Does Money Matter When Dating?

When it comes to money we all know that we need it to survive. Without money we would go without food, shelter, clothes and many other necessary things we need to live a wonderful and abundant life.  However, when it comes to dating money can be problematic either having too little or in some cases having an excessive amount of money.

Should We Ask?

Often times in dating there is a period where we are just getting to know someone and they peek our interest. We have started dating them and we see a future with this person. At this point some may argue that we should then ask “how much money do you make” or a more slick way around the question is “what do you do for a living”. Now asking harmless questions are not a big deal, because we are simply making conversation.  The problem comes into play when we get an answer we don’t like such as “ I’m a fast food worker” or “I’m currently job searching”.

Should We Date someone Outside  Our ‘Tax Bracket’

There are many marriage counselors, life coaches and aficionados of dating would say not to limit our dating prospects by putting a cap on who we can date. Many people have different opinions on this subject a few weeks ago while doing research for my upcoming podcast show I had this discussion with about forty different woman and about twenty different men.  I found their answers quite interesting and thought-provoking the majority of the woman I asked said “they wouldn’t date anyone who made less than them.  This was interesting because it differed from some of the research I’ve done on the particular topic. Men on the other hand matched my research perfectly by all twenty of the men saying they really don’t care how much money their partner makes as long as they are successful.

Does Money Matter?

Now some may make the claim that “money doesn’t matter and we should look on the inside of a person’s heart and not their wallet”. Others may say “Love don’t pay the bills” both statements have some truth to them and in my opinion deserves a middle ground. Saying money doesn’t matter at all is a bit of a stretch, but money being the only factor whether we decide to date someone or not is also problematic.

Final Thoughts

In the end money does matter to a certain extent, but shouldn’t be the determining factor in choosing to date someone or not.  So the question still remains does money matter when dating?  Comment your thought below in the comment section & if you liked this post please share!

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved

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Networking + Share Your Blog

I just want to take this time to thank everyone who reads, subscribers and shares my site. I appreciate all the support and encouragement.I would love to read everyone’s blog, but I don’t always get a chance to read and follow everyone’s blog.

So today I want to offer a networking opportunity and a chance for all bloggers no matter what niche or experience a chance to gain more traffic. Anyone who wants to gain free traffic can participate. All you have to is comment your blog below & I will follow every blog and actually read your content. So if you’re interested just comment your blog’s URL below. Also If you could share and re-blog this post so we can reach as many bloggers as possible!

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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5 Tips to Stay Inspired When Times Get Tough

We all have been through rough patches in our life where we needed some inspiration to get through the day. Rather it was stress on our jobs or going through a crossroad in our lives. We all have been though times were we felt like giving up. Here are five tips to stay inspired when times get tough.

  1. Positive Self-Talk:

This can be difficult especially when times are tough and it seems like nothing is going right. Staying positive is important so we do not fall into the trap of “negative thinking”. Even when we are going through staying positive can make this rough patch a little easier.

  1. Read inspirational Quotes & Articles:

This is a great way to help change our thoughts and mindset when we’re experiencing tough times.  Most aficionado’s recommend reading at least 3 quotes when wake up in the morning and three before we go to sleep.

  1. Meditate:

Sometimes we all just need a mental break. We get so caught up in the challenges of life and we don’t allow ourselves to “take a deep breathe”. Meditation can be very simple all we have to do is go into a quiet and comfortable space, relax our mind, close our eyes and take a deep breath.  Then think positive thought and reflect on all the great things we have going on in our lives.

  1. Make a Plan:

This might seem cliché but having a plan to overcome tough times is vital to getting out of this rut. When we take the time to plan it allow us to think of the “bigger picture” from beginning to end. We can start this process by writing out our to-do list the night before and identify the three most important things that you must accomplish the next day and start with those first.

  1. Appreciate Where You Are Now:

Learn to live in a state of appreciation and gratitude. Acknowledging the value within the struggle or the point we are at now. When we are worrying and dreading our situation we can sometime get overwhelming. Then we should stop and dwell on them for a while. Remember the happiness and joy. Bring the feelings into the present moment.

Final Thoughts

In the end regardless of what we go through it is imperative we keep a positive mindset and focus that whatever it is won’t last always. I always refer to a quote that states “We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future”. This is a great reminder that no matter what we can overcome anything.

 

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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The Debate: Should College Be Free For Everyone?

Over the past few years there has been much debate over whether college tuition has risen to a level where many people are wondering is college worth the cost. College tuition has continuously increased for the past twenty years. Thus, making parents, current college students and even some college graduates reevaluate the importance of college. Not to mention the job market for graduates with a four-year degree are not as promising as in earlier generations. Forcing many students to consider getting an advanced degree which still does not guarantee finding a job in their particular field of study. After all, many Americans have the dream of living the “American Dream” go to college, then get a good job, followed by getting married and having 2.5 kids. However, the economic state of the country has many Americans in a state of confusion. Although some Americans will agree that the system of higher education is working well, many have differing opinions on the subject.

College affordability is often among the top concerns. When the cost of attending college, university, or trade school is too high. Therefore causing a lot of students to simply choose not to pursue a higher education. And that leaves many of them ill-prepared to find good employment, let alone attain the American dream. But high costs also leave some college graduates with levels of debt that hamper their abilities to attain at least a middle-class lifestyle. This debate deserves a discussion of not only pros and cons, but the reality of whether the rise of 4-year universities tuition has a direct effect on people of a lower-socioeconomic background.

Why Should College Be Free for Everyone?

Many advocates for free college believe the current education system in America is failing to provide an adequate education for a reasonable price. According to the Department of Education the average annual increase in college tuition from 1980-2014 grew by nearly 260% compared to the nearly 120% increase in all consumer items.  Thus, proponents of free college have confidence that free college will not only benefit the entire nation, but families who come from the lower-class. Which would allow them a chance for social mobility from one social class to another.

The issue of why college should be free isn’t just an economic issue, but also a moral and ethical one. The question many advocates asks to naysayers is “Does every American deserve the right to an education regardless of social standing so they can have an equal opportunity for life, liberty and the pursuit happiness?” They contend the morals of which this country was founded on, but not always followed have stipend the ability for disenfranchised people of America to move up from the lower class to middle or upper middle class. Therefore, without affordable access to quality higher education for everyone, the collective intelligence and goodwill of the nation will erode. Also with the election of current President Donald J. Trump many Americans wonder will free college ever be a real possibility or will the needs/wants of the upper class always have a part in the fate of people from the lower class?

Ultimately, many supporters of free college state several reasons why college education should be free. Here are three commonly cited reasons why college should be free:

  • A better-educated population could result in smarter decision-making at every level of society, which could lead to faster progress in solving our most difficult, collective challenges.
  • Students would be able to focus more on their studies rather than worrying about how to scrape together enough funds for each semester. As a result, more of them might graduate on time, ready to take on important jobs in their communities.
  • Graduating with high amounts of student loan debt has been shown to reduce a person’s chances of owning a home, getting married, having children, and accumulating wealth.

“Free Public College” is a Flawed Policy

Adversaries of free college tend to believe that such an idea would be too expensive for the federal and state governments to maintain long-term. As a consequence, Americans may have to start paying much higher taxes. And that, they say, could hurt the economy since people might have less to spend or invest. They advocate if America starts handing out free degrees it would compromise many of the principles this country was founded on. Such as the mindset where everyone has the same opportunity to “pull themselves up by their own bootstraps”. This ideology would suggest that everyone in America has equal opportunity to go to college and make their way up to the middle class.

Recently with the push for tuition-free college the key question many naysayers have is “What happens if public generosity does not keep pace with rising college costs, increases in demand, or both?” They suggest that if colleges decide to open their doors for free, they won’t have the resources to adequately educate students.  Opponents would also suggest that free college plans assume tuition prices are the main obstacle to student success. When studies would propose otherwise for example, community colleges where federal grants cover the price of tuition for the average low-income student. In spite of free tuition only one-third of students from the bottom income quartile who started at a community college in 2009 finished with a  degree or certification by 2016.

These numbers would suggest that college success is not based on the function of tuition prices, but deeper problems. Here are a few other reasons why some people oppose free college for everyone.

  • With more people choosing to attend public colleges because of their tuition-free status, many schools might have to create wait lists or expand the ones they already have. State budgets could become strained, which might lead to cuts and decreased access to the programs that students want to take.
  • Many students would still have to borrow money for their living expenses as well as for books and supplies. So, they wouldn’t get to leave school completely debt-free.
  • Students might take their college education less seriously if they don’t have to pay for it. So graduation numbers might drop, or the people who do graduate might not be as well prepared for the workforce.

Final Thoughts

In the end this debate may be a bit controversial depending on what side of the coin you fall on. However, maybe some sort of middle ground can be met by making public education at least affordability for all people. What are your thoughts should college tuition be free for everyone? Comment below & if you enjoyed this post please comment, share & like!

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When Life Gives You Lemons: What Do You Make?

The expression “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade” is used to encourage us when we’re facing adversity in our lives. When you face said adversity in a way you can feel satisfied with, you’re making life a little sweeter. Lemons suggest bitterness (an obstacle or hardship you are facing), while lemonade is sweet and pleasant. Staying positive and figuring out how to solve problems is much more advantageous than allowing yourself to go sour. We all have faced some type of adversity in our lives whether we like it or not. Those lemons (obstacles) in our life can cause us to be overwhelm and confused. But having obstacles are not the end verdict. It is what you do with said lemons that make the difference.

 Dealing with Adversity

When you hear the word adversity, what comes to mind? Whenever you feel yourself getting into adverse situations having a positive reaction can be helpful response. Take the time out to think about your response before you make a hasty decision. First off start by changing your mindset towards the word adversity and how you define this for your life.  If you think of adversity as bad luck or in a negative connotation or simply misfortune. When this these thought start to enter your mind take a moment to take a deep breath, reflect on the situation and maybe even take a calm walk around. Then come back to the adverse situation and rather than feeling down and stuck because of this hardship see it in a positive outlook. Although this better said than done this is a learned practiced which can be learned and implemented into anyone’s life. Overcoming adversity means picking up what is left with yourself, getting it all together again, and readjusting for the next chapter of your life.

Overcoming Obstacles

One of the first steps to overcoming obstacles is— understanding it won’t last forever obtaining this mindset is key.  Keeping a positive perceptive and staying focus on the “bigger picture”.  Looking forward to your future endeavors, goals and the people you want in your life. Overcoming adversity must simply be done not to take you down, but to reveal the greatness that’s already inside you. Many people have dreams for their life, but don’t want to go through all the obstacles to achieve said dream or goal. Even the most driven, dedicated and educated people have trouble taking the necessary action that is requires to withstand fear, humiliation, and discomfort. We’re conditioned from childhood to avoid unpleasant feelings. Nothing stirs those feelings more than taking risks, overcoming adverse situations and achieving a dream. It’s no wonder change can feel so challenging. You may need to ask yourself: What’s really hold holding me back?

 

What Are You Going To Do With The Lemons In Your Life?

As you can see, there are many obstacles a person faces throughout life. It takes self-reflection to determine if they are really going to make lemonade out of their lemons, once you identify your obstacles (lemons), you can then take the necessary steps to overcome them. Remember, your obstacles are not your limitations in life you can achieve your goals and dreams if you truly believe in them. Which of these obstacles have you dealt with in pursuing your dreams?  Let me know in the comment section & if you liked this post please share!

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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Love is Blind?

“Love is blind… we all have been played once”

This quote was written by a great philosopher that stated that love is blinding, because it’s hard to see clearly when you’re in love. Many times love is seen as a powerful pleasure or deep pain depending on what side we fall on can change our perception of love.  Love can give us the feeling that even money cannot buy or cause us pain that can seem never ending.  No matter our age or experience love is always a topic that we all are still trying understand and figure out.

‘Love is Blind’

Majority of the time when someone says love is blind they usually mean when we are in midst of deep love and think everything our partner does is right. Many times we tend to be blinded to the behavior or negative traits that differ from our idealized image of the person we are involved with. We often love the idealized object rather than the real one. Are we then blind when we fall in love and when we maintain it?

Clear Eyes

In a large number of cases we tend to fall in love with our ideal version of our partner. Instead of what they really are because often we tend to be in love with idea of being in love. This can cause us not to have clear eyes when it comes to the validity of our relationship. Therefore these illusions are in fact a major part in our view of love.

The complex nature of love and the fact that lovers are often unwilling to face reality, self-deception and mistakes are likely to occur. Have you ever been blinded by love unrelenting light? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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4 Misconceptions About Money

The myths surrounding money are numerous and widely held, especially among the young. It’s a shame, because pursuing myths will lead you astray, waste your time and, taken to extremes, ruin your life. Here are 4 popular misconceptions about money that experience has taught me are more often fiction than fact.

  1. Money will help me find love:

In my experience with women, they’re not attracted to money. They are, however, attracted to ambition and intelligence, especially when it presents as humor. Everyone’s attracted to people who are self-confident, non-needy, and able to laugh at themselves.

  1. More money less problems:

Money doesn’t end anxiety. It gives you something else to be anxious about: losing your money. Granted, those without enough money to eat or keep a roof over their heads have lots to worry about.  To quote the great philosopher Christopher Wallace better known as Biggie Smalls who said it best “Mo Money Mo Problems”.

  1. Personal Loan Rates Vary Greatly Per Lender:

Most people think that the rates of different lenders vary greatly. The truth is that usually, lenders would charge only 1% to 5% interest fees. The extra amounts are fees that a lender would charge aside from the interest fee. For you not to be misled, you must always ask the lender what exactly the fees are before you borrow.

  1. Paying Others First:

Don’t pay others first, pay yourself first. You are taught not to be self-centered but when it comes to money, be self-centered — pay yourself first and bill collectors next. This seems impossible when you first start, but it works like magic once you commit and you will actually see yourself cutting unnecessary expenses and creating more income to meet your REAL requirements.

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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“There’s no elevator to success you have to take the stairs” 

Most of us desire success in one form or another. Some just daydream about it, while some work day and night to make it happen. We live in a society where having money and materialistic things define success. This ideology usually comes from the media, TV and movies portrayal of success to the mass audience. These images can sometimes alter the way we look at success.

However, success can be defined in many different ways some may see it as being able to spend their time free time enjoying the simple things in life. Others may see success in the acquisition of knowledge, growth and understanding.  For me “success” means being able to wake up every day with a smile on my face doing the things that I love i.e. writing and being a positive outlet for as many people as I can. I go into more detail about success in my latest podcast “How Do You Define Success”?

How do you define success? Comment below.

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Does ‘Goal Setting’ Stop Us From Taking Action?

Last week I received a email from one of my readers and he asked me an interesting and quite thought-provoking question. He said “Why does goal setting often stop smart people from taking action”? This question had me pondering for a couple of days. I then started reading different publications, articles and excerpts from books about this topic.  Then it prompted me to analyze and ponder why so many people who are “smart” never reach their full potential.

Setting Goals

The act of setting “big picture” goal that is very clear and specific should help our focus on what matters most. However in many cases this is far from reality often times it leaves us confused, irritated and sometimes ready to give up. When it comes to taking massive action towards our goals it can be quite scary and nerve wracking. In fact, the clearer some people get on their values and priorities, the more frighten they can become.

So why does this happen?

The reason is simple but not automatically evident.  Simply put, when we go through one of these moments in our lives where we set out a “big picture”.  We have the notion that the process will make our lives easier and more fulfilling. This is often not the case in the short term, because as many of us know the process of reaching our “bigger picture” can be long and grueling.

Final Thoughts

In the end to make consistent, powerful headway on your long-term goals, we have to devote ourselves to becoming an outstanding director of our time, effort and focus exactly where we are now. Fixing the process of how you work has to be a top priority. We have to become committed to making the adjustments in your habits and behaviors that will create more leverage in your life. What goals do you have for your life? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!

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What’s Your Bigger Picture?

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

During the daily grind of life paying bills, working a job or pursing our passion. We can lose sight of our “bigger picture”, because of self-doubt, bills and just life obstacles. For anyone who has goals, dreams or aspirations in life seeing the bigger picture can be challenging when we face obstacles on our journey to greatness. No matter what our specific goal is there will always be obstacles, naysayers, or setbacks. Often times when this occurs we tend to ask ourselves questions like “Is there even a point to this” or “Will all my hard work pay off or am I wasting my time”. These negative thoughts tend to be followed by fear of failure which can lead us to give up on our dreams.

Through our daily grind towards our goals it can be difficult to maintain our focus on our main goal. Many times, we let distractions lessen our attention on the goal at hand. The power to maintain our focus is simply believing in our vision. Once we fully believe in our vision no matter what obstacle we face we have the fortitude to overcome it. However, knowing what our “bigger picture” is can be overwhelming when our vision is unclear.

Without a goal to shoot for it can be difficult or downright impossible to have a bigger picture. Thus, we’re basically running in circles or meandering our way in a general direction without having a define goal. This is the reason why we need to come up with a “vision statement” for our life then set goals to help us move towards that vision.

What is Your vision statement?

A vision statement is your assertion of what you want out of life. It is your chance to answer the question, “When I get to the end of my life, I will be the most disappointed if I never accomplished ___________.” Your vision statement is a written list of all those things you dream about when you look into the future. It covers as many facets of your life as imaginable in as much detail as possible. One of the main reasons we need a vision statement for our lives, because it gives us direction and a goal to follow throughout life. However, as we go through our mission and goals change so there’s nothing wrong with changing our vision statement when we change.

Final Thoughts

Throughout history most people who got ahead and made a difference in life had a plan they were passionate about. Majority of the time they had a strategic plan, work ethic and passion that guided them on their way to success. Even when an obstacle came across their path they looked at it as a learning experience instead of a failure or setback. As a wise man once told me “I learn more from failure than success… because it gives me the opportunity to learn from my mistakes.”

What’s your “bigger picture” do you have a vision statement for your life? Comment below & if you enjoyed this post please comment, like & share!

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