Love is one of the most profound emotions known to human beings. People express love in a variety of ways. This diversity in love and loving has made expressing and finding love in today’s society a bit complex for some people. Heterosexual love and romance in this new era reflects a change that has been evident in the roles of woman and men since the emergence of the contemporary women’s movement. Traditional roles may have been characterized by the woman being submissive and passive to her husband. However in today’s society roles have changed in a dramatic way. This change has resulted in a great deal of anxiety and uncertainty as couples try to balance traditional norms with current developments in the absence of clear-cut rules and guidelines. For some, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element in their lives, providing a source of deep fulfillment. The ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate. A great deal of evidence suggests that the ability to form a stable relationship begins in infancy, in a child’s earliest experiences with its mother and farther. Which the child relies on to meets their needs for food, care, protection, stimulation, and social contact. Those relationships are not destiny, but they appear to establish patterns of relating to others. Failed relationships happen for many reasons, and the failure of a relationship is often a source of great psychological anguish. Most of us have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make them flourish. I will explain three reasons why people have a hard time expressing their love.
- Fear of Disapproval and Rejection
A lot of people are terrified of rejection and ending up alone that you would rather swallow your feelings and put up with something or someone who really doesn’t make you happy rather than taking the chance of making anyone mad at you.
- Low Self-Esteem
You believe that you are not entitled to express your feelings or to ask others for what you want. You think you should always please other people and meet their expectations.
- Emotional Perfectionism
You believe that you should not have feelings such as anger, jealousy, depression, or anxiety. You believe that you should always be rational and in control of your emotions this can become a major issue when trying to express love.
Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.
Jay Colby 
Reblogged this on The Understanding of Dee.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I saw your comment on two of my posts linking to this one. I agree with those 3 that you listed.
I would like to add on this list based on my experience and own understanding (without confirmation):
1. I think some people are really not that expressive of what they feel. Like, maybe they are somewhat confused on what to do or how to express it because they are not used to it or they don’t really just do.
2. I think some people believe that they don’t need to express what they feel because they think they are being understood when actually not.
Just an opinion and I don’t know if anyone can relate.
LikeLiked by 4 people
I think I can really relate much this one, so far get anything a risk but you’re just afraid to do it, you make hard to express because you fear rejection most of the time. Thanks for having this article.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Reblogged this on Lady Dyanna.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Number 3 in a bad way LOL but I just tell my husband he had better love me right now or else LOL He is also a number 3 so we sit there and eye each other until I just say, You know you cant live with out me so quit pretending, and it breaks the ice., especially if he is out of town working for a few days. I find if I just throw myself at him when he walks through the door …. everything is ok 😉😆😂
LikeLiked by 4 people
What a thoughtful and interesting read. I do believe, however, that true love, on most occasions, should simply click into place. It reminds me of a quote by Doctor Suess: “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
LikeLiked by 5 people
That is a great way of looking at it. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLike
Great post my brotha keep it up man
LikeLiked by 4 people
Thank you much appreciated.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks for writing this interesting post. However, another reason I would like to point out is that cultural difference also plays a part. In East Asian countries, people tend not to confess their affection verbally as this would deem embarrassing. Only by relatively implicit, multiple actions would they express their care and love.
LikeLiked by 6 people
Thanks for reading. That’s interesting I never knew that about East Asian countries. Thanks for sharing!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Very interesting blog, and I am glad I found you. I will enjoy following you!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you I’m glad you enjoyed it!
LikeLike
Interesting and valid points- to this I would add, those who have been hurt before, will put their walls up. Also those who tend to trust logic and analysis over feelings, find it difficult to express them- being vulnerable is an uncomfortable concept. But as Mark Twain said, “Dance like nobody’s watching; love like you’ve never been hurt. Sing like nobody’s listening; live like it’s heaven on earth.” Cause that’s truly living 😉 in good time and patience- they will reach the same point.
By the way, I nominated you for the 3 Quotes for 3 Days Challenge😉 https://unibookworm.wordpress.com/2016/10/28/3-day-quote-challenge-day-1/
LikeLiked by 3 people
You make a great points about the reasons people find it hard to love. Fear of disapproval or rejection is a major one.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Absolutely disapproval and rejection are both major factors. Thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for sharing Jay
LikeLiked by 2 people
Being rational and in control of your emotions is an enormous hindrance I agree! I struggle with this most of the time. Great read, again ❤
LikeLiked by 2 people
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jay you mentioned at the very beginning of the article that the ability to express love is learnt by the child from his parents, if it is so then if he sees his parents failed in their relationship then it affects him also, he might also have commitments issue.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes that can be the case because as we grow from a child to an adult. Our childhood affects how we think, what values we have and our morals.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pingback: How Do People Express Love? | therevengewogger
This is such a great post.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you!
LikeLike
Most people express love the way they have been raised.
LikeLiked by 4 people
Great point!
LikeLike
I agree with the three reasons you pointed out. Great post!
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you!
LikeLike
I really enjoyed this read. I think I personally struggle with the fear of rejections as well as trying to have control over my own emotions, but I’m learning how to do better, and I’m learning love. Great post! 🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
I think that’s a commom struggle many of us go through. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Is it possible that the reason why people can’t express love is that they never learned how? The lexicon of love is a tricky language to master and some of the words are either unknown or misused.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Unexpressed love is the hardest choice. I believe that people will afraid to express love cause of those reasons , just nothing is such painful as regret.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Great insight. Thanks for reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I lived in a loving family where no one ever expressed love specifically … I was in my forties before I hugged my mom ( although I know I hugged her as a child). I tell my husband and son I love them all the time … but I realize you don’t have to say it to mean it and live it!
LikeLiked by 4 people
I just wrote about the love and family subject in my blog.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I enjoyed reading this post. When learning to express love, self love is so important and a great start.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Thank you for reading!
LikeLike
Wow I agree with the low self esteem part
LikeLiked by 2 people
great perspective!
LikeLiked by 2 people
I think the older you get the more past issues and hurts play a role and make us guarded in expressing our love.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Great post! Fear of rejection seems to be a huge factor for so many! Very well done 🙂
LikeLiked by 3 people
As someone that fears rejection I felt like this somewhat speaks to me, I don’t like taking risks in this department but thinking what if is worse really
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful! May be you can read my blog too.. Sometimes.. 😄
LikeLiked by 1 person