A few weeks ago, I received an email from one of my readers who reached out to me and asked “How can I reach my goals.” This is a common question that I get often they also said “everyone around me are achieving their goals and accomplishing their dreams… and I’m just stuck in the same place for the last five years.” This conundrum is something many of us go through especially since the invention of social media. Where you can see the often overdramatize version of success at the touch of our fingertips. Sometimes we compare ourselves to others, when we see them succeed at something we want to do.
For example, let’s say someone who has an amazing blog and a huge following of over 100,000 people, and I look at my blog and following and start to think I don’t measure up. This type of thinking can only alter and change my mindset towards my own blog. Often times when we do this type of comparison we don’t take into consideration that the other person might have done this for 10 years and until the last two wasn’t at the level we see them at today.
Here are four reasons we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others.
- It’s Unfair – One thing that is difficult to learn is comparisons are unfair, because life isn’t a level playing field. We all come from different backgrounds, upbringings and we face different obstacles throughout life. For example, if someone is born into a wealthy family who parents both have their own businesses will most likely have a completely different journey to someone who comes from a working-class family who may not have resources of the first family. In the end we’re all running the same race, but aren’t all on the same track.
- Be Yourself – This is a cliché narrative that we’ve all heard at least 1,000 times in our lives, but bear with me. As we all know every person on this earth are different and just as incomparable you’re, your journey is as well incomparable. Everyone path is different even if you’re trying to arrive at the same place, but you might be on different roads.
- It’s a Waste of Energy – The energy and time we put into comparing ourselves to others is truly a waste of time. The time we’re putting into their lives we could be focusing on our own and the future goals we’re working towards.
- Be Present & Thankful – Sometimes we’re overly focused on the future and where we want to be. Instead of being upset or indifferent about our current situation we have to learn to be thankful for where we’re at the moment.
Final Thoughts
In the end, we live in a society where we’re obsessed with measurements: height, weight, bank account, status in life, GPA etc. Therefore, we have to keep our minds away from that train of thought and start looking at life for what makes us happy and fulfilled. Whether that’s learning something new, helping people or being a great parent. We have to find our purpose and go after that instead of chasing people, material things i.e. money, cars or status in life.
What are your thoughts? Comment below and if you enjoyed this article please share!
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Well knitted thoughts here, thanks for sharing.
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Very well said. It’s a waste of time time and energy which also adds to emotional distress when we compare ourselves to other’s success.
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We not only compare ourselves because we see someone in a position we want in life. We also compare ourselves because the person who is in the position we want to be in we feel we can beat. We say, “I’m better than that guy, why is there and I am here?” We can’t move forward because we’re so focused on the materialization of others. Or even focused on trying to tear one down to lift ourselves. It’s like that mentality of your success is my failure.
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awesome advice and a good reminder on a Monday morning !
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Great post and great advice
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Very informative post. Deep observation you have. Thanks
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Great true words Jay Colby. We ruin our lives comparing ourselves to others. Life would be neat and clean by considering our own best as our bench mark to succeed in future.
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Perception can be very decieving. Concentrate on making you the you that you can be, Very good post.
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To admit reality, we have to accept the concept of individuality. Every individual is unique and shouldn’t be compared.
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Thank you so much for this inspiration.
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Thanks for reading!
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Love this post! I often find myself comparing my work to others’, and simply put, it’s just not healthy. This was a great reminder. Thanks for sharing, Jay!
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It’s truly time wasting comparing someone’s success to your middle or your beginning. Lovely post and so true
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It is definitely easy to get in the rut of comparing yourself to others, and it just creates an unpleasant downward spiral. I think it’s good to remind everyone to not focus on the negative and work with what you have.
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This is a great article and really calls us to think about who we are and what is really important. I agree that we need to take “be yourself” more literally and accept that we are all unique.
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I admit, I used to compare. Now I don’t anymore. It’s just a waste of energy and I need to focus on myself.
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Such a great post. Each individual has his/her own graph. We cannot really compare one person’s journey to another.
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Comparing ourselves to others is definitely a waste of energy. I spent a lot of time comparing myself to my friends and my peers when I was younger and I’m glad I made the journey and realized what I’m worth.
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This is such wonderful food for thought. Once you get in the comparison game, it’s hard to extract yourself back out. We are each unique individuals and have our own lives to live. It’s fabulous to be inspired by someone, but we need to focus more on the things that make us truly special.
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I’m going to be honest … compairing my success with others is something I struggle with. But I love your outlook on it. Bookmarking so I can come back to these when I need 😀
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This is true! I believe we have different phase and expertise. Let others be our motivation.
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Love it! I believe in inspiring people tho stand out as be who they were made to be. I like that you list the reasons not to be anyone else, great tactic. Simple, good and to the point advice.
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This post highlights just the points we all need to hear! You’re right on saying that it’s important to be yourself. The world anyway has too many measurements of right and wrong, what to do and what not to. It’s good to stop comparing and start growing. Cheers!!
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so many want to be somebody else instead of concentrating on what they have and who they are… such a shame. good post
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You totally have a point out there. No one knows how your life is. Everyone has there own goals in life and their own expectations. Each one is different. Its how you choose to live your life and what your definition of a happy life is.
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There are just things we can fix and things we can’t. My weight yes but my height not so much. The older I get the less I compare myself to others.
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They are all great tips! I guess we always tend to compare ourselves to other, even just a bit coz we need points of reference. But everybody is different so others’ success should just inspire us rather than make us feel bad about ourselves
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Comparing yourself to someone else is a slippery slope. Almost nothing about the two of you are the same. Be yourself and be happy; that is it!
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I agree that we should be ourselves and stop comparing with others. It’s not healthy to be keeping up with the Joneses. We’re all unique individual with our own different sets of goals and mindset.
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I totally agree . one should never compare to others. everyone is different and everyone is capable of doing something in life in their own way.
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Very good article, good to read. Yes I agree never compare yourself to someone else, you should always compare yourself to yourself from last year, how you improved or what did you change in your life based on your target you have set
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When I want to compare myself, I do exactly what you do. I remind myself of all the things I’m grateful for. We can often forget all the good in our lives.
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Thanks for the inspiration. As a new blogger I often find myself comparing my work to others. I realize they no one started out in top. I understand that my perspective has a place as well. I will continue to write and grow in the craft.
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It is wasteful energy! And being thankful for what you have is very important in being happy!
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Well said. It’s a waste of time and energy to compare yourself to others. As long as I do my best and do what makes me happy, that’s fine for me.
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You hit the nail on the head! These are some very important and powerful points to get focused on our own success, while supporting and celebrating it in others!
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These are all great tips. I agree that in the world that we live in now, it is easy to look at people and compare yourself to what they have going on. You will drive yourself crazy if you do that.
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Comparison is the killer of dreams, self-confidence, & self-esteem. And importantly, it sends a message to God & others that you believe He failed you in some way and that He messed up when He created you. Great post and I can tell it is coming from the heart!
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I completely agree with all of your points! Well written! My favorite which is something I will use more is to “Be present and thankful.”
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Truly enjoy this piece. It’s something far easier said than done, especially in today’s society. But to have a reminder and some simple points to keep you focused on you are all the rave! I love this so much. Thank you ❤
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Ah, I needed to read this today. So many times I find myself comparing what I’m doing to what others are doing. I get the whole, be you. But sometimes we let the thoughts in our heads get the best of us. Thank you for the reminder!
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I always say this! Comparison doesn’t breed happiness. There’s no point of it. You’re not meant to be like others. You’re meant to be who you’re called to be.
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Wow! This is somehow great! It really hit me. A LOT. Thank yah for sharing this wonderfull idea of yours.
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Thanks Jay, what a great post. This world of comparing ourselves to others is driven by social media, we need to learn how to switch off and do more constructive things with our lives, like reading great blogs like yours 😉
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