5 Reasons Why It’s Hard To Date In 2016


  1. Fear of failed relationships: It’s becoming common to see the people around us getting in bad relationships. It’s practically impossible to trust someone these days. We’ve all heard stories from our friends, family and colleagues being related to some sort of cheating scandal. As a result, some have major trust issues, while others might feel burdened with insecurity from their partner.
  2. Having high standards:As we grow older, we add more things to our list of what we look for. We understand what we want in personality qualities, physical attraction, values, interests, etc. This makes finding a partner tricky because each person has a certain score for his or herself to determine his or her own worth.
  3. Unknown definition of love: For some people, love is a feeling of being in the moment much more than just being loved. For others, love requires a lot of personal growth. I expound on this topic more in one of my previous post “How Do People Express Love?”.
  4. Self-centered: Every individual in the world is self-centered to a certain extent; we all think about our needs and ourselves first and foremost. Whether this is good or bad doesn’t really matter; the world is the way it is. It’s part of human nature.
  5. Priorities:It’s hard falling in love due to societal factors. Adulthood tends to be delayed, and now there are more people going to college and grad school and moving back in with their parents.Starting a relationship requires time, effort and money. While some people would rather focus on school, others would like to be financially stable before committing to a long-term relationship.




Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

About Jay Colby

Some would categorize me as an entrepreneur, life coach, son, friend and all of the above. I’m just another person trying to find my way in this world. Until recently, I was unsure what my path in this life would consist of. Like many others I was between I know what I want to do but not sure if that’s what I’m supposed to do. I am currently finishing my degree in something that has nothing to do with becoming a writer or entrepreneur so automatically it qualifies me to become one right! Follow me as I go through this journey called life to impact and encourage one person at a time.
This entry was posted in People, Relationships, Single and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

43 Responses to 5 Reasons Why It’s Hard To Date In 2016

  1. Reblogged this on Single Girl In The Real World and commented:
    So true

    Liked by 6 people

  2. kbeezyisviral says:

    Most people won’t find a lifelong friend and lover without financial stability. The economy is volatile and most people want certainty on being situated nicely ten years down the road.

    My standards are pretty high and I never compromise. Finding a woman who has ideas, visions, and ambition greater than mine is possible, but extremely rare. I have faith that I will find her once I’m incredibly successful with my publishing company and other business ventures.

    Liked by 6 people

  3. I am married to the woman of my life since 46 years so luckily I don’t have to date I wouldn’t have a clue how to do that. If the worst should happen and I outlive my wife I doubt I will find someone new.

    Liked by 8 people

  4. Great points bro! This is absolutely true! I think the demands on our time is definitely a huge part of it – as well as the fear of rejection. I wonder to which degree these two, combined, are responsible for the proliferation of online technology (as people are able to scan love interests from a distance, while also insulating themselves from rejection). What do you think?

    Liked by 5 people

  5. scooterdave says:

    Finding love, late in life, is hard work. But everyone wants love, a partner, a friend. It’s a matter of being more value than overhead, more crazy solving than crazy making.

    I’ve heard plenty say their list includes certain income, degrees, chiseled bodies, even height, race and facial hair. Ok, swipe left. But over coffee, I hear lonely friends say they truth. They want a best friend in their hour of need, someone not scamming or playing them, that will share in their joys and bring more to them.

    That sounds like “don’t be crazy, a jerk, or absurd”. Give love, Get love. But I’m new to the late life dating scene

    Liked by 6 people

  6. Heri says:

    I think the biggest issue is self-centeredness. Most families are single child so from the beginning, children get everything they wish. Then we all get used to get all of our wishes being fulfilled, given enough money. Technology gives us instant gratification.

    But relationships aren’t like that. You need to give and forgive. Sometimes you don’t get what you want. But people don’t have the patience. They just bail out when there’s something wrong.

    Liked by 7 people

  7. sargondorsai says:

    I’m terrible at dating. I don’t think I’ve dated since High School. I made all my connections with people and got to know them back then, and then as an adult jumped from relationship to relationship rather than dating to meet new people. Does that make me different?

    Liked by 5 people

    • Jay Colby says:

      No not at all I find that every person has a different dating experience. When it comes to dating there is not one-size-fits-all. We’re all a sum of our surroundings when it comes to dating. Thanks for reading!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. geminilvr says:

    i think a big problem is choices, with online dating the moment you and your partner have a problem it’s on to the next instead of working it out. Too easy to just run and start up with another

    Liked by 5 people

  9. I would say some ‘not so qualified standards’. It’s okay to have certain high standards

    Liked by 4 people

  10. I think relationships, real relationships that exist because of two people being in love don’t exist. Everyone today wants a relationship for their own personal wants/needs. Two people don’t just fall in love anymore, and if theres a chance of that, your five reasons get in the way of it. Think about it, people join Tinder and online dating sites/apps for sex, whether we’d like to admit it or not. Sometimes these matches lead to relationships…but then isn’t the relationship centered around the fact that two people had sexual needs that were well satisfied by one another and they turned that into a relationship…so if the sex goes…wouldn’t the relationship dwindle somewhat? Then there’s women who date men for financial reasons and they don’t get attached, or women who don’t believe in relationships because they think men are no good and don’t want relationships, they just want the benefits of one. Do people really just get into relationships just because they want to spend their life or share their lives growing with someone, while trying to maneuver their own?

    Liked by 4 people

    • Jay Colby says:

      That is a great question but the answer is subjective. I think we all want to be love or feel love at some point in our lives. Now how we go about finding this love is different. Thanks for reading & sharing your thoughts!

      Liked by 2 people

  11. This is so true. A lot of it also comes down to immaturity and inability to communicate

    Liked by 4 people

  12. Hahaha what a lovely write up👌🏻

    Liked by 3 people

  13. S-Badu says:

    Hey, I love reading your blog so much I have nominated you for the versatile blogger award

    Liked by 3 people

  14. There isn’t anything wrong with having high standards, but this concept is often confused with a laundry list of things a potential partner should be able to provide or do for you. Those aren’t standards; that’s a wish-list for Santa!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. That’s why I married in 2009 lol

    Liked by 1 person

  16. I think a lot of this stems from the instant gratification society we have where everything is at our fingertips. Think of the last time you needed information and the instant availability with your cell phone in your hand to have that instant gratification. With dating in the 21st century shifting from in person meets to sifting through single serve profiles on tinder, bumble, or other dating apps is it really surprising we are experiencing love challenges in the technology age. Unfortunately at this point we have too many options and lack the ability to commit to one because dating apps have made this a game rather than a pursuit.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. horptie says:

    Very true points, I also want to add: lack of self-love. I believe most people that really and truly understand the meaning of Self-love else it would be totally easy and possible to love somebody other than yourself when eventually you should/want to. I would be devoting a while epistle on that subject on my blog @Horptie.WordPress.com very soon as a full-Backon on. Thank you

    Liked by 4 people

  18. The major trust issues part is so true. If there isn’t trust, then the relationship will fail. TRUST is key.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. yesyoucan111 says:

    I found love late in life. After living more than half my lifetime.
    I found my love in a different mode than what I always have pictured. We met online in were it’s hard to trust anyone. We live in different countries and some people say that they can’t understand how I choosed a boyfriend I can’t live with.
    And I tell them. We found each other and we just happened to live in diferent countries.
    There is no other option than the one we have, and our love is not a choice. It camed to me as a gift and a surprise from life itself.

    Liked by 4 people

  20. Also society in America has become corrupt and filled with hatred

    Liked by 2 people

  21. Hey! Great post! I really enjoyed reading this. You made some very good points.

    I started dating when I was about 21. I got my first serious boyfriend at 23. We broke up after four months because of different expectations. I moved to Japan at 24. I believed I’d finally rack up so much dating experience. I wanted to enjoy the “clubbing” experience in Tokyo. Never happened.

    I met a man within 3 months of living in Japan. Through the first year, I was skeptical of this going anywhere, but he never had any doubt about me. By the time I was 26 I was married to him and we’ve been together ever since.

    It used to be my friends would go, “Ugh, marriage. No thank you! I love the freedom of being single.” They seemed to assume love would just happen when it felt right.

    But now that they’re deep in their thirties, they come to me and say, “You’re so lucky you met someone! How did you do it? Why are all the guys I meet now so creepy?” They don’t want to settle, but now they seem afraid of the “single freedom” they used to adore.

    Long story short, you’re article really resonated with me because it talks about the questions I keep hearing over and over these days, “When did it get so hard to meet someone decent?”

    It puts me in an awkward spot because they look to me for answers, like somehow because I met “Mr. Right”, I have a crystal ball that will help them do the same. I’m just like “I honestly think it was all dumb luck and crackshot timing”.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. Pingback: 5 Reasons Why It’s Hard To Date In 2016 – College and Life After

  23. mikimaree says:

    Reblogged this on College and Life After and commented:
    Loved this article by JayColby.com. Check it out !

    Liked by 2 people

  24. Peter Adewumi says:

    All your reasons stated are correct, Jaycolby, but must it stop people from going into relationship? We can not say because a car had an accident, we will not board or use one again. Trial and error brings a desired result. Go into the relationship with open eyes and brain, and do not pass the boundary, so that it would be easier to make a U-turn if there is need.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s