committed” some time in February 2010. We became exclusive in April 2010. We married in 2011 and we have a beautiful toddler.
Before him, I dated 2 other guys and although they didn’t work out in the end, they were not bad relationship experiences. One guy was an IT Infrastructure Manager for an international courier company and another was a Marketing Director for a huge Chinese telecom company. I was Group FM for a Property Development company then. And we all lived in the same area. I also met for coffee a couple or so other guys but we knew immediately there wasn’t anything there…
It does work. Ours isn’t the only one in my huge circle of friends of network. You have to be real and honest. You have to be strict with what you want and don’t compromise. Just like dating out there, you don’t settle, even before you meet in person. It’s almost a scientific process and the intuition comes when you meet. On finding the fraud? You’ll know. Like I said, don’t settle. We try online dating because it’s time-consuming to go out and keep meeting the wrong ones. Going online is like going through a recruiter – the initial screening is done there. 🙂 Then, it becomes like traditional dating except the internet helped for the two of you to meet. Lol!
LikeLiked by 8 people
In society today…people are always looking for ‘the next best thing’ and swiping to the next profile instead of seeing that there is someone truly special right in front of them…this is the biggest frustration for me with online dating.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Great insight thanks for sharing!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I met my guy online. Of course I was leary because of some of the negatives you mentioned but 3 years later…here we are!
LikeLiked by 5 people
That’s great well I guess that just shows it can work for some of us!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think online datings are not at all trust worthy
LikeLiked by 2 people
Totally related to your post. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Nowdays that a lot of people (and many reasonable, fun and smart people) would rather spend a cosy night in at the pc than go out to the local disco/pub to meet new people, I suppose it is a good way of initiating contact suitable for people in this busy day and age full of technology.
Although of course it has its drawbacks, I would say it is a nice addition and a nice alternative to the traditional way of meeting people…especially if you do not have a big group of friends that can introduce you to nice people, you have moved to a new town or even if you have social anxiety (and many other reasons).
LikeLiked by 4 people
Great insight I tend to agree. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
I think chemistry is obviously vital to a successful date but it’s virtually impossible to get a sense of it when communicating online.
I’ve started blogging about all my dates recently and have generally found those I’ve met in reality to have more of a spark. Maybe the internet dulls that a bit?
LikeLiked by 6 people
I did get chemistry through the computer finding a fellow on OKCupid. We were an astounding 92% match. When we met it was unreal. He felt like my twin flame. We lived together for 2.5 years and intended to get married until he passed away a year ago. Nevertheless, I’ve found compatible people on Cupid-two others who ended up just being friends. Meeting in person does clinch the pheromones though, yes.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I blog mine too and totally agree re Chemistry. chatted to a guy for about two months and we had loads to talk about and made each other laugh…he just lived too far away. So we eventually met up and there was no chemistry whatsoever and we never spoke again!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Online dating is very complicated. You can’t get to know a true person’s intentions without in my opinion looking in their eyes and determining what is really going on. Pictures can be old things can be there that were not there on the picture so you know it is all types of things. I did however enjoy your pros and cons list it was pretty much on point.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You make some valid points. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
No problem
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think using the dating sites is the best way to get a good match, just for starters. I didn’t care for Match.com. OKCupid worked very well for me and I’ve had many dates and am dating someone now from Cupid. But I’ve found, the higher the percentage match the better. All the men I’ve met have been honest and are seriously looking for the right person to be with. If the fellow I’m dating doesn’t go forward, I’m going to check out Elite Partners site.
LikeLiked by 2 people
It’s alright to use dating sites looking for a partner but it is important to do research on the dating websites before signing up for them because a few of them can be filled with con artists and such. And as others have mentioned, you never know if someone is telling a fib or truth regarding who they are (identity).
LikeLiked by 1 person