Stop Comparing Yourself To Others Success

A few weeks ago, I received an email from one of my readers who reached out to me and asked “How can I reach my goals.” This is a common question that I get often they also said “everyone around me are achieving their goals and accomplishing their dreams… and I’m just stuck in the same place for the last five years.” This conundrum is something many of us go through especially since the invention of social media. Where you can see the often overdramatize version of success at the touch of our fingertips. Sometimes we compare ourselves to others, when we see them succeed at something we want to do.

For example, let’s say someone who has an amazing blog and a huge following of over 100,000 people, and I look at my blog and following and start to think I don’t measure up. This type of thinking can only alter and change my mindset towards my own blog. Often times when we do this type of comparison we don’t take into consideration that the other person might have done this for 10 years and until the last two wasn’t at the level we see them at today.

Here are four reasons we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others.

  1. It’s Unfair – One thing that is difficult to learn is comparisons are unfair, because life isn’t a level playing field. We all come from different backgrounds, upbringings and we face different obstacles throughout life. For example, if someone is born into a wealthy family who parents both have their own businesses will most likely have a completely different journey to someone who comes from a working-class family who may not have resources of the first family. In the end we’re all running the same race, but aren’t all on the same track.


  1. Be Yourself – This is a cliché narrative that we’ve all heard at least 1,000 times in our lives, but bear with me. As we all know every person on this earth are different and just as incomparable you’re, your journey is as well incomparable. Everyone path is different even if you’re trying to arrive at the same place, but you might be on different roads.


  1. It’s a Waste of Energy – The energy and time we put into comparing ourselves to others is truly a waste of time. The time we’re putting into their lives we could be focusing on our own and the future goals we’re working towards.


  1. Be Present & Thankful – Sometimes we’re overly focused on the future and where we want to be. Instead of being upset or indifferent about our current situation we have to learn to be thankful for where we’re at the moment.

Final Thoughts

In the end, we live in a society where we’re obsessed with measurements: height, weight, bank account, status in life, GPA etc. Therefore, we have to keep our minds away from that train of thought and start looking at life for what makes us happy and fulfilled. Whether that’s learning something new, helping people or being a great parent. We have to find our purpose and go after that instead of chasing people, material things i.e. money, cars or status in life.

 What are your thoughts? Comment below and if you enjoyed this article please share!

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5 Ways To Develop A Mindset Driven For Wealth

Over the past decade or so there has been ad campaigns, infomercials and “financial freedom guru’s” who’s idea of obtaining wealth has been commercialize. Therefore, causing many of us to develop more and more interest in obtaining this “freedom” that wealth can bring.Many of us have seen the infomercials where it’s some guy on a jet ski talking about how he went from sleeping on his or her parent’s coach and now he owns a huge house and jet ski. Or more common in today’s internet age where those same type of narrative is displayed through Facebook or YouTube ads.

Source: 5 Ways To Develop A Mindset Driven For Wealth

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Moving Forward: Letting Go Of The Past

The Pain

We’ve all been hurt before whether it was by a complete stranger, family member, close friend or significant other. It’s pretty much inevitable for us to experience some kind of emotional pain. Sometimes the pain from this can affect us in our daily lives and cause us to hold grudges, and anger towards people who in some cases did nothing to cause us pain. This can be challenging when navigating relationships both professional and personal.

The Next Step

Stuck in the past? Are you concerned about the wrongs people have done to you in the past? A lot of times it is hard to shake these depressing thoughts and not hold on to the pain that person caused. The issue then becomes much bigger than the “hurt” but what we do with it is more vital than the hurt itself. If we hold on to the pain it will only cause more pain. It’s important to ask ourselves is holding a grudge really going to help us have a happier and successful life?

Moving Forward

Our minds are one of our most powerful weapons that sometimes we don’t utilize properly. You can do anything in the world by thinking the right way. Most people want to live a life full of joy and happiness that can easily be accomplished by using our minds. If you just take the time to let go of all of the past problems, disagreements, heartache and pain and realize all those were just a stepping stone for you to move into your purpose.

Changing Our Mindset

Once you let go of the past and move forward some might ask move forward for what? The simple answer to this is to anything you want. When you finally let that hurt, pain and heartache go LITERALLY ANYTHING is possible. Now you can focus on whatever makes you happy in life which in the end is what we all want. Having a great mindset sets truly happy and successful people apart from those who never let go of the past. The thoughts you have, are vital to leaving the past behind to a truly bigger and better life.

Everyone has had some type of pain, hurt or heartache in their lives. Do you remember what yours was & how did you get past it? Comment below and if you like this post please share!

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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Is the American Dream Far-Fetched for Millennials?

Many Americans across the United States of America have always dreamed of a middle-class lifestyle with a white picket fence and 2.5 kids. The idea of living the American Dream can be traced back to the ideals that this country was founded on. This so-called dream is usually defined as being the opportunity for all citizens to achieve their goals and become successful if they work hard enough. However, in today’s economy some Americans have started to question the attainability of the “American Dream.”

Is the American Dream Far-Fetched for Millennials?

Millennials in America are entering the workforce at a time when good jobs are hard to find and career advancement is an endless struggle. Around 60% of all millennials do not have a college degree. Even young people with college degrees are finding work in entry-level jobs that don’t require a four-year university education.

According to research by the Economic Policy Institute, the wages for recent college graduates (adjusted for inflation) have fallen 7.7% since 2000. While numerous facets of the economy have recovered from the recession, the youth unemployment rate has remained high, especially among African Americans. Young adults have been one of the demographics hardest hit by the recession.

In 2016 there were 5.5 million young adults between the ages of 16 and 24 disconnected from school and work. Unemployment for this group is double the national average and youth disconnection rates remain higher than pre-recession rates.

The Good News

Even though some of the statistics concerning the economy doesn’t always paint the picture of hope for the American people. However, there is some good news the unemployment rate is at its lowest since 2008 and access to job opportunities has increased steadily since 2011. During my research, I’ve discovered that the nation’s uneven and unpredictable economic recovery – while we have made improvement, it is clear that there is a great deal more that needs to be done.

What are your thoughts? Do you think the American Dream is out of reach in today society? Comment below and if you liked this article please share!

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Believing V.S Supporting

About a week ago I was doing some research for my up-coming podcast show. When an associate of mine asked me “Why is it when we are pursuing our dreams some people especially family always bring up having a backup or a more stable plan”. This was an interesting question that I pondered for a few days. Some may contend that the reason why someone might mention having a backup plan is, because they want to see the best in us and don’t want us to make mistakes or take too many risks. On the other hand some may see it as that person doesn’t truly believe in whatever we are trying to achieve even though they may support. This brings up the question is there a difference between supporting someone versus believing?

What is Belief?

We all know when it comes to pursuing a goal, dream, or taking a chance in our lives. There will be people in our lives who will differ in their opinion on the reality of our plans. Some may support but don’t believe in our aspirations. This can become an issue when we tell our family, friends and significant others our dreams. When someone closes to us doesn’t “truly believe” in whatever we are pursuing can cause us to have self-doubt. The definition of believe states “have faith or feel sure that (someone) is capable of a particular action”. This simply means trusting that without a shadow of a doubt that whatever dream we are pursuing will happen.

What is Support?

The definition of support states “to give help or assistance”. This simply means that you are helpful and optimistic in some cases. This can be common, because it can be challenging for someone to see our vision we have for our lives. This is when it is important to be mindful of who we tell our plans and dreams to. This piggyback to the question is there a difference between support and believing?

Final Thoughts

In the end when we’re conveying our plans or vision we have to always be aware of who we are telling. Some people are naturally negative I like to refer to them as “Negative Nancy” or “Negative Nate”. If we encounter these type of people we should keep our vision away from them especially in the early stages. Do you think there is a difference between is there a supporting someone versus believing? Comment below & if you like this post please share!


Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

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The Power Of Love & Hate

Emotions are the strongest feelings that come to life through our highest highs and our lowest lows. The two most extreme emotions are love and hate. As history has feed us the narrative, “Love conquers all.”  This statement has been highly publicized and debated. Some agree with the idea that with love you can do anything and overcome any obstacle. In my experience love is stronger than hate because it grows you to the place and person you want to be while hate only brings pain, sorrow and distress in the end.

Power of Hate

The power of hate can be dangerous and in some cases can cause major issues in communities and societal problems. The definition of hate is “to dislike intensely or passionately feel extreme aversion”. Public perception tends to have angry and hateful outlook nowadays. Especially when commenting in text form on social media platforms or other online community forums. This hate comes in all forms of insults, negativity and racist views. This hate can tear down and dismiss even the strongest of people. The power of hate can be used in many social situations that cause pain and sorrow to the person on the receiving end of it.

Power of Love

The power of love has always been a strong defender against hate. With love and communication anything can be overcome. Love has always been an effective force in relation to society and social relations issues. If more people would spread love and positivity as a society we could come together and find a solution to all are concerns.

Love V.S Hate 

With all the misplaced hate in the world today finding positivity and love can be quite a challenge. There are many different views, perspectives, opinions and many people who are “stuck in their ways”. Some people either don’t care to listen or change they just accept the narrative and rather move on from the subject and how it effects anyone other than themselves. In light of all the recent news of police violence, hate crimes, violent crimes against police and citizens in major cities. I want everyone reading this to take a step back and think about their life and ask yourself is love or hate more powerful? Many of us have seen hate destroy communities, people and race relations just because of some in many cases minor differences. Most of time the hate is misplaced and divides us even more. Comment below whether you believe  love or hate is more powerful in today’s society & if  you liked this post don’t forget to share!

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.

Posted in Life, Love | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 114 Comments

Finding Yourself V.S Creating Yourself

For many years the concept of finding yourself versus creating yourself has been a topic of discussion.  This concept comes from a famous quote by author George Bernard Shaw “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating you”.

Finding Yourself

Many times when the topic of finding yourself is usually referenced to a “young person” just beginning their life’s journey to find their purpose, or when an older person puns about what their plans are once they “grow up.” Finding yourself suggests you are lost, confused or in a chaotic state. Often times we let the world or other influences dictate our path. This can become problematic when most of the narrative about finding yourself turns negative once we reach a certain age. This happens when society looks at us as a failure or as if we have underachieved in our lives.

Creating Yourself

Instead, many may argue that we should never “find ourselves” but we should always be creating ourselves. Most aficionados of this topic suggest that we can never create ourselves until we start to experiment uncharted territory, take risk and step out of our comfort-zone. Once we stop our “guided tours”, and start dictating where are life is headed. Which may truly help us “create” ourselves versus finding ourselves. Often times we ignore our inner thoughts to do something unlike the norm and go in a way that our heart leads us to follow our dreams and desires rather than take the safe route or easier road. These moments usually happen when we are at a crossroad or tough decisions that occur in our lives. Whatever choice we make can have a huge impact on our life.

Finding Yourself V.S Creating Yourself

When we were kids we instinctively leaned in the direction of creation. We made mud pies, finger painting and creating a whole plot-line story to play while we explored outside. We were chronicling our own course, creating something new, and finding out more about ourselves without even realizing it. This is often not the case once we reach adulthood because we have factors such as bills, life choices, families, fear of failure and different factors that don’t allow us the options to “go in the world and explore”.

Final Thoughts

It’s not easy and it’s not comfortable to create or find ourselves. Either one has it challenges and downsides but in the end it is our life and our decision. Many times we let what other people’s think change or alter what we really want to do in our life. We have decided what our path we will be and what journey we will take to achieve this. So do you spend your time trying to create yourself or find yourself? Comment below & if you liked this post please share!


Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.


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Staying Positive In A Negative World

If you haven’t noticed that we live in a negative world, you just haven’t been paying attention. Whether it’s social media, news outlets, movies or just mainstream society there are countless number of negative images displayed in the world today. These negative influences have been especially evident during the past couple of years with the emergence of various news stories that have portrayed a negative narrative. These stories have created many debates, discussions and in some cases violence such as the apparent police brutality cases that have spread over many news stations over the past couple of years. Not to mention the presidential campaign that has brought up many negative and tasteless messages.  Then if you add in things like sickness, the loss of a job, or marriage problems, and you can easily see where over time the pressures of the world have caused some of us to lose our positive outlooks and steal the love and joy from our life.

It is very easy to let all these negative influence’s get us down and have us in a state of self-pity but it is imperative for us to stay positive despite the negativity that surrounds us. It is our decision to stay positive. It is our decision to live in peace, not in frustration with the way things are going. We make hundreds to thousands of decisions every day. Such as, when to wake up, what to wear, what to eat, what to work on and what to put off for another day, what to watch, read or listen to. We can’t get away from making choices. The world around us may be negative  we may hear it daily  where its gas prices rising, economy getting worse , real estate sales down ,food prices rising, which political candidate will become the next president and on and on it goes. In light of all the things that may be going on around us being positive is a crucial component to having a successful and happy life. This was one of my main purposes of starting this website to be a positive outlet for anyone reading my post to show the world that there still is some positivity left in this world.

Here are a few techniques that can be used to maintain a positive outlook when the world seems so incredibly negative:

  1. Control The Negative People In Your Life:

This is very essential to having a positive outlook because if you surround self with what I like to call “Negative Nancy’s”. It can bring you down and have your mind fill with negative thoughts. Make sure the people you surround yourself with are people who bring out the absolute best in you, not people who drag you down.

  1. Pray / Meditate:

This is a key component to staying positive its gives you another outlet to relive some of the daily stress. A simple two-phrase prayer can sometimes lift all the negativity off your shoulders.

  1. Laugh:

To simply laugh sometimes does the body well like medicine because laughter causes you to stay in present moment and enjoy it.

  1. Disconnect:

Sometimes it’s good to get away from friends, family, social media, TV and our cell phone and shut down and just give our mind a break.

Lastly there is nothing left to do but take action and begin improving your life and the people around you. If people live good lives, the allure of living in a negative way is suddenly gone. And remember, everyone does better when everyone does better. Comment below if you live your life with a positive outlook or is it a struggle to do so. Also if you liked this post don’t forget to like and please share!

Copyright ©2016 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved

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How To Manage Your 9-5 & Side Hustle

For the majority of us who have entrepreneurial aspirations, but may not have the capital to start our own business without taking out a loan or borrowing from a family member. Often times the best option is to have a side a hustle. A side hustle provides an extra source of income that many of us need in today’s society where the cost of living goes up yearly. Although the idea of a side hustle is promising it leaves us with the duty of juggling our full-time job and other responsibilities with the extra work of a side hustle.

While finding the perfect balance between your side hustle and your full-time job there are a number of things you can do to manage your side hustle to avoid the always looming burnout. Here are a few tips and methods to manage your side hustle.

1. Set an End Goal – With any goal we need to have a destination on where we see ourselves throughout the whole process of our goal. Setting an end or short-term goal with side hustling is beneficial to keeping your goal at the forefront of your mind.

2. Work/life balance – When we have a side hustle having work life balance can be a difficult task. In any entrepreneurial endeavor, our business becomes integrated into our lives and we’ll find that our brain will always be buzzing with ideas. However, it’s always important to take some time to relax and give your brain a break. Rather its watching your favorite TV show, hanging out with friends/family or listen to relaxing music we all need time for balance.

3. Sacrifice & Prioritize – Generally, when you add extra work hours to your schedule usually you have to sacrifice something in your life. Rather it be binge watching shows on Netflix, hanging out with friends or spending countless hours on social media scrolling. These few sacrifices will help you gain back more time and energy to side hustle to balance things out.

4. Don’t listen to the Naysayers – No matter what we do in life there will be people who want to see you fail or simply just don’t believe you can achieve your goal. Often times, people who might be closes to you may not believe in your vision. Sometimes reflecting their own fears onto you by dismissing your goals. In the end, we have to learn to not let other people words affect us.

Final Thoughts

Ultimately if your goal is to be a full-time entrepreneur you have to look at your 9-5 as a means to an end. Whether we enjoy our job or not we have to take advantage of the opportunity to be able to have the security of a 9-5, but still have the opportunity to follow our dreams. A wise woman once told me “Even though I might work 40 hours on my job… and only work about 20 hours on my dreams… I’ve trained my mind to keep my entrepreneur endeavors at the forefront of my mind.”

What is your side hustle goals for the remainder of the year? How do you manage your side hustle and your 9-5? Comment below & if you liked this article please share!

Copyright ©2017 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.



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How To Find Happiness During ‘The Process’

For most people who’re going after a specific goal we often go to sleep with a ton of ideas, concepts and maybe a to do list of things we need to do the following day. This is common for anyone working towards a goal and we’ve all found ourselves doing this once or twice. However, this can become problematic when we start to not enjoy the process.

The process is a term used to describe “the period of time between starting our goal and actually reaching it.” Many times, the process can be overwhelming and mentally draining causing us to over analyze and become frustrated. This happens because the process can be long and grueling causing us to devlop self-doubt wondering can or will we ever reach our goals.

Often times when this happens we can either do a couple of things one is to give up or two keep fighting through the process to make it to our end goal.

Believe Before You See

To have faith is to have deep sense of trust in what cannot be seen. Proof or confirmation is not needed to have faith in the process. Rather you’re religious or not having faith is essential to making our goals reality.  To trust the process, completely is not need to know what is unfolding or why, but to simply have the belief that what you’re doing is ultimately going to work.

However, without putting in the time and effort it is downright impossible to accomplish our goals. Consequently, we have to believe in whatever we’re doing no matter what circumstances unfolded in our lives.

Final Thoughts

Going through “the process” to reach success can be overwhelming, but we always have to remind ourselves to enjoy the moment. Often times we get caught up in where we want to be in our career, life or success wise. That we tend to forget to be thankful for where we are at that present moment.  This doesn’t mean to not strive for better, but don’t get down on yourself for not reaching your goal at that present time.

Ask yourself this, what brings you joy? Do you enjoy your day to day grind working towards your goals? Comment below & if you liked article please share!

Copyright ©2017 Jay Colby All Rights Reserved.


Posted in Goals, Greatness, Inspiration, Lifestyle, Motivation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments