The decision making process is never easy no matter how much you think, rationalize and even lose sleep over making a difficult decision. Big decisions often cause serious stress in your life. A decision that can be very difficult is deciding whether to leave or stay in a relationship. We all know that there’s no such thing as a relationship without challenges. However, some stumbling blocks are merely garden-variety, while others are bona fide deal-breakers. Determining which ones are which can be tough especially if other factors are involved such as love, kids, money or the fear of starting over and being single again. This conundrum faces many people in relationships. One day everything is going good then before you know it you might be considering ending it. Although it may seem tempting to end a relationship over a few petty arguments or disagreements. I tend to believe that minor differences shouldn’t be the end of something that could potentially be great. On the other hand there are somethings that are deal breakers and should always be talking seriously. Now, usually this is the point in most of my post where, I might offer solutions for this decision and what signs you should look for before you make your decision. I might suggest to ask yourself questions like do you consider leaving, because why spend your time miserable when you only live once. Or do you consider staying, because leaving would require sacrificing your reputation, disappointing people you love, and having to start the whole “starting over” phase. How you make this decision is an essential part of what makes you, you. One is not better than the other. No matter your decision to stay or go, be as aware and deliberate as you can. Try to work on making it better life for yourself, rather than letting it make you. No one can tell you whether to stay or to go. No one has your perspective and no one can know how leaving would affect your life and what truly makes you happy. This is a difficult decision to have to make for yourself whether you elect to stay or go is truly your decision. Comment below if you have made this decision before and how did you decide whether to stay or leave.
Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved
Jay Colby 
Wow. This really does make you think about current and past relationships. So glad I stumbled across this post, thank you!
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This is definitely a situation that I can relate to …
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I have stayed because we love each other very much. He’s always there for me and we have a great relationship. The only problem is a lack of sex and that has taken a toll on the marriage.
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Such an interesting post- I have been here and it was the hardest decision I’ve ever made. I left, still loving him. But I had to as I was so unhappy. We tried again a while later, but so many things reminded me of before that I couldn’t stay, even though it broke my heart again X
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Great post! I ended up leaving because I knew it was going nowhere. Soon after I found someone much better for me 🙂
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I feel so much of it has to do with having the balls to listen and act on what our guts tell us. We know the right thing to do….. It is being able to do it.
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I didn’t make the decision to leave or stay. I was afraid to leave and I was afraid to stay. Ultimately someone made the choice for me and I was left with it whether I liked it or not. I suppose that is better in the end because I don’t think I have the balls to make a decision.
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This was a very insightful read. I have found that I have stayed away from relationships because of things like these. I consider myself very ’emotionally fragile’; I hate hurting people whether intentionally or not and since it usually involves some form of confrontation which i absolutely abhor, I tend to stay away from them. I am hoping by my next relationship I would have toughen up and be able to face things like these should they come up because I am that person who would quit a relationship after a minor argument out of fear of confrontation.
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Great post. I made the decision to leave because I realized that I could no longer sacrifice my happiness and that of my son. It was a tough decision, but my momma always said “When you get tired of eating shit, you will get up from the table.” Crude, but true.
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I left because my happiness comes first. If I am not happy I cannot make another person happy.
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I made the decision to leave as I felt like I was losing myself by making someone else happy and becoming depressed. There have been times where I want to run back but I know this is the best for me. I’m worth a lot more than that!
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What an eye opening post! I am still in limbo. My husband has been out of our marital home for a couple of weeks or so due to my choice in response to his habitual infedility; however, I still do not feel confident in my decision to divorce him. It’s hard to believe that 9 one night stands and 1 affair later, I am still not confident in my decision to leave. I secretly wish he would straighten up or leave me once and for all since I do not seem to have the courage to do it.
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I feel as though cheating in any form: emotional or physical is a deal breaker. At that point both people in the relationship should evaluate themselves and the relationship. Like you said, cheating is a choice, it is not inevitable. Someone chooses to sleep with someone else, or to talk to someone even when they know they may have feelings for them. If person X really loved person Y they wouldn’t cheat, no matter the circumstances. I think people who cheat are truthfully really dirty and it is just so disrespectful to the other person. You owe it to that person to end things, or to be honest about your feelings INSTEAD of cheating on them. If you know that the love is no longer there be upfront about it. Be honest with that. That will be hard to hear but it is a hell of a lot better than living a lie, and believing that someone loves you, only to find out that they were cheating on you. I feel like in a relationship, when you really love someone, it may be hard but you can find yourself looking past, forgiving, but never forgetting things that the other person has done that has really angered you, hurt you, or just negatively affected you because you care about them. But, when it comes to cheating, even though it is hard I know that I would have to let that person go. It is sad that people would choose to stay in a relationship after something like that happens, because it is never an accident.
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Great advice. And there is never a right answer. We can’t see into the future to see what our choice will result in.
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Reblogged this on CONSTRUCTING THE ALTER EGO and commented:
SO TRUE…
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Definitely Staying for the sake’s of Kids… and I do believe in “soulmate” kinda thing even though being seperated for almost a year now…
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All so true, great post Jay
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Thank you!
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Choose to leave when the relationship is not healthy for the both of you. 🙂 🙂 leaving or staying have a reasons too. It is maybe good or bad reason. But let us not be afraid of what we decided because God won’t leave us. Remember He stayed in us. 🙂
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True no matter our decision to stay or leave. We still have God!
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If a relationship brings out ‘the worst’ in you, it’s definitely time to let it go. I have learnt this from experience. And as much as it hurts to let go, it hurts even more to remain in a toxic relationship.
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I understand your sentiment when the relationship is toxic and brings negative energy we should leave.
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Yep. I learnt that first hand.
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I left after ‘staying’ too many times. With my ex, I stayed so many times after something hurtful happened, and it was like after each hurt I was better prepared for the next time he hurt me. So, finally I just up and left. Best decision I ever made. I didn’t realize what a relationship was supposed to be!
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Separate into separate paragraphs! This is really daunting to read as a mega long paragraph Lol. Just friendly advice 🙂
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Thank you!
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Wow, such truth in your post! I’ve had to make the hard decision of leaving certain family relationships. I had to realize that my hope & idea of a great relationship isn’t going to negate the reality of the negativity that those relationships presented. It’s never easy but sometimes leaving is necessary, as you said, you only have one life to live. Thank you for sharing!
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I agree it can be diffcut but sometimes a must. Thanks for reading!
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Yes indeed! You’re welcome!
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I’m still deciding whether I want to stay in my relationship or leave, it’s a constant back and forth struggle for me!
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God hates divorce! It has no advantage to everyone concerned. It’s like demolishing a house that is being built, and it is about to be completed. What good is in that? If you can reason together, and work on the factors that want to pull the bridge down. I know the lost unity and happiness can be restored. Commit the relationship in God’s hands, because he is the one that instituted marriage, and do whatever you can do to save the marriage. It pays because of the future generation in your care. Peace!
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Thankfully I haven’t been in this situation yet. However, when I have to make a big decision, I often consult my mum because I feel like she gives great advice. Of course God’s Word is what we can always rely on to guide us in making decisions
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I understand I always ask God’s advice. Thanks for reading & sharing!
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I always weigh out pro’s and con’s of a decision. I don’t go to others for advice, I seek God’s word. Then I take my time and make my decision based on how big or little it benefits me or others if they are involved.
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That’s a great way to look at things. Thanks for sharing!
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Anytime.
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I’m going through this questioning right now; of course, this isn’t the first time I have done it, but it seems critical right now.
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Decision making in realtionship is very tough either you wanna stay or leave.It means alot and bring a lot of stress in one’s life. your post is impressive.
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Thank you!
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brilliant post Jay…looks like you got us all thinking! 🙂
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Thanks for reading!
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Great tips Jay.
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Thank you!
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There’s a lot to be considered here, certainly food for thought!
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Thanks for reading!
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Really nice and inspiring. Totally love your blog!
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Thank you!
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Hi Jay…yes… I’ve made a decision or two. I think our soul always knows the truth. Blessings for a beautiful day.
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There is never any reason strong enough to keep oneself in any bitter relationship however it’s Easier said than done….Could relate to the things you said in your blog…Very candidly penned down..
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We all have to learn the lesson of loving ourselves enough to leave relationships that are not loving enough.
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Great post Jay. I had to make this decision to stay out of an abusive relationship. As hard as it may be to give up on love or someone, it is worth it in the end. My relationship was emotionally abusive long before it got physical, but that was it. I did it by telling those closest to me that I was done, and because I said it aloud, I held myself to it. It was hard! But now I have this newfound happiness I will never give up! 🙂
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I usually try to look at the alternative. If I decide to leave, what will I be doing that’s different from what I’m doing now? If the answer is nothing, than I might as well stay and try to work it out. If I want to leave because I feel like I have a prospect for something better, than its more of a motivator to get out. If I’m just “bored” I try to think of ways to make things more interesting. If its a legitimate clashing of differences that can’t seem to be reconciled, that seems like more of a solid reason to leave. I really try to get to the heart of the feeling and try to find out what my true motivation is. If leaving is the logical option, I get my ducks in a row. If not, I suck it up and try to make things better.
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The best decision is always to stay when it comes to married life that had produced many seeds like children, and much more, but when it comes to threatening a spouse’s life, then it takes wisdom, and it is in the hands of the soul concerned to take the right decision. Good ay!
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Follow Ur gut feeling
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