For many years the concept of finding yourself versus creating yourself has been a topic of discussion. This concept comes from a famous quote by author George Bernard Shaw “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating you”.
Finding Yourself
Many times when the topic of finding yourself is usually referenced to a “young person” just beginning their life’s journey to find their purpose, or when an older person puns about what their plans are once they “grow up.” Finding yourself suggests you are lost, confused or in a chaotic state. Often times we let the world or other influences dictate our path. This can become problematic when most of the narrative about finding yourself turns negative once we reach a certain age. This happens when society looks at us as a failure or as if we have underachieved in our lives.
Creating Yourself
Instead, many may argue that we should never “find ourselves” but we should always be creating ourselves. Most aficionados of this topic suggest that we can never create ourselves until we start to experiment uncharted territory, take risk and step out of our comfort-zone. Once we stop our “guided tours”, and start dictating where are life is headed. Which may truly help us “create” ourselves versus finding ourselves. Often times we ignore our inner thoughts to do something unlike the norm and go in a way that our heart leads us to follow our dreams and desires rather than take the safe route or easier road. These moments usually happen when we are at a crossroad or tough decisions that occur in our lives. Whatever choice we make can have a huge impact on our life.
Finding Yourself V.S Creating Yourself
When we were kids we instinctively leaned in the direction of creation. We made mud pies, finger painting and creating a whole plot-line story to play while we explored outside. We were chronicling our own course, creating something new, and finding out more about ourselves without even realizing it. This is often not the case once we reach adulthood because we have factors such as bills, life choices, families, fear of failure and different factors that don’t allow us the options to “go in the world and explore”.
Final Thoughts
It’s not easy and it’s not comfortable to create or find ourselves. Either one has it challenges and downsides but in the end it is our life and our decision. Many times we let what other people’s think change or alter what we really want to do in our life. We have decided what our path we will be and what journey we will take to achieve this. So do you spend your time trying to create yourself or find yourself? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!
Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.
Jay Colby 
First find then create. Coz if creation is overlapping, its difficult to find that person that gets buried within.
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Well said thanks for sharing!
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I found myself before I was born. I was who I am before I started writing this comment. I’m focused on creating myself by ensuring all of my actions are devoted towards pure edification. Peace and blessings, king.
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Great way to look at it thanks for sharing!
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Well said! I’m a firm believer in exploring our creative sides and ‘living’ your life in a true and honest way. Age means nothing. Thanks for such a lovely post!
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Thank you & I agree exploring is important key to create ourselves!
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Very stimulating article! If we cannot define ‘self’ objectively, then we are lost to the realm of humanistic, soulish perception–“Oh whatever, I am what I am, how can we change that? Looking in or up is the objective perspective, I think, ay-wot?” I am learning that it is not what I think of myself that matters, but what others think of me. That has to be who I am. I have created myself, but I don’t often recognize who I am because others are righteously crowding me out of my own mind. Like my spouse for instance, she demands my attention. So, I am learning to balance between her bossiness, and the real Boss and Lord Jesus, Father or Mother in heaven. LOL 🙂
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You make some great points. Thank you I’m glad you resonated with you!
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I forgot myself. 🙂
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Dear Jay,
I really enjoyed this post because it has further opened my mind to the conquest of finding myself vs creating myself.
Since reading the book Reinventing Yourself by Steve Chandler, I have been on a momentous journey to create the man I intend to become.
Every day has been a new chance for me to make a step forward and I am grateful that I have read this post as a refreshing reminder of the ability I have to create the life I desire.
Thanks for sharing, have a nice day Jay! 😎
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Thank you for taking the time out to read & comment!
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I love what you say about how children naturally lean in the direction of creation. That’s spot on, and somewhere along the way it’s like we forget how to do that. Which reminded me the Tolkien quote, ‘Not all those who wander are lost.’
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Very true as kids we are naturally creative without even noticing. Great quote thanks for sharing!
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Love this article
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Thank you I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Very interesting topic.
I think that reinventing yourself is the most fun.
Max
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Yes I agree as well thanks for sharing!
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Great article. Enjoyed reading it. Hit on so many points.
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Thank you I’m you enjoyed it!
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Excellent post – I think I’m leaning more toward creating myself as I blog and immerse myself in reading others blogs – inspiring and challenging me to do better
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Thank you I’m glad you enjoyed it!
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Reblogged this on OLUWAKEMI TOLUWALASE.
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It is definitely one of our most important journeys.
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Yes it definitely is!
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I’m just trying to figure out who I am since the death of my husband in July. Any tips?
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I’m sorry for your lost. Just try to do stuff that you enjoy doing or that you always wanted to do. This we give you the freedom to find or create yourself. Also when you feel the happiest and energized stop what you’re doing & take the time to write it down. So you can remember whatever you’re were doing at that moment!
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Jay another fantastic post and food for thought. I am not sure what i think. Find means that i was lost …which i can sort of agree with as i believe are souls and we have lost our goodness of peace purity wisdom all the good stuff.
As for create.. well i could say we recreate peace and purity in our life that we lost.
Find , create whatever it might be…as long as we are moving forward and being good human being of high character and returning to our true values and not acquired feelings of anger etc.
Great post i know my comment is a bit left field .. regards bella
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I tend to agree that as long as we are moving forward and better-educating ourselves. Then it doesn’t matter if you’re creating or finding yourself. Well said thanks for sharing!
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Beautiful post. We become our thoughts and manifest the things we pay most attention to. I completely agree that by crafting ourselves from floor up, intentionally and mindfully, we find a place for ourselves in the world with a more powerful foundation. Awesome work Jay!
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Thank you & great insight!
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beautifully written! thank you !
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Thank you!
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I love this post , actually , i think that i found myself and i’m not trying To create another Self , but To create What can make myself that i found Much better .. Lool do you get What i mean ??
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Yes I understand what you’re saying. Thanks for stopping by & taking the time to comment!
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You are welcome 💋
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yep, great, geddit!
the lose yourself to find yourself adage is cool,
always work towards your comfort zone 😉
only you know what makes you feel good… then great 🙂
xN
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Hi Jay, I nominated you for the sunshine blogger award. Refer to my blog for details. Thanks
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I love this!!! if you use any other social media sources (twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Facebook) let me know so we can connect 😘
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Thank you & yes my Twitter is https://twitter.com/JayColby7 and Facebook page is https://www.facebook.com/MotivationLife1/.
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awesome!
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There’s a whole discussion about this in social science literature. The trifecta of the perceived self (who you think you are), social self (who you are in your social group) and the projected self (how you see yourself, subjectively). All of those are constantly in flux and are subject to our interactional goals and behavioral needs and societal wants. The idea that we are ever found or lost its as much always true as it is always false. You are who you are today, but tomorrow you are no longer who you were but who you are.
If you are a Russian literature fan, you can then look to Mikhail Bakhtin who believed that we are always everyone we once were, are and ever will be. It is the carnival. We may change but the self that was before still influences who we are for good and bad; and that will continue to be true at all times as we desire for outcomes that influence our current self and our future self. The idea of getting rid of the lost self and finding the right self is liked throwing away the ingredients when you’ve just found the recipe.
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Great insight well said. I’m going to have to do some research on Mikhail Bakhtin. Thanks for sharing!
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If you’re really interested, take a look at this wiki for a quick overview of his theory of ‘dialogism.’ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialogic
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There is a mystery i tend to believe in cellular biology that i believe relates to all of life itself. When i Zygote is born in the woman there are chromosomes in it, in which there is DNA that entails what that the cells that will divide from the first will mature to as well as the ones that will divide from them, even the final picture or the stage to stage picture of what is being built is also in that DNA.
My point is i guess Mr Mikhail Had a point, that who we are is always written in us at any stage of life, Who we will be is already in us when we are born because there is already something in us that is equipped for what we will be, but even then some muscles may stay buried in your skin or a pile of fat if you do not hit the gym.
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I saw from your other post that you follow a Christian doctrine of faith. This idea is very inline with the idea of alpha and omega notion from the Bible if you put it in context to everything that is you has always been and that it will always be with you to the end.
Did you read about the artist that was picking up stray pieces of chewed bubble gum and cigarette bugs and doing DNA tests to create a collages of the faces as a work of art? They’ve just started doing that in some unsolved cold cases as well. A little DNA, an age estimate and they can put together a composite picture that strikes a rather remarkable resemblance.
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Remarkable, I wrote a eBook recently trying to relate the real nature of the relationship between God and Man and somehow the picture of cellular biology and DNA popped in there. Ill have to search for the artist. Speaking of artist. I saw a documentary about 20 year ago of an artist who painted a Muriel of himself by painting independent squares on the wall, only separated by small margins. He was intricate in each of them that each would look like a complete painting if it were to be isolated from the rest but when you pull out or zoom out with the camera that’s when you would see the real picture. I’ve searched everywhere looking for either the artist or the documentary or the painting. I didn’t even get the name cause i was still young. If you have a clue please give a heads up . It became my inspiration for my writing
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Love this post Jay. Beautiful. May i come from the christian point of of view and take a lesson from the life of the Messiah Jesus Christ. I believe from the time he was age two when he returned from Egypt he started his bible school.
It is said that from age 2 as a Hebrew child you start learning the book of Leviticus which you must be able to memorize by age six after which you can graduate to Beit Safar, for which they graduate anytime from age 10-12, then Beit Talmud and etc. When i heard all these levels of Hebrew school he had to go through growing up until he finally graduated round about the age thirty as a Rabbi with Semikah (Authority) i asked myself why. He is literally the Word of God that came in the flesh but why did he have to go through roughly 28 years of schooling to study himself literally?
I’m sure there are many reasons but i settled with this one; To give us an example that perhaps we do not know as much about ourselves as we should thus we should take time and learn ourselves before we can do anything else. He only began his ministry after age thirty, after all those years in schooling. So my belief is that finding yourself should be the foundation upon which you create yourself. Every structure needs a foundation.
With regard to mankind we tend to judge his ability by the obvious, yet i believe that your true capacity is mostly in the unseen. we say that a person is like an iceberg, that 70 % of his mass is underneath the surface, and i tend to believe that Mankind is like Christ, he was walking upon the surface of the earth as one tiny man yet the entire universe had its sustenance in him. we haven’t scraped the surface of man’s true capacity, and maybe its because we tend to build without digging. So find then create. I’m sorry for being the one obnoxious guy who wants to talk the loudest in the group!
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Very true, one of the biggest challenges in life that I wonder if we ever get a break from.
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I tend to agree because I believe we are constantly changing & evolving. Thanks for stopping by & commenting!
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At this stage in my life, I has to find myself buried under all of the other selves that people wanted me to be. Now, that I can be true to myself, and not worry about people pleasing, my creative self is shining bright.
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Very true I resonate with your statement. Thanks for sharing!
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I find myself in my creations, I lose myself when I am creating. And on it goes x
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Interesting point of view thanks for sharing!
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Reblogged this on remembertheprisonersblog and commented:
Well done!
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Interesting post and comments. I think I did a lot of finding during the first half of life. It switched to creating when I discovered the immense power of choice and the ability to rearrange my reality through changing my perception and experience.
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I completely understand once I realize that I have control over my reality then my life changed. Thank you for reading!
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Such an interesting post- food for thought!
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Thank you!
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You’re welcome!
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Amazing post! It is so hard trying to find or create yourself! I find myself struggling with this also! I believe that it makes it harder when your desired path is not as “normal” as people would expect. For instance, trying to be an entrepreneur looks like a waste of time a lot of the time to most people because of the risks involved and inconsistencies in the process versus just having a regular 9-5. It can definitely be fearful and a lot of pressure trying to keep your dream alive while life/people demand a different route!
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You have said a mouthful here! It is so easy to listen to others, especially ones we look up to and respect. But, they don’t know it all, either. I say follow your heart and not the mind of others.
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I feel like life should be a combination of both. I had to do some soul searching and “find myself” initially. Then I continued to evolve and grow and I think that’s what creating yourself is. Life is likely best as a combination of both 😊
https://stylesummitafrica.com
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Totally agree with your post wholeheartedly Jay and yes as children we always created we never found ourselves and yes as we grow older all the odds and ends have made us only finding which has become a burden. We have forgotten to create which is our real nature. Great inspiring post.👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
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I would say, I do both – finding and creating. Listening to my inner voice and trying to do that.
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Finding yourself vs Creating Yourself…
We find things to know where &what they are (like using Google)…
We find ourselves to know our purpose…
We create when we have an in depth idea of what we want… You cannot create what you have not searched for in your heart… Creativity begins with knowing what you want…
As a little child I created sand castle when am in a muddy place but first the knowing of what I want to do with those muds triggers me to creating it (sand castle)… Not until you know(find) what you want to do with yourself you cannot create yourself…..
This is how I understand it… But Jay I love your piece… Nice one, have a Blessed time
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Reblogged this on authenticitee speaks and commented:
Stellarism…had to share! Be sure to read Jay Colby’s piece below and let it marinate…e
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You make some strong points here for sure Jay. Finding yourself is something I’ve always seen as akin to finding your personality and what constitutes as who you are. For example, seeing if you’re a planner v. a pantster or more logical v. more comedic. A morning person or night owl. As far as creating yourself, I identify this with being a career choice or learning a new hobby or trade that you have always wanted to do. This could be in the form of a college degree or trade school. Again, you make some amazing points, these are just some things I added. Thanks again for an amazing post!
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As always, an excellent post. A number of years ago, I thought I had found myself. The problem is – I didn’t really like what I found. Since then, I’ve been trying to create a better person. I still have a ways to go, but with the help of people like you; I’m getting there. Thank you.
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love it! keep up the great posts!
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