Over the past decade or so there has been ad campaigns, infomercials and “financial freedom guru’s” who’s idea of obtaining wealth has been commercialize. Therefore, causing many of us to develop more and more interest in obtaining this “freedom” that wealth can bring.Many of us have seen the infomercials where it’s some guy on a jet ski talking about how he went from sleeping on his or her parent’s coach and now he owns a huge house and jet ski. Or more common in today’s internet age where those same type of narrative is displayed through Facebook or YouTube ads.
We’ve all been hurt before whether it was by a complete stranger, family member, close friend or significant other. It’s pretty much inevitable for us to experience some kind of emotional pain. Sometimes the pain from this can affect us in our daily lives and cause us to hold grudges, and anger towards people who in some cases did nothing to cause us pain. This can be challenging when navigating relationships both professional and personal.
The Next Step
Stuck in the past? Are you concerned about the wrongs people have done to you in the past? A lot of times it is hard to shake these depressing thoughts and not hold on to the pain that person caused. The issue then becomes much bigger than the “hurt” but what we do with it is more vital than the hurt itself. If we hold on to the pain it will only cause more pain. It’s important to ask ourselves is holding a grudge really going to help us have a happier and successful life?
Our minds are one of our most powerful weapons that sometimes we don’t utilize properly. You can do anything in the world by thinking the right way. Most people want to live a life full of joy and happiness that can easily be accomplished by using our minds. If you just take the time to let go of all of the past problems, disagreements, heartache and pain and realize all those were just a stepping stone for you to move into your purpose.
Changing Our Mindset
Once you let go of the past and move forward some might ask move forward for what? The simple answer to this is to anything you want. When you finally let that hurt, pain and heartache go LITERALLY ANYTHING is possible. Now you can focus on whatever makes you happy in life which in the end is what we all want. Having a great mindset sets truly happy and successful people apart from those who never let go of the past. The thoughts you have, are vital to leaving the past behind to a truly bigger and better life.
Everyone has had some type of pain, hurt or heartache in their lives. Do you remember what yours was & how did you get past it? Comment below and if you like this post please share!
Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.
About a week ago I was doing some research for my up-coming podcast show. When an associate of mine asked me “Why is it when we are pursuing our dreams some people especially family always bring up having a backup or a more stable plan”. This was an interesting question that I pondered for a few days. Some may contend that the reason why someone might mention having a backup plan is, because they want to see the best in us and don’t want us to make mistakes or take too many risks. On the other hand some may see it as that person doesn’t truly believe in whatever we are trying to achieve even though they may support. This brings up the question is there a difference between supporting someone versus believing?
What is Belief?
We all know when it comes to pursuing a goal, dream, or taking a chance in our lives. There will be people in our lives who will differ in their opinion on the reality of our plans. Some may support but don’t believe in our aspirations. This can become an issue when we tell our family, friends and significant others our dreams. When someone closes to us doesn’t “truly believe” in whatever we are pursuing can cause us to have self-doubt. The definition of believe states “have faith or feel sure that (someone) is capable of a particular action”. This simply means trusting that without a shadow of a doubt that whatever dream we are pursuing will happen.
What is Support?
The definition of support states “to give help or assistance”. This simply means that you are helpful and optimistic in some cases. This can be common, because it can be challenging for someone to see our vision we have for our lives. This is when it is important to be mindful of who we tell our plans and dreams to. This piggyback to the question is there a difference between support and believing?
In the end when we’re conveying our plans or vision we have to always be aware of who we are telling. Some people are naturally negative I like to refer to them as “Negative Nancy” or “Negative Nate”. If we encounter these type of people we should keep our vision away from them especially in the early stages. Do you think there is a difference between is there a supporting someone versus believing? Comment below & if you like this post please share!
Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.
Everyone faces some type of “crossroad” in their life. Facing a crossroad can be very overwhelming and can cause anxiety. One of the most complicated tasks any of us will face in life is the concept of making the right decision. Every few seconds we have the opportunity to change our lives, our family lives, our careers and our well-being. By having this seemingly great opportunity to affect our lives in many different aspects can seem very promising. On the other hand it can be an enormous weight on our shoulders, because our lives and our families can be forever changed based on the decisions we make when we face a crossroad.
The small decisions are simple. You may not even notice you are making them, for example if you’re hungry you might stop at a local fast-food restaurant to grab a bite to eat. This act is probably a regular occurrence for many of us and does not require much thought. Our brain has an efficient way of going into auto-pilot on tasks we deem to be insufficient. On the contrary “crossroads” are the decisions that you can’t go into auto-pilot with that may require deep thought and detailed analysis. When you don’t know how the outcome will affect you and making such a large decision based on your gut or intuition may be the only option. These decisions are usually where the only help others can give you is common sense like “Do whatever makes you happy”. Attempting to control, manipulate or force things to happen is a typical response to the fear that comes with change. Some of us are so fearful of change that we refuse to make a change without understanding that even if we choose not to make a decision or take action, this in and of itself is a choice.
This can become problematic because life is all about changes and moving forward. We all know, deep within ourselves, what we need to do what we know during times of change or crossroads we may face. We can learn to access and trust our innate wisdom; it is personal and always available. Through this, we will know how to adjust our course, move toward our personal destiny. When we don’t follow our inner guidance, we feel a loss of power and energy.Life’s crossroads create opportunity for us to choose between different options, and when we see someone embracing the moment when choices are decided upon, it can be awe-inspiring. A crossroads is about change. Choices must be made not just when things are not working out as we had planned, but also during positive moments when we must choose to continue the course or veer off into something new. When we experience an ending relationship, a change in careers, political upheavals, or challenges with our health, the crossroads we find
Have you ever found yourself in a position where all you have worked toward is right in front of you, but instead of a simple black and white decision you were presented with a handful of options? Comment below how you made your decision and what was the outcome.
Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved
For many years the concept of finding yourself versus creating yourself has been a topic of discussion. This concept comes from a famous quote by author George Bernard Shaw “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating you”.
Many times when the topic of finding yourself is usually referenced to a “young person” just beginning their life’s journey to find their purpose, or when an older person puns about what their plans are once they “grow up.” Finding yourself suggests you are lost, confused or in a chaotic state. Often times we let the world or other influences dictate our path. This can become problematic when most of the narrative about finding yourself turns negative once we reach a certain age. This happens when society looks at us as a failure or as if we have underachieved in our lives.
Instead, many may argue that we should never “find ourselves” but we should always be creating ourselves. Most aficionados of this topic suggest that we can never create ourselves until we start to experiment uncharted territory, take risk and step out of our comfort-zone. Once we stop our “guided tours”, and start dictating where are life is headed. Which may truly help us “create” ourselves versus finding ourselves. Often times we ignore our inner thoughts to do something unlike the norm and go in a way that our heart leads us to follow our dreams and desires rather than take the safe route or easier road. These moments usually happen when we are at a crossroad or tough decisions that occur in our lives. Whatever choice we make can have a huge impact on our life.
Finding Yourself V.S Creating Yourself
When we were kids we instinctively leaned in the direction of creation. We made mud pies, finger painting and creating a whole plot-line story to play while we explored outside. We were chronicling our own course, creating something new, and finding out more about ourselves without even realizing it. This is often not the case once we reach adulthood because we have factors such as bills, life choices, families, fear of failure and different factors that don’t allow us the options to “go in the world and explore”.
It’s not easy and it’s not comfortable to create or find ourselves. Either one has it challenges and downsides but in the end it is our life and our decision. Many times we let what other people’s think change or alter what we really want to do in our life. We have decided what our path we will be and what journey we will take to achieve this. So do you spend your time trying to create yourself or find yourself? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!
Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.
We’ve all heard the same advice to get out of our “comfort zone” to stretch ourselves and try new things. Most people agree with this statement but what do we really know about the comfort zone besides its uncomfortable and we need to get out of it. We’re ruled by our habits. We do things the same old way because it’s comfortable. But the risk in staying firmly inside our comfort zones is that it creates psychological barriers that can lead to real limitations. There are many different scientific explanations of what exactly the comfort zone is, but simply put it is a behavioral space where activities and behaviors fit a certain routine and pattern that minimizes stress and risk levels. It provides a state of mental security. You benefit in obvious ways: regular happiness, low anxiety, and reduced stress. On the other hand having a comfort zone mindset can cause complacency in many different areas of your life.
In many cases what keeps many of us from getting everything we want in life and more are the reluctance to change. A lot of times we want to minimize the stress that may be caused by breaking the norm and making changes that may be risky. Sometimes it can be justified because life is stressful enough just living our daily lives. However, we may know in our heart of hearts that the job or relationship is not right for us. We endure them because we fear what is next, or stuck in a fixated pattern based in our past experiences. Whatever it may be anyone can break out of their comfort zone and create positive change. Here are six ways you can break out of your comfort zone and into the greatness you deserve.
1. Knowing & Accepting What’s Outside of Your Comfort Zone:
Simply said what are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure. Once you accept this it is the first step to getting past this anxiety.
2. Do What Scares You Every Day:
Do something every day that scares you. This would be a powerful step this would be to make a conscious effort to take this step. It can open up all possibilities maybe new friendships or new opportunities.
3. Embrace Failure:
Many of us are so afraid of failure, that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams. Begin to treat failure as a lesson that you can learn from. The next time you fail ask yourself questions like what did I learn from the experience? How can I take that lesson to your next venture to increase my chance of success?
4. Change Your Mindset:
This is a huge step when we change our thoughts we can improve our mindset. This takes mental stamina and discipline. A helpful way to start retraining your mind is by thinking and reading positive messages this helps to create a desire on whom you want to become and say them every day. Eventually these affirmations will become a part of your belief system.
5. Make A Bold Move Towards Your Dreams:
Sometimes we just need to put our best foot forward and take a risk with great risk there is also great reward. For example, many people dream to leave their eight to five job to pursue a hobby that has been a passion of theirs for years. They just need to figure out how to make it happen. The first step is to set reasonable time limits on yourself to reach or pursue certain goals. Once you done this you can start on the road to getting out of your comfort zone.
6. Connect/Network With Other Risk Takers:
This is an very important step if you want to learn or become better at something there is no substitute for simply knowing people who are doing what you want to do and start asking questions and emulating them.
Your comfort zone is neither a good or bad thing. It’s a natural state that most people trend towards. Leaving it means increased risk and anxiety, which can have positive and negative results, but don’t demonize your comfort zone as something holding you back. We all need that head-space where we’re least anxious and stressed so we can process the benefits we get when we leave it. Always remember only courageous people accomplish their dreams. This applies to big dreams, and also to simple everyday dreams. If you enjoyed this post comment below if you have stepped out of your comfort zone and what was the results. Also if you liked this post don’t forget to like and please share!
Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.
If you haven’t noticed that we live in a negative world, you just haven’t been paying attention. Whether it’s social media, news outlets, movies or just mainstream society there are countless number of negative images displayed in the world today. These negative influences have been especially evident during the past couple of years with the emergence of various news stories that have portrayed a negative narrative. These stories have created many debates, discussions and in some cases violence such as the apparent police brutality cases that have spread over many news stations over the past couple of years. Not to mention the presidential campaign that has brought up many negative and tasteless messages. Then if you add in things like sickness, the loss of a job, or marriage problems, and you can easily see where over time the pressures of the world have caused some of us to lose our positive outlooks and steal the love and joy from our life.
It is very easy to let all these negative influence’s get us down and have us in a state of self-pity but it is imperative for us to stay positive despite the negativity that surrounds us. It is our decision to stay positive. It is our decision to live in peace, not in frustration with the way things are going. We make hundreds to thousands of decisions every day. Such as, when to wake up, what to wear, what to eat, what to work on and what to put off for another day, what to watch, read or listen to. We can’t get away from making choices. The world around us may be negative we may hear it daily where its gas prices rising, economy getting worse , real estate sales down ,food prices rising, which political candidate will become the next president and on and on it goes. In light of all the things that may be going on around us being positive is a crucial component to having a successful and happy life. This was one of my main purposes of starting this website to be a positive outlet for anyone reading my post to show the world that there still is some positivity left in this world.
Here are a few techniques that can be used to maintain a positive outlook when the world seems so incredibly negative:
- Control The Negative People In Your Life:
This is very essential to having a positive outlook because if you surround self with what I like to call “Negative Nancy’s”. It can bring you down and have your mind fill with negative thoughts. Make sure the people you surround yourself with are people who bring out the absolute best in you, not people who drag you down.
- Pray / Meditate:
This is a key component to staying positive its gives you another outlet to relive some of the daily stress. A simple two-phrase prayer can sometimes lift all the negativity off your shoulders.
To simply laugh sometimes does the body well like medicine because laughter causes you to stay in present moment and enjoy it.
Sometimes it’s good to get away from friends, family, social media, TV and our cell phone and shut down and just give our mind a break.
Lastly there is nothing left to do but take action and begin improving your life and the people around you. If people live good lives, the allure of living in a negative way is suddenly gone. And remember, everyone does better when everyone does better. Comment below if you live your life with a positive outlook or is it a struggle to do so. Also if you liked this post don’t forget to like and please share!
Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved