Moving Forward: Letting Go Of The Past

The Pain

We’ve all been hurt before whether it was by a complete stranger, family member, close friend or significant other. It’s pretty much inevitable for us to experience some kind of emotional pain. Sometimes the pain from this can affect us in our daily lives and cause us to hold grudges, and anger towards people who in some cases did nothing to cause us pain. This can be challenging when navigating relationships both professional and personal.

The Next Step

Stuck in the past? Are you concerned about the wrongs people have done to you in the past? A lot of times it is hard to shake these depressing thoughts and not hold on to the pain that person caused. The issue then becomes much bigger than the “hurt” but what we do with it is more vital than the hurt itself. If we hold on to the pain it will only cause more pain. It’s important to ask ourselves is holding a grudge really going to help us have a happier and successful life?

Moving Forward

Our minds are one of our most powerful weapons that sometimes we don’t utilize properly. You can do anything in the world by thinking the right way. Most people want to live a life full of joy and happiness that can easily be accomplished by using our minds. If you just take the time to let go of all of the past problems, disagreements, heartache and pain and realize all those were just a stepping stone for you to move into your purpose.

Changing Our Mindset

Once you let go of the past and move forward some might ask move forward for what? The simple answer to this is to anything you want. When you finally let that hurt, pain and heartache go LITERALLY ANYTHING is possible. Now you can focus on whatever makes you happy in life which in the end is what we all want. Having a great mindset sets truly happy and successful people apart from those who never let go of the past. The thoughts you have, are vital to leaving the past behind to a truly bigger and better life.

Everyone has had some type of pain, hurt or heartache in their lives. Do you remember what yours was & how did you get past it? Comment below and if you like this post please share!

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

About Jay Colby

Some would categorize me as an entrepreneur, life coach, son, friend and all of the above. I’m just another person trying to find my way in this world. Until recently, I was unsure what my path in this life would consist of. Like many others I was between I know what I want to do but not sure if that’s what I’m supposed to do. I am currently finishing my degree in something that has nothing to do with becoming a writer or entrepreneur so automatically it qualifies me to become one right! Follow me as I go through this journey called life to impact and encourage one person at a time.
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97 Responses to Moving Forward: Letting Go Of The Past

  1. caendicott says:

    I just try to my best to let it go when I’m around the person who hurt me, and work from a place of neutrality. Most of the time it works.

    Liked by 6 people

  2. Hannah Joy says:

    Really enjoyed reading this post! When we hold on to grudges and past hurt, we are giving the people who hurt us power over our lives. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned ‘literally anything is possible when we let go.’

    Liked by 6 people

  3. Kissing Fish says:

    Losing my father caused me pain so deeply it almost took me out. For the longest time I just pretended that he wasn’t dead but visiting elsewhere. When I finally faced the truth it almost killed me to know he was never coming back. I had to do some intensive in hospital therapy to deal with my pain, grief and loss. I still miss him of course but I’ve learned how to move forward and live.

    Liked by 6 people

  4. carefreespiritfairy says:

    The way you can get rid of pain like this is to forgive . It’s not really about the other person it’s about you.

    Liked by 9 people

  5. Brilliant post. The game changer for myself in letting go comes from such readings and theory presented in any of Don Miguel Ruiz’ writings, 4 Agreements, Voice of Knowledge or Mastery of Love in particular. A central theme is not to let things be taken as personal attacks. Since implementing this, I have noticed no matter how hard I try to communicate my thoughts to another person, they’ll do with it whatever they like. Half the message is delivery, the other half interpretation. I believe this ties to letting go of the past as well and shows a certain level of integrity and maturity when you can fully say “I understand”, and “that no longer weighs me down”.

    Rafiki said it best – It doesn’t matter, it’s in the past”

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Lively Life says:

    I’ve always let things go pretty quickly. My ex has held stuff against me and in that experience I am more away of the guilt and the burdan it is to hold grudges. So I only hold something long enough to figure out what it is I can learn. Lifes a lot more freeing that way.

    Liked by 5 people

  7. You’re right. The mind is very powerful and sometimes it has a death grip on bad experiences. Letting go is an important way to maintain sanity, but the mind sometimes holds on too tightly.

    Liked by 7 people

  8. This is so timely! My husband’s family dog passed away today so I’ll share this article with him.

    Liked by 6 people

  9. Sophia Reed says:

    I agree that we have to let go of the past and move forward, that is a big apart of our mindset.

    Liked by 5 people

  10. Great post. It’s so easy to get stuck in the pain and be scared to move forward because we don’t want to get hurt again. We just have to let things be what they are and find strength from them

    Liked by 4 people

  11. Suzana Ademi says:

    Great post! 😀 I agree with what you wrote 😀 I am dealing with depression and what helped me the most was deciding to leave what happened in past behind.
    Again, great job with this post!

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Life & Student Loans says:

    Really enjoyed this! It’s much easier said than done, but everything takes a bit of effort.

    Liked by 4 people

  13. Chañel Robie says:

    There is a saying: Time heals all wounds, for me, all I needed was time. When I was in the situation or even directly after it, I felt like I wanted to die but as time went by and my energies were refocused, I realized that slowly I had began to let go… Time and God truly heals the wounds of the willing and needy.

    Liked by 7 people

  14. The Power Of The Mind By Verity Vyas says:

    Very true. A good post. I over came that point by changing the way I see hardships and disappointments in life. I understood that I am not in charge of others behaviour. So why am I thinking of them and hurting myself?

    Liked by 5 people

  15. Agreed – It’s really good to be reminded that we can change our thinking and, as a result, change our life. Good read 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  16. sanchitrao says:

    Hi Jay. Thanks for liking my first post. So here I am reading yours. This post of yours was short, simple and effective. I totally agree with you here, so important to let go of the past. its like an extra baggage that you carry. Whats even more hard is forgiveness. I had couple of friends who betrayed me and I held on that grudge for a long while. So it was a good read. How about you dwell more on this. Maybe your own experience if any? All the best.

    Liked by 3 people

  17. Ruby Gee says:

    I completely agree that it’s a mindset along with giving it time to heal. I think people should be willing to talk about it more and those listening shouldn’t be so quick to judge. Before and after my divorce I just had to surround myself with friends that didn’t know anything about what happened as a fresh start too which helped. It took time to completely let go as I thought about my future and what I wanted to do with the rest of my life but realized it started with my present actions!! Thanks Jay for your great post!!

    Liked by 3 people

  18. Loved this reading. I’ve only recently learnt to let go of the past.

    Liked by 3 people

  19. The Cool Mom says:

    It’s all about forgiveness. Once you forgive them, even if they don’t apologize, you won’t hurt anymore.

    Liked by 4 people

  20. Tikeetha T says:

    Great post! Yep, I remember. I got through with Jesus, wine and therapy.

    Liked by 3 people

  21. Tis’ true. Letting go of the past is definitely one of the decision which propelled me forward in life towards making changes and living again.

    It IS a very elusive mindset (Hanging onto the past!) and even though we won’t see the effects, we can definitely feel it without realizing it, if that made sense at all lol!

    But good post btw, as are the other stuff I’ve seen so far on your site/blog! I see that we got a lot of similar trends in our sites so I would definitely love a chance to collaborate sometime in future.

    Keep up the good work bud. You’d be seeing me around for a bit heh. Oh and thanks for visiting my site too!

    Cheers!

    Your pal,
    Benjamin

    Liked by 3 people

  22. Still reading
    And I’m loving these!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. sistahsai says:

    I am glad you made this post. I needed to read this. You are very inspirational! Thank you for sharing! (:

    Liked by 4 people

  24. geminilvr says:

    Forgiveness brings a sense of peace

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Eri Hunt says:

    Wow this is exactly what I’ve had to deal with for a long time . But i had to change my mindset then my heart changed . So i would be able to move on and be happy.

    Liked by 4 people

  26. Reblogged this on Oluwakemi Toluwalase and commented:
    Thanks or inspiring me, Jay. 👌

    Liked by 2 people

  27. This was a great read! I have been going through some struggles myself lately and have started writing about them in a humorous way because that is the only way I know how to. Give my blog a look if you like!

    Liked by 3 people

  28. thoughtcascadeblog says:

    Forgive. Its the only route. If you can’t forgive someone you are sticking yourself into the position of judge and like you have never done anything wrong yourself. Forgiveness means you recognize another persons weakness and while you may not want to have anything to do with them ever again, you don’t judge them for being wek.

    Liked by 2 people

  29. jermiah.luther2 says:

    Amazing post! Please consider checking out my post “Five Questions For Moving On” Very similar topic and I worked very hard on it! Thanks 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  30. You are such a great write! I remember how much it hurt when I lost someone, but overtime I got better. Everything takes time..

    Liked by 2 people

  31. Diana M says:

    I was hurt by a friend because I expected her to do something which she didn’t and I guess I thought it was my entitlement.
    Moving past pain or hurt isn’t at all easy and this is a great post to show how one can at least try to get past it. Nice write up 👍🏾

    Liked by 3 people

  32. Great post. Mindset a very powerful tool. And i think somethung that has to be worked on daily. Great post thanks for sharing regards bella

    Liked by 3 people

  33. Of course you are right but it’s not always that easy to do it. I have been fairly successful though.
    I wish you a fine Sunday!

    Liked by 2 people

  34. prinxy says:

    . …..You can do anything in the world by thinking the right way. …..
    Nice Words… Lovely post

    Liked by 1 person

  35. I used to hate my previous bosses in making decisions. But then I get used to it and instead of whining, I thoughr of a plan to resign rather than being under them for a long time.

    Liked by 2 people

  36. doodlessworld says:

    Yes. My best friend abandoned me for reasons which are a still a mystery to me. It was and it is painful to live without her. But i am learning 🙂
    and wrote a post on this.
    would Like it if you woulr read it 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  37. Just wanted to say this is an excellent blog, and this post comes at the time when I needed to read it – thank you! xx

    Liked by 3 people

  38. Wenonah says:

    Very well written. I agree completely. I always try to keep in mind that negative thoughts done produce anything positive, it’s only thinking positively that can do that! It’s about training your mind and your thought patterns. This doesn’t happen overnight usually, but it’s always well worth it!

    Liked by 4 people

  39. I am not in the habit of reading other people’s comments before writing my own. My opinion is from my own thoughts without influence and usually are not of the norm.

    I would agree that letting go of anger is a must, but not before justice is received to balance the scales. There is a fine line between seeking retribution and seeking justice. Retribution is to exact punishment for a perceived wrong. Whereas, justice is the doing to the other as they have done to you, a seeking of a reaction for the action if you will.

    Personally, I feel that those who promote letting go and moving on is liken to Nancy Regan’s slogan, “Just Do It.” Those who are wired to be silent victims are less convinced that there must be a consequence when a boundary is crossed, whether it be a verbal tongue lashing or withholding something the transgressor wants.

    Only after I feel that I have received what I need from an offender, keeping my behavior within the bounds of what is morally and ethically correct, is the only way I will rationalize some way to forgive and let go, but without the need to forget.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Maya Moore says:

      I am curious cynthialynn what would you say about situations where justice is delayed? Years even as is the case with our judicial system often? Some people will end up waiting a life time for the scales to be balanced for various offenses. Who can afford to hold onto that much anger?

      Liked by 2 people

      • Cynthia Lynn says:

        I may have written my comment in such a way as to be misconstrued. Specifically, letting go of anger is a must for one’s own health, to do that I remember MLK – “Unearned suffering is redemptive.” I believe forgiveness is not a necessity, in fact, forgiveness should be requested or earned not freely given. I have not forgiven nor have I forgotten those who transgressed my trust and that fact has not held my happiness hostage; believing that they have lost more than they have taken. Karma may not be swift but it is assured and if I must wait my lifetime then I will wait.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Maya Moore says:

        Thanks for explaining further!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Cynthia Lynn says:

        The ability to go reread what one wrote is the gift of a writer. Being an emotionally reactive person, I must ask myself to reconsider the idea of forgiveness. Two months ago, while hospitalized for depression, my nephew stole my property. His betrayal was devastating both emotionally and financially. Remembering my regret to not have forgiven my mother before her death has turned into a need to forgive myself. Life is confusing for one who overthinks.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Maya Moore says:

        I agree! And I’m sorry to hear about the experience with your nephew. I can relate to feelings of unforgiveness towards your mom.

        I think often there are some mis-conceptions about forgiveness. Often we are told to forgive and forget and move on with our lives, but forgiveness is a process not and overnight event to be rushed. A lot of hurts have been a lifetime in the making so it’s foolish to think you can forgive over night.

        I also agree that we should not always forget what happened. For me there’s been times I’ve worked towards forgiving someone for something but I’ve kept the memory of what happened to observe if there is a similar pattern of offense developing. We’re called to protect and look of for ourselves as well as others. And some ppl use the excuse of forgiveness to keep on offending honestly.

        Anyway now I think I shall write a blog about this because it seems I have a lot to say, lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Cynthia Lynn says:

        Well, we seem to be on the same road. Over these last days, the concept of forgiveness has circled my mind. Ultimately, I had to question what is forgiveness? Is there a process one follows or is forgiveness something you feel?

        Reflecting on these questions, I realized I have no idea what it is to forgive, and worse is the feeling I have a need to forgive myself. Once I finish over-thinking forgiveness, I will need to travel this course and, like yourself, write a blog. Whether it is true things happened for a purpose, I am grateful you questioned my reasoning, thank you, Maya.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Maya Moore says:

        You’re welcome! That’s what friends are for.

        Like

  40. Ali Grimshaw says:

    It is essential to remember that is always my choice to move on or stay stuck. Our minds have a hard time believing that this can be done. Thank you for providing the space for others to reflect on this topic. Well done.

    Liked by 2 people

  41. Pingback: Moving Forward: Letting Go Of The Past — Jay Colby | Lady Dyanna

  42. This post is 100% accurate, it’s all in the mind! but sometimes you get stuck in the cloud of hurt that you can’t see the option of moving forward is within your reach…Great post!

    Liked by 3 people

  43. Why are all your posts so good!!!! Keep it up 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽

    Easiest way to get rid of pain is to forgive. Well forgiving people that aren’t even sorry is actually pretty hard to do but it’s something you have to do if you want to be free. It’s like a weight is lifted off your shoulders when you just let things go. We hold ourselves back by holding on to the past .

    Liked by 4 people

  44. Could you please tell me – how do your posts, that I have liked and commented on, in the past, show up again, at the top of my reader? I have always greatly enjoyed your blog and this made me curious, as all your posts keep coming back. I don’t mean to bother you …just wanting to learn what I don’t know.

    Like

  45. Scarlett79 says:

    The past 5 years have been so hard, I really don’t think I will ever let go and return to my happy place. If only, regret after regret after regret …

    Liked by 1 person

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